What’s your family’s love language?
posted by: Amber Johnson
My husband Jamie and I are different.
Sure, in many ways we think alike, have the same interests and similar methodology with raising our children.
But we go about life very differently. He is low-key. Methodical. Wise.
I am not.
One of the areas in which we are most different is how we need to connect. I am physical. I crave affection. My son Bode is the same whereas my Hadley barely likes to be touched. Jamie is somewhere in the middle.
We both work from home and in such a setting, you would think we see each other all day. This is not the case and he often spends most of the day (and sometimes the evening) holed up in his basement den.
At the conclusion of one such day, I desperately wanted to snuggle up and just talk to him.
He just wanted to unwind by watching TV.
Like an annoying younger sibling I kept pressing him for conversation while his eyes remained glued on the television. Finally, exasperated he said, “You know you talk too much.”
“But I just want to talk to you tonight,” I sulked.
“I AM talking to you,” he professed.
“Oh really? About what?”
“About not talking to me.”
Your Love Language
Everyone has a different way of showing love to one another. A few years ago, a friend introduced me to Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. According to him, there are five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive, which are:
*Words of Affirmation
*Acts of Service
The key is identifying which of the love languages you most embrace in your life and recognizing which ones most resonate in others.
Dr. Chapman has a short online quiz for adults, children, teens and singles that helps with the identification process. The 5 Love Languages is not just about solidifying romantic relationships.
In fact, in going through the quiz for my children, I recognized how differently they respond to and need affection. My son was easy to figure out because we both love to snuggle. My daughter’s love language, however, is not physical touch and after taking the quiz, I realized she responds best to positive words of affirmation. This knowledge has helped me become a better mother because I understand how to fulfill each child’s individual needs.
So, be sure to head over to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ and take the 30-question quiz and report back. The results may just surprise you…and help with your relationships.
Happy Valentine’s Day!