Share This Post

fatherhood / Humor

Happy Father’s Day! 30 dad jokes so bad they’re good

Happy Father’s Day! 30 dad jokes so bad they’re good

We love our dads…and we love dad jokes. 

Here’s to celebrating all of the wonderful fathers in our lives!

  • “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”
  • “My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!”
  • “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.”
  • “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
  • “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”
  • “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.”
  • “Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!”
  • “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
  • “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
  • “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”
  • “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”
  • “Dad, can you put the cat out?” “I didn’t know it was on fire.”
  • How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
  • “I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.”
  • “Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!”
  • “When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.”
  • “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
  • “What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.”
  • To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word.
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
  • If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
  • “I’ll call you later.” Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can’t remember… I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife…

Happy Father’s Day!

Love,

The Mamas

 

 

Amber Johnson
Author: Amber Johnson

Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

Share This Post

Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

Leave a Reply