Family Planning

Home economics didn’t prepare me for motherhood. I’ve never sewn any aprons or pillows. I don’t sift flour. The closest I’ve ever come to baking biscuits is making a run to Krispy Kreme. The curriculum should’ve taught me how to clean vomit off my child’s favorite lovey bear at 3 a.m. That’s useful.  The whole child development portion of home economics was the most useless, because it involved egg babies. This is kind of misleading since eggs don’t need to be changed, burped, fed or otherwise interacted with. We had to blow the yolk out of the egg—because having a baby is pretty much like this—then construct a homemade container to carry it around in. Ultimately preventing the eggshell from cracking or breaking.