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Humor / Motherhood

A motherhood warning: don’t say it out loud!

A motherhood warning: don’t say it out loud!

Tell me this hasn’t happened to you: you are sound asleep…the house is quiet…the sun is far from up…you have to pee…you decide to remain uncomfortable, knowing if you get out of bed, someone will pitter patter into the bathroom and start asking you to do stuff for them…you crack an eye open to check the clock, see it’s 5 a.m., snap your eye closed willing yourself comfortable enough to get at least an hour more of sleep…pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter “Mommy, I’m hungry.”…and your day has officially begun! Hey, at least you can pee now.

Since my kids were babies I’ve experienced this phenomenon and talked with many parents who know exactly what I mean. My children have some sort of sixth sense, alerting them the moment I emerge from sleep. Maybe when my brain leaves the dream world and enters the fog-filled entrance of the real world, the air shifts just enough to wake them up. Maybe the opening of my eyelid creates a slight breeze, I don’t know. Whatever the reason, it’s happened more than once and doesn’t seem coincidental. I’m not one to believe in anything I can’t see but I’m telling you, it’s spooky.

Adding another layer to this mystery, a few weeks ago I was putting the kids to bed and in a weak, quiet moment my brain had the audacity to think to itself “Man, I can’t believe it but we haven’t been sick this year—not one runny nose!” I know, I know but it happened so fast I didn’t have time to take it back although believe me, I tried. Wouldn’t you freaking know it, three hours later I heard terrible coughing coming from the kid’s room and three weeks later we’re all still hacking away. At one point between then and now an all-night stomach bug attack was thrown in for extra charm.

I’m not sure what the moral is here. After learning the hard way, I’ve become really good at harnessing the “DON’T say that out loud” tendency but how in the world am I supposed to stop those pesky thoughts from popping in uninvited? I guess I have to learn to live in the “getting sick builds their immune system” camp and embrace it but I’ll consider it more seriously when puke learns to clean itself up.

Until then I guess I’ll work on training my thoughts to think things like “You know what? I really like being broke. If someone gave me a million dollars tomorrow I’d be so bummed.” You know, test the theory. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Sarah Stith lives in Boulder with her husband and 2 children (4 and 6).  Before moving to Colorado, the family lived in Brooklyn, NY where Sarah worked as a dresser at The Lion King on Broadway.  She is the founder of Raising Little Heroes, a group devoted to finding volunteer opportunities for families with young children.

Mile High Mamas
Author: Mile High Mamas

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3 Comments

  1. I’m a big fan of knocking on wood…and always having that thing happen. It’s like knocking on wood opens it up to fate. 🙂

  2. Toooooooo true!

  3. Yes! The exact same thing happens at our house. Although it is usually my husband getting up before the boys and as he is leaving the room, I will with all my might that he won’t even make a creak. Then I cringe when I hear a door squeak.
    I’ve also taken up the idea of positive thinking so that I truly believe in my heart that “we are not getting sick” or “the boys will be fine during the 2 hour drive” after reading an article about it in the New York Times and it works!

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