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I See You Mom

“I See You”: A note to the unappreciated mom

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I’ve been home with my non-covid sick son this week. One day, he wanted to make himself some lunch, so he put some tomato soup and some milk in a saucepan, turned the heat on high, and left the kitchen.

I moved quickly to the kitchen when I heard the soup boiling over on the stove.

I cleaned up the mess (he was sick or he would have done it), and it got me thinking. Here is this mess, which nobody saw, that I would clean up, which also nobody would see. It made me think of my mom, who has always kept a spotless house. How many messes has she thanklessly cleaned? How many days, years, has she spent cleaning and tidying, cooking and dusting, scrubbing and washing and ironing, with little to no appreciation and acknowledgment?

How many other parents are out there, doing the same thing?

I wondered if lack of acknowledgment is what leads to dissatisfaction in the home, in relationships, at work. Oh, I don’t expect a “thank you” for every mess I clean, every nose I wipe, every floor I sweep. But at work, the things I do are tangible, I can see the progress, and people visibly benefit from what I do there. That soup mess on the stove? Nobody knew it was there. The stove was just as clean after as it was before. Someone benefits, they just don’t realize that they do. It seems that after a while when the home is kept at a certain level of cleanliness, for example, it becomes expected. To the point that the lack of cleanliness is what is noticed, therefore criticized, rather than the daily cleanliness being appreciated.

I think that most people, to varying degrees, want to be seen. Some by someone, some by everyone, seldom or always, but they want to be seen. And Appreciated.

To all you mothers, doing your best for your kids while cooking the meals, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, and keeping your sanity—I see you.

To all the fathers, doing the same thing and getting told how nice it is that you babysit your kids—I see you.

To all of you out there holding down jobs, trying your best to provide for yourself and those that you love, while maintaining some sort of balance in your lives—I see you.

To the folks out of work or retired, trying to figure out how to fill your time, or marveling that you are still so busy even without a job—I see you.

To the kids, and the young folks, trying to navigate this world full of lock-down drills, pandemics, social media—I see you.

I see you on the streets, in tents, in the cold. You are in your homes, in your cars, at your desk, and at work. You are in your own world walking down the sidewalk, in your yard, at the park, getting groceries. I see you.

The question I am asking is……Who am I not seeing? Every day in my life, what do I not see?

Kat is a Colorado mom of one and writes at Kat’s Corner Hearth

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