While Mile High Mama blogger Catherine Tidd has spent the last few years developing a global online support group for widows and widowers (www.theWiddahood.com), she has also been hard at work on her memoir, Confessions of a Mediocre Widow, which took the number two spot on the local nonfiction bestseller list less than two weeks after its release. In her first interview with us, she talks about everything from finding humor in grief to dating as a single parent. And we are excited to be giving away three copies of her book (see below)! Why did you write this memoir? Confessions of a Mediocre Widow is the book I wanted when my husband died in 2007. I was 31-years-old with three small children and most of the books that I came across were either too clinical/self-help for ...
Acknowledging the anniversary of the death of a spouse is difficult for many widows. Usually, aside from the questions about dating and in-laws, that is the question we ask each other the most: “What do you do to get through the day?” And after six years, I’m beginning to think I’ve been doing it all wrong.
In 2001 I started dating the handsome man that would eventually become my husband. We wanted to start a family (neither of us had kiddos yet) but were in our late thirties. Of course, I had a plan. I gave us a year to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. If that didn’t happen we would start a new journey…Adoption. I did my homework during the “conception year” and learned the good, the bad and the ugly of foster to adopt, international and domestic adoption. I presented my findings to my husband and we both agreed, fost/adopt was the route we would go. In 2007, our fostering to adopt journey began. The county was very clear from the get go: they are not an adoption agency, their goal is reunification. We were certified in 2008 and got “the call” for our f...
Dealing with the holidays after the loss of a loved one isn’t easy for anyone. Believe me, I know. I used to be the kind of woman who had all of her Christmas shopping done by the beginning of October and her decorations up during Thanksgiving weekend. I was so together that anything that needed to be mailed to family out of state was packed up and at the post office no later than December 10th in order to avoid the holiday rush. And I was so excited for Christmas that I couldn’t narrow down my cookie selection so I made them all, cheerfully placing them in tins and delivering them to my neighbors with a smile and a “Merry Christmas!” But in 2007, all of that changed.
Father’s Day is not what it used to be. I’ve gotten used to many of the milestones I have faced since I became a widow, almost 4 years ago. I can jolly us through Christmas and be thankful on Thanksgiving. I can even look at his birthday as a celebration of his life. But Father’s Day is a day devoted to celebrating fathers. And the fact that my kids have lost theirs…well…that can’t be glossed over.
Assess, Ask, and Act: The three steps to successfully and sincerely helping a friend through loss and transition.
Not once in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be back in the dating pool in my 30s. If someone had predicted 5 years ago that I’d be looking for a new relationship I would have said there was a better chance that I’ll be trampled to death by elephants in my own home than contemplating my profile on Match.com. But that’s where I am. In the dating pool. The deep end.
Did you know that April is National Organ Donation Awareness Month? I know it’s probably not marked on your calendar because it’s not celebrated by drinking green beer or setting off illegal fireworks. But I feel that it is my duty to bring it to your attention so that in the future, when you think “spring” you think “kidney.”
Imagine this. You suddenly start crying and you can’t figure out what triggered it. You feel angry at the world because you’ve just learned that life isn’t fair. You’re grieving because you are living without someone you were never meant to lose. Now imagine that you’re seven years old.
I hate to go all “Shirley MacLaine” on you…but I’ve had two lives. My first life was pretty typical: House in the ‘burbs, nice husband who was pretty easy on the eyes, 3 kids I was sometimes tempted to put out on the driveway with a sign that said “free to a good home” but who were overall pretty good. My second life started in July of 2007 when I suddenly became the “it could be worse” person of my social circle. You know…that girl who, when you’re having a bad day, you think, “At least I’m not her!” Not really who I wanted to be in my early 30s. I became that person because my husband was in an accident on his way to work and died 3 days later, leaving me with 3 small children to raise on my own. That’s right. At the ripe old age of 31, I became a widow and the most “single” ...