To share or not to share? That is the question modern parents must ask.

Since having children, the lure of adorable kid photos in combination with the powers of Facebook have helped me reconnect with family and friends from across the country.

I try not to flood my friends’ feeds with pictures of the girls. But when especially cute and/or amusing moments happen, like my toddler crying in a corner (Caption: “Sometimes baby puts herself in the corner.”) or my 3-year-old sitting next to a newborn calf at a farm, I can’t resist sharing. How else will my cousins in Boston or husband’s relatives in Arizona get to see them?

Family members tell us regularly to keep posting photos of the kids as they brighten their days. And it makes me smile a little too when I see a photo I posted of the girls taking a horse-back ride on their dad getting dozens of likes.

Until recently, I’d always assumed that every parent with a smartphone and Facebook account shares photos and anecdotes about their little half pints from time to time.

Not so.

The argument against sharing about your kids

Back in September digital media expert and author Amy Webb wrote a column for Slate in which she takes parents to task for posting photos, videos and stories related to their children on social media sites.

Among her biggest concerns was that posting media about your children now prevents them from having any digital anonymity in the future. Once that content is out there, it doesn’t go away.

Years from now those searchable pictures of your kid’s face covered in pureed green beans could be a source of embarrassment or even cyberbullying. Webb goes as far as to suggest that anecdotes you publish might paint your child in a potentially unflattering light and could impact their ability to get into college.

Not only did Webb and her husband make the decision not to post any photos or identifiable information about their daughter online, they also did extensive research of all the names they considered for their child before she was born, to ensure there was no negative content linked to the name or any variations. Finally, they registered a URL for her and created private profiles under her name on a variety of social media sites (practices which former Facebook spokeswoman Randi Zuckerberg recommends to parents).

“When we think she’s mature enough (an important distinction from her being technically old enough), we’ll hand her an envelope with her master password inside,” Webb writes. “She’ll have the opportunity to start cashing in parts of her digital identity, and we’ll ensure that she’s making informed decisions about what’s appropriate to reveal about herself, and to whom.”

Beyond the desire to maintain your child’s digital integrity are the safety concerns that come with posting about them.

Webb says that as facial recognition software becomes more sophisticated, anyone will have access to a person’s basic biographical information from his or her smartphone just by scanning a face.

Parents have been horrified to find pictures of their children stolen by apparent pedophiles. And one family was shocked to discover a photo from their Christmas card was spotted on a giant sign at a grocery store in Prague.

In a quick Google search of my kids’ names I was surprised at the number of images of them that popped up – one even posted to a blog I had no idea about. It was a sobering reminder of how quickly information is disseminated these days and how it can easily slip from our ability to control it.

But even with that knowledge, I still don’t think I’m going to stop posting.

The argument for sensible sharing

Just as Webb had shamed me into thinking I was the world’s most irresponsible parent, I read a retort on Salon from tech writer Andrew Leonard.

He says sharing photos, videos and stories online can be beneficial:

“In doing so, we are strengthening the ties that bind a larger community of family and friends together, embedding our stories and lives in contexts that are larger than those of the individual nuclear family or neighborhood street. Some anonymity may well be lost through this process, but something valuable is also gained; a sense of togetherness that is often missing or attenuated by modern life.”

Maybe I sound naïve, but I tend to side with Leonard on this one.

Offering your child digital anonymity is nice for as long as they’re able to maintain it, but establishing these early bonds with family and friends is gift, too. It’s almost as if you’re laying the groundwork for a future cheerleading section and support system for your child.

Webb offers a great reminder to be more thoughtful and cautious about what we post. Skip the photos of your kids at bath time, potty time and maybe even the ones of them in bathing suits at the pool. Check your privacy settings to ensure that only the people you want to see your photos can see them. Don’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know.

In the end, we need to be mindful, responsible and respectful of our children online, just as we hope they will be of us when they enter the digital fray.

Author: Amber Johnson

Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.