Dear Mama Drama,
I recently took my 6 and 8 year old daughters to a pumpkin carving contest. It is a wonderful family event that focuses more on community than competition, but the pumpkins are judged and there are winners. My 6 year old won and my 8 year old did not. At first, the 8 year old was very supportive of her sister, but then she started crying. When we finally got to the root of the problem, she was upset that she had given her sister ideas and that her sister had won and she didn’t.
This sibling competition expresses itself frequently in negative ways in our family and I am unsure how to react or what to do about it. Growing up most of my life as an only child, I really don’t understand and am not very sympathetic to sibling rivalry.
How can I encourage my children to be loving supportive sisters and discourage them from being self-centered and competitive?
Dear Seeking Harmony:
Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up with brothers and sisters, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have that harmony you are seeking.