Custody Battles in the Time of COVID-19
posted by: Mile High Mamas
Protecting Your Family Through the Toughest Times
It may seem obvious, but you need to think about your child’s best interests when going through your custody arrangements. In a time where your children might not have any buffer between them and their parents’ personal lives, you will need to be even more sensitive than usual. We’ve seen a lot of divorces through our firm, and not all of them were pleasant or collaborative, and none of them would be made easier by a stay-at-home order.
Of the messy divorces we’ve handled, some of the most difficult arguments we’ve seen are related to custody arrangements. The thing is, not all the parents we’ve negotiated with and argued with are bad parents. In fact, a lot of them are great and loving parents. In times such as these, when your entire case may be up in the air and tensions may be running even higher than usual, it’s especially important to be empathetic. You might be stuck at home with the very spouse or ex-spouse that you have been arguing with, increasing the stress on your child.
Right now, we are in a stressful situation. From our experiences, stresses and situational tensions often bring out couples’ ugly sides, making them want to deny their co-parent as many rights as possible. Sometimes this is justified if the other parent has proven themself to be dangerous. But most of the time it hurts the child more to be separated from their parent.
This is why it’s important to take an outside view of your agreement. How will your child see it? Is your child going to get the time they need with both parents? Is the child currently separated from one of their parents due to quarantine? What can you do to make this process easier for them?
Colorado’s custody laws are quite clear in the fact that they want the best for the child, and you should too. Take a moment and seriously consider the benefits both you and your ex-spouse bring to your child’s life. Chances are they’re adding something to your child’s life and chances are a nasty custody dispute is going to be more damaging than either of you intend. If you can, try and take this time to notice the role they play in your child’s life, and the impact taking that away would have.
In all honesty, our advice on family law cases is changing quickly. If you are in an ending marriage and are looking for the most painless options, we have seen a lot of success for couples pursuing collaborative divorces. These are divorces that follow specific guidelines to expedite and de-escalate the process.Not only are these divorce often faster and more painless, they require less time in court, time which may be drastically extended as courts close and take fewer cases. We’ve also witnessed firsthand how this process has shown children of divorce that amicable solutions can be found for even the most personal disagreements.
As family lawyers, we are often on the front line of conflicts. We often see the very direct impacts of parental conflicts on children, and the best way we’ve found to mitigate these impacts is by finalizing the process as quickly as possible. If you are worried about disruptions to your case, contact your lawyer to learn about how you can keep your case moving remotely. By reducing the amount of time the family spends in legal limbo, you’re giving your child more time to adjust to their new life.
Divorce is never easy, which is why we wrote the Colorado Guide to Divorce. The Guide is a resource that can help you understand the process. Finding a child custody arrangement that everybody is happy with is an added challenge. But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. As you can see by the countless amazing mothers on this website, being a parent is about so much more than the person you had your child with. It’s about your dedication to your child’s wellbeing.
In partnership with Mile High Mamas