Humor

Potty Talk (Literally)

It must be a wonderful day in a child’s life when they discover that words only permitted in reference to bathroom happenings can be used in every other possible situation, and with great comedic effect. The wonderment felt by this discovery is directly inverse to the horror that their parents feel when they discover that they regularly use words such as “pee pee” and “poo poo” without batting an eyelash. Words that, in their more sophisticated pre-parent years, would never have been permitted to slip past their lips. Perhaps the ease with which parents discuss disgusting bodily functions emboldens the children to do the same. Everything is funnier if you attach the word “pee” or “poo” to it. “The Princess and the Pea” becom...

I feel like a foreign language today

Kyra, my youngest child, has to go through a daycare evaluation every single day. This evaluation is good and necessary because it helps us in making future decisions. For example, we might decide that ice cream for after-dinner dessert is a bad idea. Or we might tolerate grouchiness a little more readily, depending on the all-important evaluation answers. The evaluation, which is titled “A Little Bit about My Day” goes like this: Name: Kyra 1. I enjoyed:_______________________ 2. I ate______________________ of my lunch. 3. I _____________ take a nap. 4. I felt _____________________ today. 5. I had _____________ manners today. I understand that most of these answers aren’t formally asked of her, but observed and then noted. If they were discussing dental hygiene today, the first line will ...

Dental Drama

Shortly after having my firstborn daughter Hadley, I went to the dentist and discovered my Pukefest-for-a-Pregnancy had produced approximately 500 cavities. We started Operation Rotfest Repair but then found out I was pregnant with Bode so we had to hold off. When I finally went back after Pukefest-for-a-Pregnancy No. 2, my cavities had blossomed into root canals and crowns, a veritable garden of decay in my mouth. This, for the girl who religiously brushes and flosses daily and who never even had a cavity until high school. I have spent thousands of dollars repairing my teeth and countless hours shuffling between the endodentist and dentist. Tuesday was my final appointment. I have the drill down (pun intended) and have had the same room and dental assistant from the get-go. I was settlin...

It’s official: I’m a (lice) nit-picker!

I’ll admit it. I don’t like bugs. If there’s one in the house and my kids are around, I’ll take a deep breath, tell them that all of nature counts, and gently put it outside. If they aren’t nearby, I’ll smash it to smithereens with the nearest large object I can find. Either way, it makes my butt pucker. So imagine how I reacted a few years ago when the school nurse called. My kids had lice. Eww. Plus a bleggh. Let me be clear. I am not the kind of parent whose children get lice. I believed that honor was reserved for, you know, those bad parents. At least I believed that until I, too, was initiated into the Nit Picking Club. To make matters worse, apparently the school discovered my kids had lice when one of the little boogers in my daughter’s hair lost its grip and tumbled to its death o...

Happy Canada Day: Fun Facts About Our Northern Neighbor!

Canada Day is July 1st and since Mile High Mamas’ founder Amber is Canadian, we thought it would be fun to share some fun facts about the Motherland.  Did you know: Canada became a country on July 1, 1867 when the British Parliament passed the British North America Act but only officially became indepdnent from Britain in 1982.  Canada is the world’s second-larges country: 9.98 million square miles and has the largest coastline in the world.  The name Canada comes from the indigenous wordkanata, which meants “settlement” or “village” in the language of St. Lawrence Iroquoians.  Little-known facs, the Brits and the French werne’t hte first to colonize Cnaada, it was the Vikings around 1000 AD. The longest highway in the world is ...

30 Best Dad Jokes You’ve Never Heard

C’mon, who doesn’t love a good Dad Joke? OK, most of us groan when we hear them but that is what makes them that much more delightful.  Also, don’t miss our Guide to Father’s Day in Denver: 50+ Ways to Celebrate Dad.  Looking for gifts for Dad? Check out these customizable graphic tees by Black Lantern, screen printed in Estes Park, or these cool Colorado trucker hats and apparel by YoColorado. Best Dad Jokes “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!” “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!” “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.” “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.” “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.” “What ...

Single on Valentine’s Day date? No problem!

