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Humor / Pregnancy

Funny Pregnancy Cravings: The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly

Funny Pregnancy Cravings: The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly

In pregnancy, there are two kinds of cravings: the ones you’re willing to indulge, either because they’re healthy or because you’re hormonal and the only thing that will keep you from crying is half a cheesecake. Then there are the unhealthy ones that you try your best to suppress. Sometimes suppressing them feels like you’re wrestling a pack of wild badgers while blindfolded and balancing on a spinning log on Class IV rapids, but you still try.

For me, jalapenos fall into category number one. I am obsessed. Getting a turkey sandwich (pressed on the Panini maker until steaming, of course)? Slice me up a few jalapenos. Ordering a salad? More peppers, please. A turkey burger? My fabulous husband knows to throw a few jalapenos on the grill. Perhaps jalapenos aren’t in the same healthy category as apples or yogurt, but at least I’m not eating a Peanut Buster Parfait every day. I figure a little spice is good for the fetus. It keeps him or her on his little budding toes, and, with any luck, gets the kid ready to love going out for Mexican food.

Have you been to Mad Greens? I’m just a little obsessed. Even before pregnancy, I hit them up once a week. Now, it’s not uncommon for me to visit four days in a row. My current love is a Mad Greens salad, almost any one of them will do, with two scoops of jalapenos. Doesn’t matter if it’s a salad with apples or one with mozzarella, I still want those jalapenos. The people who work behind the counter at Mad Greens know me, and I imagine they’ve started calling me Pepper Girl behind my back. (Note to Mad Greens management: if you’re looking for a spokesperson, I’m your girl. All I need are a few free salads a week, and I’ll keep on talking you up. Just don’t be stingy with the jalapenos.)

In my category number two? Diet Coke. If I look on the package and can’t recognize multiple ingredients, I figure it’s fake food I should avoid, especially while pregnant, and Diet Coke certainly fits that category. During the first trimester, it was easy for me to avoid. Like coffee and sausage and my husband’s pizza with prosciutto– which I made him eat outside because it was so repugnant to me – it just turned me off. I didn’t even want to be in the same room as a Diet Coke, or tiramisu for that matter. Anything slightly sweet made me feel sick. Given that I’m known for a hefty sweet tooth, this was an almost welcome change. Unfortunately, it did not stick around.

Now that I’m in the second trimester and the queasiness is subsiding, a little Diet Coke doesn’t look so bad. In fact, I’ve found myself aching for a glass of sweet caffeinated unidentifiable liquid bubbling on ice.

My method for overcoming the craving? I picture a can of Diet Coke being poured on a tiny baby’s head. Seriously. Really, picture that yourself – start with a chubby little cherub cooing on a thick rug, suddenly drenched by cold brown liquid from a silver can. Imagine the howls. Makes you want to keep away from the Diet Coke, doesn’t it? Well, it works for me about 2/3 of the time, and the other 1/3 I just think, “Quit your whining, baby! A little aspartame never hurt anyone!”

So, tell me about your pregnancy cravings. What did you indulge in? And what did you try to resist?

-Oz Spies

Mile High Mamas
Author: Mile High Mamas

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  1. Ahhhhh, cravings. I don’t know if I would call them that–more like obsessions. My biggest one was pumpkin. During my first pregnancy, I called home during Canadian Thanksgiving and my family was eating pumpkin pie. That fueled an all-out obsession to make everything pumpkin: enchiladas, gnocchi, bread, scones, shakes, biscuits, pizza, you name it!

  2. I Here you! I had to have SLURPEES with my second….I also had to have my bubbly sodas and allowed myself to have a diet pepsi each morning since I don’t drink cofee…it was my prego splurge…my girls turned out fine (so far)

  3. ah yes, those wonderful cravings that were a must-have at any cost at any time of the day. Pineapple and those Big Stick popsicles while I was PG with my son.
    Previously a diet coke fiend, I couldn’t touch them at all while pregnant. In fact, that was one of my first ways I knew I could be pregnant was the thought of puking if I so much as looked at a diet coke.
    Try Pepsi One – it’s aspartame free (has Splenda) and I think it tastes better.
    Enjoy the pregnancy, warts and all. I’d give anything to be able to be pregnant again.

  4. MEXICAN FOOD!! I could eat mexican food morning noon and night…mmmmm!

  5. Amber, it’s just perfect that you crave pumpkin! I just tried a yummy pumpkin pancake recipe, actually.

    Thanks, Kim!

    Sara, you’re making me hungry!

  6. Mine were Starburst candy and Pasta. Not together.

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