The other day our family sat down to eat dinner out on our patio and my daughter left the door open so our dog got out.
It was no big deal. He ran right back in after being called.
But when my daughter sat down with us, she asked, “Was that my fault? Did I leave the door open?”
In a soft voice, I said, “It doesn’t need to be anyone’s fault. It can just be something that happened–a mistake or an accident.”
“Well, I’m sorry,” she said.
“It’s OK, honey,” I said. “I just don’t want this to be a house where we blame all the time…where accidents turn into shame. There’s no reason for that.”
The family kind of looked at me like, “Man, why’s Mom always gotta be so deep.”
But it’s true.
So many times things like spilled milk end up making people feel shameful. This, in turn, makes the big stuff feel REALLY big.
So, when the kids become teenagers, there’s no way in hell they’ll come to us when they mess up.
I mean, who would voluntarily be filled with shame for simply making a mistake?
To be alive is to grow.
At any age.
We’re all going to mess up. Sometimes big. Sometimes small.
If we focused less on shame and more on moving forward, our world would be a much gentler place.
So, let’s let gentleness win.”
-Angela Anagnost-Repke
Author: Mile High Mamas