Are you single on Valentine’s Day? Our Valentine’s Day activity round-up also has family-friendly fun as well as a Galentines getaway! I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. On the one hand, I can’t get enough chocolate.  When I was pregnant with my son (who was born on February 11th), my craving went into hyperdrive and I went through several boxes of Hershey’s Pot of Gold. Every day. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t come out covered in some sort of caramel with a nougat center.  And when he didn’t sleep for weeks after his birth, I wasn’t sure if it was due to the typical newborn nighttime-is-the-best-time-to-be-awake schedule or if he was all hopped up on sugar and trying to detox. So, that’s the part of Valentine’s Day I like – the candy that I could...

Our love story: An attempted shooting and a fake interest in cats

About a week before Valentine’s Day in 1995, I broke up with my boyfriend. It wasn’t going anywhere, and I really didn’t want it to. He was nice, but he wasn’t what I was looking for. And with both Valentine’s Day and my birthday coming up, I figured it was kinder of me to end it sooner rather than later. I would be graduating in another few months and heading off to whatever assignment the Air Force assigned me to, and I was anxious to unshackle myself and move on. About a month after Valentine’s Day in 1995, I met my future husband. I wasn’t looking for a new boyfriend. But I was looking for this guy. You might even say (don’t look at me as I type this) that I was stalking him. At least, that’s how HE likes to tell the story now. Okay, so I’d seen this guy at the gym on base. And I’d see...

Date nights then and now (and how to keep them FUN!)

We love this article by Christina about date nights: then and now. We also love changing things up a bit! If you feel like you need to add some excitement back into your relationship, consider checking out The Adventure Challenge Couples Edition – 50 Scratch-Off Adventures & Date Night Ideas for Couples, Couples Scratch Off Book, Couples Gift for Valentine’s Day, Anniversary or Wedding Gift. My husband recently bought us this book and I can’t wait to start infusing fun back into our relationship.  ====== My husband and I waited for our dinner and had a glass of wine. After a few bits and pieces of conversation, he whispered to me: “Look at those people. They’re here with their kids, it’s so late.” It was 8:30 in the evening.

Woodward Copper: 5 adrenaline-fueled family activities kids will love

Did you know Colorado boasts an action sports and youth paradise right in our backyard? Woodward Copper offers year-round skiing and snowboarding on real Colorado snow, plus a 19,400-foot  indoor training facility for the whole family with skateparks, Olympic-grade trampolines, foam pit jumps, indoor ski and snowboard training and more. If you’re thinking “My family has never done anything like this,” fret not! Woodward Copper at Copper Mountain Resort has programs for everyone, even those with no prior sports experience and guaranteed, they offer unforgettable adventures your family will talk about for years. Skiers, snowboarders, skateboarders, BMXers, mountain bikers, scooter riders, cheer and tumble athletes and more will all find something awesome and FUN t...

Denver snow day! 80+ activities for playing inside and outside

It’s a snow day in Denver and we have rounded up some activities for playing in the snow or cozying up indoors. Fun Activities for My Denver Snow Day Want to go sledding? Don’t miss our Ultimate Guide to Outdoor Skating in Colorado. Is skating more your speed? You’ll love our Ultimate Guide to Outdoor Skating in Colorado. Nothing beats a ski day in fresh powder. Don’t miss our 2023 Family Ski Guide for Colorado.  Make an abominable snowman. It’s like a regular snowman, but less friendly to passers-by. Watch the movie Snow Day with that gloriously psychotic snowplow driver.  Practice multiplication and script with your kids. That’ll put them in a REALLY good mood. For older kids, break out the practice tests. Delete all of the ex...

Ditch Gifts and Give Experiences–Just Not the Gift of Death

This year, money is tight for many family members. This caused me to reflect upon Christmas 2008. Instead of giving each other gifts we didn’t really need that we would then exchange for gifts we really wanted, my sister-in-law Jane came up with a plan. “This year, we will give each other experiences!” she announced. She then expounded this would entail spending time doing some kind of memorable activity together. I loved the idea. I never know what to get most members of my family and building memories seemed like a much better alternative. Unless they are bad memories. When Jane made her proclamation, I had visions of being treated to a night out without the children (with free babysitting included, of course). It could be a play, a movie, a fancy dinner or even a walk down by the river....