Acknowledging the anniversary of the death of a spouse is difficult for many widows. Usually, aside from the questions about dating and in-laws, that is the question we ask each other the most: “What do you do to get through the day?”
And after six years, I’m beginning to think I’ve been doing it all wrong.
In this day and age of divorces and remarriages, I have gotten many glimpses of what other families go through as commitments change and kids are caught in the middle. And as I have watched other people struggle to work things out with new children, custody schedules, work schedules, and different personalities in general, I have silently asked myself this question more than once:
What in the heck are they doing?
When my sister started her financial planning business, she became the Queen of Networking. If there was a committee or a board that involved women in business, she was on it. So, naturally, when I started my own business and began looking for everything from graphic design to legal assistance, I asked her if she knew anyone who might be able to help me out. And every contact she gave me had one thing in common.
They all belonged to the Alliance for Professional Women.
Several of my conversations with friends this year have had a common theme: We don’t have enough time. We don’t have enough time to see each other or take a vacation or even get a decent haircut. Sitting still isn’t an option and a full night of sleep is often a luxury. And you may be thinking that’s because all of my friends are mothers, just like I am. But they’re not.
The common denominator is that we’re all in our 30s.
So, you’ve been dating someone for a little while and have decided that it might be time to introduce this new person to your children. Congratulations!
Now what?
Unfortunately, The Brady Bunch started at Mike and Carol’s wedding so they didn’t offer us any guidelines on how they got to that place in their lives where all of the kids’ problems with each other could be happily solved in less than a half an hour. This is regrettable because when I’m faced with a family problem, I often ask myself, “Now, how would Carol handle this?” And without an episode about how they all met…I felt completely lost when I had to figure it out on my own
So, you’ve met Mr. Right or at least a possible candidate. And as we all know, there is no way to confirm that he is actually the “real thing” until he has been introduced to the kids and you see how everyone interacts. And that means getting to the next step: Setting up the introduction.
In the beginning stages, when you’re thinking about introducing your child to someone new, it’s important to remember that you and your child may be on 2 different timelines: You may be excited about this new stage in your life while your child may be dreading the changes he/she knows are on the horizon. If you’ve been through a divorce or suffered a loss, chances are you child knows that you may not want to be alone forever. And that means more adjustments for them.
Being the mother of three elementary school children, my television rarely strays from the Disney Channel’s line-up of sitcoms. I have seen every episode of Good Luck Charlie, Austin and Ally, Victorious, and A.N.T. Farm they have ever made. Most of them at least 10 times.
But as for our household favorite? Hands down: Wizards of Waverly Place.
It’s just about the only one of those shows I can tolerate, mainly because I like Selena Gomez. I think she’s cute, bubbly, and has great comedic timing. My girls own her albums and we regularly bop around in the car singing her teeny-bopper tunes.
How many of you, when it comes to talking about life-insurance with your spouse, have said one of the following statements?
It’ll never happen to us.
We’re too young!
We take care of ourselves…heck we run every day!
We’ll sign up for it later. There’s no rush.
I’ll never forget it. It was Christmas Day, 2005. I was in Lafayette, Louisiana visiting my parents with my kids, a 3-year-old and an 11-month-old. And that’s when it happened.
Well, it’s November which means that most of us are in the thick of the school year. The newness for the kids has worn off and what seemed like fun before is now starting to feel like sheer drudgery. The snooze button is getting a workout and the cheerful demeanor we mothers had at 6 AM in September has been replaced with a motherly growl as we try and get our kids to the bus on time.