Wit, Wisdom, and Wine: One Woman’s “Confessions of a Mediocre Widow”
While Mile High Mama blogger Catherine Tidd has spent the last few years developing a global online support group for widows and widowers (www.theWiddahood.com), she has also been hard at work on her memoir, Confessions of a Mediocre Widow, which took the number two spot on the local nonfiction bestseller list less than two weeks after its release. In her first interview with us, she talks about everything from finding humor in grief to dating as a single parent. And we are excited to be giving away three copies of her book (see below)!
Why did you write this memoir?
Confessions of a Mediocre Widow is the book I wanted when my husband died in 2007. I was 31-years-old with three small children and most of the books that I came across were either too clinical/self-help for me or were memoirs written by older widows. I needed something that I could relate to and I wanted a book that read more like a story than something that outlined the stages of grief.
Widow Milestones and Getting By with a Little Help from Cirque du Soleil
Acknowledging the anniversary of the death of a spouse is difficult for many widows. Usually, aside from the questions about dating and in-laws, that is the question we ask each other the most: “What do you do to get through the day?”
And after six years, I’m beginning to think I’ve been doing it all wrong.
Becoming Mothers: From Infertility to Foster Care to Widowhood to Adoption
In 2001 I started dating the handsome man that would eventually become my husband. We wanted to start a family (neither of us had kiddos yet) but were in our late thirties. Of course, I had a plan. I gave us a year to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. If that didn’t happen we would start a new journey…Adoption. I did my homework during the “conception year” and learned the good, the bad and the ugly of foster to adopt, international and domestic adoption. I presented my findings to my husband and we both agreed, fost/adopt was the route we would go.
In 2007, our fostering to adopt journey began.
The county was very clear from the get go: they are not an adoption agency, their goal is reunification. We were certified in 2008 and got “the call” for our first placements in early 2009: 4 1/2 year old twins, “Jack” and “Jill”. Our entire family fell in love and those darling angels blessed our home for nine months. Our hope of hopes was adoption but they ended up going to live with kin.
Finding the Christmas Spirit after the Loss of a Spouse
Dealing with the holidays after the loss of a loved one isn’t easy for anyone. Believe me, I know. I used to be the kind of woman who had all of her Christmas shopping done by the beginning of October and her decorations up during Thanksgiving weekend. I was so together that anything that needed to be mailed to family out of state was packed up and at the post office no later than December 10th in order to avoid the holiday rush. And I was so excited for Christmas that I couldn’t narrow down my cookie selection so I made them all, cheerfully placing them in tins and delivering them to my neighbors with a smile and a “Merry Christmas!”
But in 2007, all of that changed.
Father’s Day: An Emotional Day When You’re Celebrating Without A Father
Father’s Day is not what it used to be. I’ve gotten used to many of the milestones I have faced since I became a widow, almost 4 years ago. I can jolly us through Christmas and be thankful on Thanksgiving. I can even look at his birthday as a celebration of his life. But Father’s Day is a day devoted to celebrating fathers. And the fact that my kids have lost theirs…well…that can’t be glossed over.
Life-Insurance: Do You Know the Value…of YOU?
How many of you, when it comes to talking about life-insurance with your spouse, have said one of the following statements?
It’ll never happen to us.
We’re too young!
We take care of ourselves…heck we run every day!
We’ll sign up for it later. There’s no rush.
Assess, Ask and Act: How You Can Support Someone Through Loss and Transition
Trying to support a friend or family member while they are going through a major life transition can be a very helpless feeling. We don’t know what to do, what to say, or how to act. Are we being supportive enough? Are we too much “in their business”? I haven’t heard from her in awhile…does that mean she wants me to leave her alone?
My “major life transition” happened four years ago when I became a widow. Since then, I have realized that the need for support doesn’t just happen when someone dies: Divorce, job loss, infertility…so many things can completely change the scope or our lives. And in fact, that’s what loss is: Losing the life you thought you were going to have.
Treading Water in the Dating Pool
Not once in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be back in the dating pool in my 30s. If someone had predicted 5 years ago that I’d be looking for a new relationship I would have said there was a better chance that I’ll be trampled to death by elephants in my own home than contemplating my profile on Match.com.
But that’s where I am. In the dating pool. The deep end.
Getting to the Heart of Organ Donation
Did you know that April is National Organ Donation Awareness Month? I know it’s probably not marked on your calendar because it’s not celebrated by drinking green beer or setting off illegal fireworks. But I feel that it is my duty to bring it to your attention so that in the future, when you think “spring” you think “kidney.”
Big Feelings in Little Bodies: Denver’s Resources for Grieving Kids
You suddenly start crying and you can’t figure out what triggered it. You feel angry at the world because you’ve just learned that life isn’t fair. You’re grieving because you are living without someone you were never meant to lose.
Now imagine that you’re seven years old.