Finding the Christmas Spirit after the Loss of a Spouse

Dealing with the holidays after the loss of a loved one isn’t easy for anyone. Believe me, I know. I used to be the kind of woman who had all of her Christmas shopping done by the beginning of October and her decorations up during Thanksgiving weekend. I was so together that anything that needed to be mailed to family out of state was packed up and at the post office no later than December 10^th in order to avoid the holiday rush. And I was so excited for Christmas that I couldn’t narrow down my cookie selection so I made them all, cheerfully placing them in tins and delivering them to my neighbors with a smile and a “Merry Christmas!”

But in 2007, all of that changed.

Father’s Day: An Emotional Day When You’re Celebrating Without A Father

Father’s Day is not what it used to be. I’ve gotten used to many of the milestones I have faced since I became a widow, almost 4 years ago. I can jolly us through Christmas and be thankful on Thanksgiving. I can even look at his birthday as a celebration of his life. But Father’s Day is a day devoted to celebrating fathers. And the fact that my kids have lost theirs…well…that can’t be glossed over.

Assess, Ask and Act: How You Can Support Someone Through Loss and Transition

Trying to support a friend or family member while they are going through a major life transition can be a very helpless feeling. We don’t know what to do, what to say, or how to act. Are we being supportive enough? Are we too much “in their business”? I haven’t heard from her in awhile…does that mean she wants me to leave her alone?

My “major life transition” happened four years ago when I became a widow. Since then, I have realized that the need for support doesn’t just happen when someone dies: Divorce, job loss, infertility…so many things can completely change the scope or our lives. And in fact, that’s what loss is: Losing the life you thought you were going to have.