Humor

Video: Hilarious dad pulls toddler over for drinking (milk) and driving

“Keep your hands where I can see them!” There’s a new sheriff in town as this hilarious dad approaches his daughter’s mini pink car that she crashes into a snowbank. He asks her what the problem seems to be — only to cut himself off mid-sentence after noticing a pink bottle of milk in her hand. “M’am, what is in the bottle,” he asks. “What is in the cup?”

14 hilarious Halloween costumes for pregnant moms

Pregnancy may not always be fun but you can definitely have a great time on Halloween! Here are some fun and creative ideas floating around. It almost makes you wish you were pregnant again, right? Right…. Juno and Bleeker. Mummy-to-be. Miss Conception If you’re confident enough to pull off being a cow, this is darling! Magic 8 Ball Another Bun in the Oven! Nesting Saturday Night Fever Perfect Pearl Toy Story’s Mrs. Potato Head Humpty Dumpty Pot ‘o Gold Thing 1 and Thing 2

Tattooed for life: Saturn and dolphins and pain, oh my!

Way back in my teenage days, when I lacked any sense of good judgment, I decided I would get a tattoo. At least I had enough wits about me to avoid spiders on my neck or a dedication to the boyfriend of the month – I got a quarter-sized tattoo of Saturn on my right shoulder. Don’t ask me why I picked that. I don’t have a clue. When my mom found out, she angrily said, “If you want to ruin your body, go right ahead.” Little did I know that it almost ruined my life. Years later, I learned that astrologically, Saturn is not the planet you want guiding you. When you look up Saturn on Google, you find words like “loss” and “hurdles in life” and “misery.” Nifty. And I had it tattooed on my shoulder. That explained everything. The prom when I spilled tomato sauce all over my date’s white tux...

Yoga and toddlers: Can they go together? (Kind of!)

So, I really enjoy yoga. And I really enjoy my 15-month-old son, Nico. But the two of them together? I wasn’t so sure about that. I made an attempt at BYOBaby yoga when he was little and squishy and—importantly—stationary. But that ended as soon as he started scooting and mounted a Robespierre-style reign of terror over the smaller babies. Enter toddler yoga. My friend sends her son to a fancypants nursery school where the kids do daily yoga. So I thought I’d give it a try. I attended a morning class at Belly Bliss, a wonderful mama-centered place where I’d done prenatal yoga. I set up my yoga mat next to an adorable, fun-sized yoga mat for Nico and prepared to … relax? Play? Soothe a screaming child? I really didn’t know. But it turned out to be a little bit of everything. The class, led ...

God, Gratitude and Gangsta Rap

You would never guess by looking at me, but I can spew N.W.A. lyrics like I grew up on the streets of Compton. Clearly, I didn’t; I’m a suburban white mom but I grew up listening to gangsta rap, one of the (many) ways I impressed my now husband, who IS an actual gangster (not really, but he’s bad a$$, and I’m not embellishing just because he’s my husband). I moved from Morrison, Colorado to Hobe Sound, Florida following the incredibly unexpected loss of my father when I was 11. I went from a predominantly white elementary school (and when I say predominantly, I mean probably 99.99%) to a predominantly black middle school (and when I say predominantly, I mean probably 95.99%). So began my education in gansta rap; suburban white girl listening to ...

Mom’s sweet “Hallelujah” to baby goes viral on Facebook

Who can’t relate to this sweet rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah?”  In a performance that is both incredibly beautiful as well as incredibly funny, Shannon Abbott shares her talents and her insights into the day-to-day life of motherhood. The song exploded on Facebook, receiving over 2.5 million views in a week. “Oh my GOODNESS!!! 2 MILLION VIEWS!!! Unbelievable!” responded the thrilled mom. “I am humbled that this silly little song that I wrote for a silly little talent show in teeny tiny Payson Utah, could bring so much joy to people around the WORLD! It just goes to show that no matter where you are from, or what your background is, we all feel the power of music and the love we have for our sweet children. How blessed we are!&#...

Dear daughter: There will be no periods. Period.

I distinctly remember the first time I got my period. I was with a friend – not a close one – for the weekend in a rustic mountain cabin that had no phone and signs on the toilet that said “If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.” Ewww. There I was. Reaching that developmental milestone with a sort of friend, playing monopoly with her entire family. I hated Monopoly enough, but now it’s intricately woven into the memory of spending an entire weekend with toilet paper in my underwear. It wasn’t much better when my mom picked me up. She immediately dragged me to the drug store to get pads. It was then that I realized she lacked sensitivity. And an indoor voice. They say that girls these days develop much earlier, so, in an effort to avoid similar humiliation for my daugh...

What this funny couple did to stop people pressuring them about kids

They did a photo shoot with their dog and the result was hilarious!

Humor: American Kids Try Breakfasts and School Lunches from Around the World

How would your kids react to sampling lunch staples from India, France, Cuba, Sweden, Kenya, Japan and Afghanistan?  The folks at Cut and Kitchenbowl decided to find out and the results are hilarious–from surprises to disgust!  “I apologize in advance. It looks like a big piece of poo surrounded by corn.” It’s like they were totally interviewing my kids. Inspired by a New York Times article about what kids around the world eat for breakfast, Cut and Kitchenbowl also had kids try out breakfasts from Korea, Brazil, Finland, Vietnam, Poland and the Netherlands. At least they’re (always) honest, right?

10 (Funny) Things I Discovered Camping at Colorado’s Great Sand Dunes

If you’ve never been to the Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve, you should go. If not for any other reason than to say you saw mountains of sand with zero ocean. Located in the San Luis Valley, these are the tallest dunes in North America at 750 feet, covering 19,000 acres of pure unadulterated sand.  Here’s how it happened:Less than 440,000 years ago, glaciers feeding the river and lake that were once over the entire valley, melted very slowly. Water evaporated from them because that’s what happens when things melt. Then, westerly winds—a term I’ve heard more since living in Colorado than any other time in my life—picked up sand particles from the lake and river areas. Which isn’t at all surprising considering how small sand particles are. The w...

The Idiot’s Guide to Understanding English (and Romanian) Idioms

There are some hard-to-learn languages out there: Arabic (tried, and gave up), Hungarian (would rather start all over with Chinese), Farsi, Chinese. Then some lesser challenging languages: Spanish, French or Romanian. Trust me, I know. I speak all of the latter ones fairly fluently. English? Easy by comparison. But what makes it really hard for me to understand, is the logic behind certain English idioms. I am really baffled by homonyms. About three weeks after getting married I was getting a bout of flu. I tried to get my husband to commiserate with me and told him I was feeling sick. When he failed to come up with the right response, I put my hands on my hips, leaned over to him and asked: “Did you hear what I said, I feel obnoxious!!” His swift response: “Honey, I think you mean nauseou...

Teen messes with parents’ phone settings and the hilarious prank goes viral!

Does your child ever feel like the only answer you give him is “no?” Clever 17-year-old Michigan teen Brendan Gatward decided to have some fun by changing the settings in his parents’ phones so they couldn’t type the word “no.” Much to their shock/dismay/horror, their response was quite the opposite (“HELL YES”) when he asked if he could throw a party. Naturally, the confusion was prank poetry — and has gone viral with more than 1.8 million views on imgur since it was uploaded this week.