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Young vs. Old Mom: Which One Are You?

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We women are basically fertile from age 15-45, and there are even some outliers beyond these ages.

We have seen pregnancies in girls younger than 15, but that’s a whole other topic.

And with the magic of infertility treatments, we also see women older than 45 having babies.  In fact, with the magic of accidents, we do see spontaneous pregnancies in women older than 45.  That’s just one of those crazy life things where if you wanted to get pregnant after 45, it would be quite difficult.  But sure enough, if you are sending your older kids off to college, eagerly awaiting some well-deserved alone time with your spouse (what was his name again?),  then KABOOM, you are in the second-highest group of unintended pregnancies after teenagers: perimenopausal women.  You’ve just had your last period: baby, then menopause, or as one of my dear friends refers to it: breast-o-pause, because you breast feed the baby, then: nothing.  No period, nothing.  It’s done.

I had a patient who had a couple babies later in life (after age 45) but she had to quit breast feeding sooner than she wanted.  The reason?  She couldn’t see her nipple.  That’s right, her eyesight had deteriorated to the point where she was having trouble connecting baby to breast.  Awesome.  But, the flip side is, she is old enough, and has had enough kids, to just roll with it.  Sure, breast feeding is best, but it’s nothing to lose your sanity over.

Older moms can be chill like that.  They know things have a way of working themselves out, somehow, someway.  And they have more money.

Younger moms, however, they’ve got all the energy.  They take their kids out and run around with them, play games, jump on the trampoline.  Older moms don’t jump on trampolines.  If you don’t know why no trampolines, you’re not “older.”

Younger moms care about which diaper genie to buy, they care if their kid brushes their hair in the morning, they care if their kid eats food off of the floor.

Older moms mostly care that they don’t get called “Grandma.”

Let’s face it, babies are a blessing and a joy at any time in life, and they come with different challenges at different phases.  Either way, the best thing any of us can do it just fasten our seat belts and try to enjoy the ride.
joyceGuest blogger Joyce Gottesfeld, MD has been an Obstetrician/Gynecologist with Kaiser Permanente Colorado for the past 17 years. She’s a mother of three young daughters, ages 15, 12 and 8 and married to Marshall Gottesfeld, also an OBGYN in Denver. Joyce loves caring for women and started this blog as a way to share thoughts on women’s health, being a parent, a wife, staying fit and other life topics. To read more of her blog check out

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  • comment avatar michele July 11, 2013

    I’m an older mom and i still jump on trampolines, play all sports, video games, read books, play boardgames with my 7 year old. I know alot of “tired” 30 year old moms too.

    • comment avatar Sam Hill July 11, 2013

      No trampoline jumping has nothing to do with being tired! lol

  • comment avatar Alena July 11, 2013

    Hello I am alena, I am an old Mom.

  • comment avatar Tamara July 19, 2013

    What do you consider to be an “older mom”? Geez this article makes it sound like at 44 I should be getting out the walker and bifocals!

  • comment avatar Lisafer July 19, 2013

    I’m an old, tired mom. Lol. Had my first at 31 and second at 33. I’ll be 35 this year. I’m still young at heart (and sometimes my maturity level – ha!), though I wish I had the energy I had in my 20’s. Maybe once my kids start sleeping through the night…(haven’t had a full night’s sleep in over 4 years, but that’s a whole other story; I know some of you can relate).

    Sometimes I wish I had started earlier so that I might have more energy and more time on this planet with my family, but I’m glad I got to do all the crazy, awful stuff I did in my 20’s and don’t have any urges to do any of those things again.

  • comment avatar KR July 19, 2013

    I’m a young mom – had her when I was 19. I also have a really young face, so even though my daughter is now 10, I still look like I’m 21. I get mistaken for her sister or nanny whenever I pick her up from school, then I get the “looks” from other parents who are in the acceptable age range. I’m still married to her father which is hard to say for many of them, but I’m the one being judged. It can be a bit frustrating. And trust me, I don’t have as much energy as you think I do – but then again, I work full time!

  • comment avatar Linsey July 23, 2013

    This blog is rife with oversimplifications and stereotypes, and at best a watered-down version of some of the other “mommy wars” tripe I’ve seen all over the internet (young vs. old moms- really?). My children were all born after I turned 35, so by your definition, I am an “old” mom. What crap. I am a runner, cyclist, gardener, full time professional, bread winner, craft queen, cook, solver of problems- in other words, a complete powerhouse of a mom who takes pride in playing hard and loving with great intensity, despite my “advanced” years. I make sure my kiddos have state of the art, thoughtful gear, I research and vet their schools and extra curricular activities, and while perhaps I have the perspective to let some things “roll,” I also take great pride in savoring with every molecule in my being the full experience of being a mom to my kiddos, trampolines and all.