Childbirth

Orgasmic birth: the unicorn of childbirth?

Once upon a time, I wrote about orgasmic birth on my personal blog. At the time, I was only slightly pregnant and figured it was just something that would make for humorous content. But since then, I’ve been thinking about the topic more and more. Orgasmic birth: the unicorn of childbirth? I wanted to start my investigation by asking someone who has personally witnessed and attended several thousand live births: my mid-wife. The group I go to are an especially open and friendly bunch, so I knew that when I posed my question about orgasmic birth, they would be the least likely to laugh. I was right about their reaction. According to the midwife that I spoke to, she has

The Don’ts of Being a Birthing Partner: 15 Things I Wouldn’t Do If I Were You

Now that I’m working on baby number three, I’m kind of an old hat at this pregnancy/childbirth thing—Literally. I have AMA (advanced maternal age) on my file. I’m 35.  I know what to expect this time around when I go waddling into that delivery room in anticipation of pain, exhaustion, nausea, and the promise of a cold turkey sandwich at the very end. However, during my first pregnancy, I simply had no idea what to expect when it came time to deliver my baby. Like most first time moms I was plagued with wonder and worry. But, out of everything I experienced the single most surprising thing about giving birth was how easily annoyed I got.  Having the lights on was annoying. Having people whisper was annoying. Having my cervix checked was annoy...

10 Reasons C-Sections are Awesomely Awkward

Updated: November 2021 Recently, our 10-year-old son had appendicitis and needed surgery. He spent two nights in the hospital. Our 5-year-old daughter wistfully noted how lucky he was to get to be in the hospital and have surgery. Why was he lucky? Because, she explained, now he knew what it is like to be a mama having a baby in the hospital. This made everyone laugh, especially my 10-year-old son. My three youngest children were born via c-section and our new baby will be, too. My five oldest kids were born the old-fashioned way. I grew them in pickle jars in a pantry in the basement. When they were sufficiently steeped we opened the lids, just as our mothers and their mothers did before us. If you think about c-sections from a child’s perspective, they seem unduly harsh and scary. ...

C to the Section–A mom’s general observations about c-sections

Editor’s note: Since writing this post, Gretchen gave birth to her eighth child yesterday. He weighed 7lbs 15 oz. He is currently in the NICU for rapid respiration so be sure to send Gretchen your well-wishes. My first five kids were born via what some people deem the old-fashioned way. Then the exit sign flickered out. The next two babes were born via c-section, both undeniably necessary. I have no regrets regarding either delivery. Mr. Baby is scheduled to arrive in an OR, too. I’m fine with that. Here are some general observations about c-sections. They are in no logical order. If you are a dude or otherwise squeamish, this may be too much information: 1. There is a big difference in recovery time between emergency and scheduled c-sections. If you have an emergency c-section, like...