When is the best time to talk with your kids about sex? Forget about waiting for the right time: there is no perfect time. The answer is all the time/any time. The trick is making sure that the message reflects your values, contains correct information and that what you are saying is age appropriate.
So, what does age appropriate mean? As a parent, you can assume that you know your child better than anyone else. A safe approach is to answering any question is to first ask child what he or she already knows. Their response will inform you if they have real information or are misinformed. Then give limited, brief responses. Avoid giving so much information that your child’s eyes begin to glaze over. Then wait till the next question is asked before you provide more details.
SmartSexapp gives some guidelines to gauge how much information and detail your child might want or need about sex and relationships. Because each child is different and has unique experiences, we emphasize that these are only guidelines. Trust your parental intuition about what is appropriate. Your comfort level is the final guidepost. To find complete guide please download the FREE SmartSex app, tap Smart Info, then Sex Topics and scroll to Parents-General Guides on the list. Here are top tips for specific age groups:
Infancy: Birth to two years – Parents should be aware that children at this early period are already forming views about their bodies. You, the parent, are providing cues about what is an acceptable or shameful about the body. Attitudes are forming about nudity, bowel movements and ways of showing affection. Children are observing the manner of touch/affection that is exchanged between their parents and the way the parents touch and treat them. All methods of communication are being observed and ‘normal’ is being established.
- Early childhood: Two to five years old – Children begin to understand the very basics of reproduction: a man and a woman make a baby together, and the baby grows in the woman’s uterus. Explanations of reproduction are often given with examples about animals: birds/eggs, mammals/live birth and even earth worms! Don’t be afraid to explain.
- Middle childhood: Five to eight years old – It is time to introduce the basics of puberty towards the end of this age span. Children may experience some signs of body changes before age 10 or notice signs in others. Explain to them what is happening with the body.
- Tween years: Nine to 12 years old – Tweens are beginning to judge whether depictions of sex and sexuality in the media are true or false, realistic or not, and whether they are positive or negative. Discussion opportunities abound to you should face head on!
- Teenagers: 13 to 18 years old – Be open to many questions about relationships, homosexuality and contraception. Be available to talk about safe sex and the exploration of this chapter in their lives. It may be helpful to do research with them and tackle tough topics together.
The SmartSexapp provides you with appropriate age guidelines, a list of commonly asked questions, information about safe touch and much more. Free Downloads @ iTunes #SmartSexapp!
Author: Julie Bielenberg
Julie is a mama of three who travels in search of fields, farms, families and more. Sometimes . . . she finds herself in often uncovered, or understated locales, which has since become her niche.
