“Hey, Sam!” the group of boys yelled at my son as he climbed in our van after school.
He turned, “Yeah?”
One of them asked, “Is that your mom or your daycare?”
“My mom.”
The three boys started laughing. Sam shrugged and climbed into his seat, having no idea why someone would confuse his mother for a daycare. The side of our van doesn’t sport a phone number and stick figure children promising quality care for ages 6 weeks to 12 years.
That wasn’t the first time I’ve been mistaken for a daycare provider. Our furnace broke several years ago. The repairman filled out the invoice at our kitchen table. He paused, looked around, and said, “Is this a daycare?”
Oh, how I laughed.
Why would anybody purposely have that many children under one roof? I’ll tell you.
It’s for the birthdays.
We get to celebrate 9 birthdays here each calendar year. We start out with a bang right after Christmas with two birthdays in January. The pace slows, but it makes the March and early-June birthdays welcome days of celebration. July is awesome because we get cake a mere 5 days apart. Then September, October, and December are bright and twinkly with flickering candles too.
Yes, I welcomed each new little one who came along for the buttercream.
Of course, this can’t be farther from the truth. The reasons people have big families are numerous. One thing I can say on behalf of all moms of many children is we don’t take our decision lightly. The responsibility can be unwieldy and cumbersome at times but the challenges are usually met by people who intelligently consider the ramifications.
We don’t have big families so we can form rock groups, star in reality shows, build a sports team, drive large vehicles, get into heaven, or because there’s nothing on TV.
We don’t have big families to ruin the environment, steal water, burn fuels, or take advantage of Kids Eat Free Night at Denny’s.
I can only speak for myself when I say I have a big family because I discovered a secret. It is an incredible gift to watch the exponential in action. Each member has a unique relationship with every other person in the family. Each child has learned from an early age that love has no capacity. A new child coming home is a source of delight, curiousity, and excitement. There is room for everyone, even when the kitchen table seems especially elbow-y and someone has to sit on the floor for the Friday night movie.
And guess what? Eventually, your birthday will be next.
Along the way, enjoy the buttercream.
I do.
Author: gretchen
JoAnn
What a great post, Gretchen! I always like taking a peek into a totally different family life from our own. Thanks for sharing! Oh, and thanks for making me want cake for breakfast. 😉
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Megan@SortaCrunchy
And here I was thinking it was for the Denny’s free meals all along. Thanks for clearing it up for me.
Plus, in your case, you and your hubby make such GORGEOUS children that it would be a crime not to keep adding more, right? So really, you are serving humanity with all of the loveliness.
Minnesotamom
I had the same thing to say to Husband after this birth: Never. Again.
But God had different plans (Markus was not tried for, but he was prayed for), and who knows? He may just give us a surprise blessing again! I just wish there were an easier way… 😉
Annisa
Aw what a sweet post!
Heather of the EO
Wait. You don’t want your own reality show?
Love your humor.
Buttercream, it is.
(and also, thank you for your comment…it’s good to be understood. Hope my tweet didn’t make it sound like people are clueless…it just seemed from the comments most people thought it was solely about sledding. Which would be fine…I’ll stop talking now.)
Amber Johnson
LOVE this. We all have our reasons but I think yours is the very best. 🙂
Amber Johnson
P.S. Great. Now I’m craving buttercream.
Lori in Denver
“I can only speak for myself when I say I have a big family because I discovered a secret. It is an incredible gift to watch the exponential in action. Each member has a unique relationship with every other person in the family. Each child has learned from an early age that love has no capacity.”
Love love love this, Gretchen.
Makes me want to put my elbows around your table.
Kelly @ Love Well
Speaking as someone who has buttercream-topped cupcakes on top of her fridge right this very moment, I heartily agree. The exponential effect is amazing to behold. I love watching my children interact and grow in ways they wouldn’t if they didn’t have each other.
(By the way, does four kids mean we fit the large-family definition? I’m not sure of the rules these days.)
ShackelMom
Amen! I loved raising seven kids, but it was something we had good reasons for. One idea we had, and we were right, is that our kids would learn to live as part of a community. They shared space, learned to respect people and property and enjoy being part of something larger than themselves. They are adults now, and I love to see how well they contribute to the communities they are a part of.
small houses
I like your post! I ask the playmates of my kids on how they are like at home so that I know what kind of kids my children are playing with.
Christine
Great Post! We have been confused for a daycare a few times and on more than one occasion a shuttle bus where people at the airport tried to jump in the van with my kids and have us “take them to the Hyatt” lol lol I love buttercream also, maybe that is why we had a lot of kids!
Megan
Love this post! I love how they’ve learned “love has no capacity.” Maybe we’ll be having more…
Heth
This is beautiful Gretchen. Beautiful.