Share This Post

Holidays / Humor

Funny Quiz: Are You Honoring Your New Year’s Resolutions?

By gretchen on 14 Comments
Funny Quiz: Are You Honoring Your New Year’s Resolutions?

1. You vowed to give up sugar. While taking this quiz, you will jot down your answers with:

a. A pencil
b. You’ll remember your answers
c. Your finger dipped in chocolate syrup

2. In 2013, you were going to start running. How many times have you laced up your shoes and gone?

a. Huh? I’m licking my score sheet.
b. Over ten and it’s only January 15th.
c. More than once.

3. You vowed to quit a bad habit cold turkey. Have you slipped-up? Which statement applies?

a. I stopped my bad habit at the stroke of midnight and haven’t looked back.
b. There was some turkey. It was cold and there’s nothing like a turkey sandwich with havarti, tomato, lettuce, mayo, and dill mustard on a croissant.
c. I revisited my bad habit because my bad habit happens to be using chocolate syrup as ink. My kid’s teachers hate when I sign permission slips and forget writing checks. Thanks a lot, quizmaster.

4. After careful thought and consideration, you decided to stop taking inane internet quizzes in 2013. Are you proud of your record so far?

a. Yes
b. No

5. To help you kick your smoking habit to the curb, you are using these tools:

a. Frigid outdoor temperatures combined with peer pressure and guilt, enhanced by high tobacco prices
b. A jumpsuit fashioned out of nicotine patches
c. The time-honored method of replacing one bad habit with another. Is that a bootleg Twinkie?

6. You vowed to take your business to new heights this year. This means:

a. Finding investors
b. Seeing your new product on store shelves by the end of summer, just in time for Christmas
c. Using an airplane lavatory at least once

7. You resolved to cut back on screen/electronic device time. It makes you feel…

a. Uneasy, so that’s why you’re here taking a dumb quiz. You’ll do almost anything for a fix.
b. Smug and exhilarated. You aren’t really taking this quiz. It’s your toddler, who dug the smartphone out of your bag.
c. …Like making an anti-screen time motivational poster to pin at Pinterest and share at Facebook.

8. True or False: The effects of smoking are negated if done while in certain yoga poses, like the Crane Pose, for example.

9. You believe in small resolutions, like simply making your bed daily. Which statement best describes your thoughts about your bed at this moment:

a. It’s perfectly made, with jaunty throw pillows in place and fresh sheets ready for tonight’s deep slumber.
b. I’m in it.
c. And I just got chocolate syrup all over the flat sheet.

10. Your resolution was to not make a resolution. Have you kept it?

a. No, I felt oddly compelled to make an empty vow to an echoing chamber anyway and I’m not sure why. Can someone tell me why?
b. Yes, I am a success! The status quo will reign in 2013.
c. Wait. If I made a resolution to not make a resolution, then I actually did make a resolution, which means I failed at not making a resolution. So everyone I know who proudly proclaimed resolutions are foolish and pointless actually made a resolution by broadcasting their intention to not make a resolution? Resolving to not resolve is still resolving. Whoa.

Scoring:

If you answered mostly As, Bs, or Cs, you just took an internet quiz created by someone wholly without credentials to create personal insight quizzes.

gretchen
Author: gretchen

Share This Post

Related Articles

14 Comments

  1. This. Is. Hilarious. My favorite: the airplane lavatory. Caught me laughing out loud on that one!

  2. Best. quiz. ever.

  3. I love you.

  4. Where is the camera that you’ve hidden in my house?

  5. You take a blog quiz and find out you are
    a. a reality TV star
    b. a hoarder
    c. a millionaire
    d. none of the above

  6. I love this. Gave me a morning giggle.

  7. You always crack me up Gretchen 🙂

  8. see?! This is why I don’t set new years resolutions…i could never give up sugar….*licks fingers, licks keyboard*

  9. THIS is how you manage so well with a team of children! Humor! Lots of it! Cheers to status quo!

  10. Gretchen – You are a riot! And no, I could never give up sugar.

  11. #7 is my favorite!

  12. Funny!!!!
    Now I am craving chocolate

  13. LOL! I will never look at an Internet or magazine quiz the same again.

    BTW, my resolution is to figure a way to do a one-handed Crane pose. Easier to hold a ciggy that way 😉

  14. Why is it all 2013? My resolution was to begin 2015 on Jan 1. So far, so good.

Leave a Reply