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Candy taxes: Is it stealing or entitlement?

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I have some bad news for parents who claim a “candy tax” by taking a portion of their kids’ Halloween candy: THEY ARE ONTO US.

A few years ago, we went to our church’s Halloween party and my kids came home with bucket loads of treats. For the most part, I let them have at it but started putting on the brakes the next day. After all, they have to save their gluttony for The Main Event on Wednesday.

I made a healthy dinner with the one thing my 8-year-old daughter abhors most: eggs. She usually chokes them down but we are entering the tween moody stage (hurray!) and she suddenly thinks she should have a say.

I don’t know when she started thinking this was a democracy, not a dictatorship.

My husband and I have never forced our kids to eat everything on their plates but usually have a bare minimum. If they choose not to eat, they don’t get any food the rest of the night. Period.

So, I gave her our usual ultimatum that she needed to eat five bites and told her I’d later throw in some candy for good measure. But, she’s a stubborn little miss and declared she’d rather go hungry.

That’s when I pulled out the big guns.

I grabbed her bag of candy and started deliberately and methodically eating it. Steam started erupting from her ears and her temperature rose as fast as a thermometer in boiling water.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” she spewed.

“Taking candy taxes,” I calmly responded. “For every minute you sit here, I’m going to have another piece of candy. Oh, look–Butterfinger. Isn’t that your favorite?”


Let’s keep her little revelation just between us.

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