I recently learned about dialectal thinking — the idea that two seemingly opposite things can both be true at the same time.
The goal is to shift from saying things like:
“I really want to be there for my sick child today BUT I have to be at work for meetings.”
To something like:
“I absolutely love being there for my children when they need me AND I also really need to be there for these commitments at work.”
When you use “but” in your statements and thoughts, it negates the entire first part of the sentence.
For instance, in the first statement, using the “but” makes it seem like taking care of business is more important to you than taking care of your child.
And we all know that’s not true!
I’m beginning to believe that this type of limiting thinking is what causes “mom guilt”.
My hope (and I encourage you all the do the same) is to start replacing your “buts” with “ands”.
Here are a few more examples:
– “I’m so excited about my new promotion AND I’m nervous about how it might impact the hours I’m able to spend at home.”
– “I’d love to start my own business and focus on a career AND I’m looking forward to raising children.”
– “I enjoy being at home with my kids AND I’m really looking forward to the work trip my boss planned next month for my team.”
Whatever your “AND” statements are, you’re doing a great job!
It’s ok to love work.
it’s ok to miss your kids while working.
It’s ok to love being home with your kids.
And it’s ok to wish you were able to get out of the house more when you’re with them.
Kids are exhausting. Working is exhausting.
Kids are amazing. Working is amazing.
It’s all true.
And for all you leaders, managers, and bosses out there, your role is to find ways to help the women in your organization (and all other employees for that matter) honor their truths.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk! 
…and thanks to my whole team at Thread for allowing me to be the mom I want to be AND the business owner I want to be!
-McKenzie Bauer is the founder of Thread Wallets, slim minimalistic wallets to fit any lifestyle.
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. While clicking these links won’t cost you extra money, they help us keep this site up and running. See our disclosure policy.
Author: Mile High Mamas
