There was recently an online discussion regarding what to say when a parent loses a child. So many of us are at a loss for words, but I loved my friend Loralee’s response:
“I’ve lost a son and have talked to probably thousands of grieving people at this point in the 20 years since he died.
“So many things that will help one person will absolutely hurt another. I have learned that the very safest thing to say is ‘I know how much you loved and will miss them, and I wish more than anything that you were not going through this. And if you’re close to them add: “I love you and I will always love and remember (departed person).’
“And just talk about the one they lost. Relay something you loved about their loved one, Tell a story about them maybe about how they helped you or that was meaningful or funny or uniquely them, or just say what you will miss about them.
“Another tip is that everybody wants to do something right at the death or around the funeral time. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do that but a lot of times grieving people are overwhelmed with an outpouring of love and that is wonderful. But then everybody goes back to their everyday lives and the grieving person is still…grieving.
“That’s when I tell people to show up. Be there. Take them to lunch or dinner. Go for a walk. keep mentioning their loved one. Don’t make them feel like there’s a time limit to their grief. Just show up. It will mean a lot.”
Author: Mile High Mamas
