“‘I’m fat.’ Those are just two little words, five letters in total, but coming from your daughter, they’re enough to make your heart totally sink. How could a girl who’s typically so kind and accepting of others be so disparaging of herself?” According to the Girl Scouts, 80% of 10-year-old girls are afraid of being fat because “they’re constantly surrounded by both subtle and direct messages that curvier or heavier girls aren’t as well liked, aren’t as likely to succeed in business, and in general, aren’t going to have as much fun or happiness in their lives.” So what can parents do to counteract such widespread cultural messages? In an insightful article, Girl Scout Developmental Psychologist Andrea Bastiani Archibald offers parents several tips on how to respond when your daughter says she’s fat and how to build her overall body positivity.
While many parents initial instinct is to counter such a statement from their daughter by declaring “Don’t be silly! You’re beautiful!”, Archibald says this response may do more harm than good: “If she really sees her body in a certain way, simply telling her to stop seeing it that way isn’t going to help much,” she explains. This response can also reinforce the message that fatter or heavier bodies aren’t beautiful. Instead, teaching her that there are “endless ways to be beautiful” — from body shape to hair texture to skin color — will help her grow up with a healthier relationship to her body and encourage her not to define beauty in a single, rigid way.
A better approach to hearing “I’m fat,” Archibald says, is to ask her “why do you think you’re fat?” Is she noticing clothes fit differently, or reacting to body changes of puberty? Girls need to know that it’s normal for her body to change as she grows, and also that it’s okay for that to mean that she needs a different size of clothing than she used to wear. She advises parents to keep in mind that it’s natural for their daughter to notice how body types differ and to acknowledge that she will have differences in body shape and size compared to her friends.
Read more at “A Mighty Girl” about body positivity and awesome resources for your girls.
Photo: A Mighty Girl
Author: Mile High Mamas
