Dad jokes. Cringe-worthy, yes. But also pretty darn funny! We’ve pulled together a handful of our favorites but the question is when does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can’t remember… I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife.
And we’ll just keep right on going….
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- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
- My daughter screeched, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to one word I’ve said, have you!?” What a strange way to start a conversation with me…
- When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the ‘no-bell’ prize.
- I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
- I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
- I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!
- I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.
- You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
- Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.
- What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impacts.
- Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
- Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.And, my personal favorite? When my dad-in-training son was asked to tell a joke in front of a large crowd in a ski line, this was his gem:
- “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
Heaven help us all.
Author: Mile High Mamas
