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Childbirth / Children / Pregnancy

Pregnancy Not Your Thing? You’re Not Alone

Pregnancy Not Your Thing? You’re Not Alone

 I’m 34 weeks pregnant with Baby #1, and it’s taken me an hour to get the first sentence of this story typed. I blame the restless legs, heartburn, aggressive kicking, baby brain, aching lower back, tiny feet stuck under my ribs and grumbling stomach all caused by this 5 pound tiny human squished in my uterus. While I’m not ungrateful and I don’t love my unborn child any less than other women, I’m going to be honest and admit that I don’t love being pregnant. Gasp!

 Over the years I’ve heard many of my friends gush about their pregnancy and about how magnificent each step was and how beautiful they felt. They loved it! Perhaps you have a few friends like that? The ones who talk about how thick and shiny their hair is, the glow of their skin, how each kick they feel is the most earth shattering feeling they have ever felt and how their sex life is better than ever.  If you are one of those women, congratulations! I say, Bulls..t.

 After a battle with infertility and a severe case of ovarian hyper stimulation (a rare side effect of fertility drugs) my husband and I were fortunate to get pregnant! Besides the physical pain of getting pregnant, there was emotional pain.  I started the pregnancy carrying twins and by the end of the first trimester only one remained. Doctors call it a “vanishing twin”, in non-doctor terms I miscarried one of our babies. 

 We worked hard to start a family, just like so many other couples and I can’t wait to meet him. And after what we have been through, for anyone to think I am an ungrateful “soon-to-be” mom, they are crazy.

 While I miss wine, sleeping on my stomach, sushi, being comfortable doing anything, a solid night of sleep without using the bathroom 6 times, 5-inch heels, running, strangers leaving me alone, whiskey, non-itchy belly and boobs, my clothes, being able to tie my shoes, hot yoga,  my “innie” bellybutton and raw cookie dough, it’s a small sacrifice to pay to grow this tiny human that I will love and cherish every second of my life.

 But, I don’t have to pretend to like every step of the process of creating this human in my belly or defend myself to others for saying so. After all, no one gets pregnant to be pregnant. You get pregnant to have the blessing and adventure of raising a child.

Elissa Sungar is the Co-Creator of If Not You, Who?  a free website that offers easy and fun in-home educational activities that help prepare children for kindergarten and life.  Her passion for early childhood education grew out of her experience as a pre-school teacher at Stanford University’s Bing Nursery School. Elissa loves hiking, running, tennis, yoga, cute workout clothes, good cheese, great baked goods and exploring Denver!   Twitter: @ElissaINYW

Elissa Sungar
Author: Elissa Sungar

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  1. I think many pregnant women are hesitant to complain about feeling crummy when they’re pregnant. I mean, this is what we want–a baby and this is the road to having a baby (particularly after struggling with infertility). Personally I felt crummy pretty much my entire pregnancy but what I got out of it (my wonderful) kids DOES make it worth it!

  2. I feel crummy during pregnancy too! This time around has been better because I learned I have to snack frequently. If I just remember to eat! haha

  3. I actually feel great but after struggling with 2 miscarriages, this pregnancy has me worried EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. It’s been one big roller coaster. I have to watch EVERY thing I eat (is there enough protein, too much mercury, pesticides, toxins, what kind of oil, enough fats). I can’t work out as much as I used to — I have to hold back. And, I’m in leggings and big sweaters every day.

    So, I feel GREAT, I really do — but the emotionality of it — just not a fan.

  4. The honesty of the blog touched me. Pregnancy is different for each woman as it occurs at different ages and stages in lives. Embracing the pregnancy within your own world and knowing you are already caring for a “human being” within your body, is a road that is forged for each woman before giving birth. Some roads are straight and narrow – easy pregnancy and healthy baby, etc. – and some roads go through steep mountains and valleys – infertility and problem pregnancies/birth, etc. Becoming a “mom” is a worldwide club that can bring out the best and worst in women. As a society we should celebrate the role of pregnancy and being a mom – for this is the route to our world’s future.

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