Another day, another snowstorm.
If you want to stay closer to home, here are 50 ways to spend a snow day:
Make an abominable snowman. It’s like a regular snowman, but less friendly to passers-by.
Practice multiplication and script with your kids. That’ll put them in a REALLY good mood. For older kids, break out the practice tests.
Delete all of the expletive-laden “music” from your teenager’s Spotify playlist on the family computer, while she’s not looking.
Make snow ice cream, slushies or ‘tinis. Harvest icicles for the latter.
Fill squirt bottles with water and food coloring and make art on the snow. Let your dog help out.
Trudge around town for a store that hasn’t sold out on sleds.
Wash the floors by hand. Or use a toothbrush.
Do that mending and ironing you’ve been putting off since 2004.
Groom the dog. Then suck all the fur off your couch.
Make freeze-ahead dinners. The ones you wish you had right now.
Go rooftop luging.
Get kids the Lil’ Capt. Robert Scott Antarctic Expedition playset.
Shovel through piles of climate change theories.
Shred your pile of old documents. Better yet, multitask. Use them to light up the fireplace.
Change the batteries in the smoke detectors, since you forgot during Fall Back.
Play Monopoly with the rules that make the game go slower.
Go through your junk drawer. Do not be afraid.
Clean your silverware and jewelry. Alternatively, pine for silverware and jewelry worth cleaning.
Sort mementos into keep and toss piles. Spend time poring over the keepers—after all, that’s why you’re keeping them.
Make a master calendar for gift-giving dates. Shop ahead online. Or for yourself. Pretend there are sales.
Invite over neighbors and children you rarely see for a potluck dinner.
Make a list of all the things you love about your significant other for a card or scrapbook. Make stuff up if you have to.
Actually use those cross-country skis, or skates or showshoes you were always planning to try out after a big snow. C’mon, you can do it!
Put on your fanciest evening dress and jewelry, grab your cocktail and pretend you’re in an old movie. That sounds a lot better than, “Sit around your house and get wasted.”
Scan old photos and make a photo book. Then force the kids to look at pictures of their parents when they were little.
Do your taxes! April 15 only feels far off.
Chug a shot and break open your financial portfolio.
Order seeds and plants for your spring garden. Yes, spring will come eventually.
Update your resume. Hey, it’s better than doing it at work and leaving it in the copying machine.
Go through clothes (for you and your children) in drawers and closet. Try on and toss.
Upload your CDs, finally. Now, this may be difficult: Toss the CDs and the CD player.
Take out all the beach chairs, umbrellas and boogie boards and make a beach day in the snow.
Collect all the pennies from the corners of the house, coat pockets, sofa cushions, jeans in the laundry. Maybe you’ll have enough for a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Then again, maybe not.
Write a letter. You know the kind, with pen and paper.
Make snowflakes out of paper. Tape them to your windows to block out the white piles outside.
Teach haiku—five, seven, five—and make a book of illustrated snow haiku.
Create airfare alerts for deals to your dream destinations.
Play this fun game with your kids: Let’s Clean the Bathroom!
You know that neighbor who won’t stop blasting music? That’s where your shoveled snow goes.
Play family-friendly spin the bottle with your chore list. Hope it doesn’t point to you when it’s time to clean toilets.
Mani-pedi, scrub or mask, deep condition. You choose the body parts.
Bubble bath. Turn down the lights, light a candle and pretend you’re in a spa. Doesn’t do it for you? It’s not completely impossible that a real one is open.
Experiment all day on devising the ultimate chocolate chip cookie. Tasting mandatory.
Begin your memoirs.
Take pictures of all your belongings to inventory for insurance. Now do a written inventory.
Sleep. Glorious sleep.
Send hate mail to your friends and relatives in warm-weather places. Or block them on Facebook.6
Look at Florida real estate online, so you never have to read this again.