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Beauty / Humor

Quiz: What Color Should You Paint Your Toes?

Summer sandal season is here! Not only is it time to shave your thighs instead of just your calves, it’s time to take nail color seriously. Your tootsies can’t hide in boots or in fuzzy slippers. Let those protective layers of hardened keratin shine!

But what color should you paint your toenails? This is a difficult question we must all answer. With hundreds of colors to choose from, it can be a daunting decision. Here’s help.

1. You recently dropped a frozen pork roast on your foot, resulting in severe bruising. It reminds you of:
a. A sunrise over a tropical ocean
b. Kermit the Frog
c. A Goth’s tender smile

2. Whew, it’s hot outside. You reach for a frosty beverage. It tastes like:
a. A luau in your mouth
b. Frat house living room reclaimed bamboo floor
c. Chimney smoke from a London rooftop, circa 1895

3. Cruising down the highway in a vintage convertible, you blast music to the masses. They’re hearing…
a. The Beach Boys
b. A jam band
C. Robert Smith wailing about writhing in a snake pit

4. As a child, you aspired to be a
a. Ballerina Astronaut
b. Horse
c. Candle-making philosopher sorceress orthodontist

5. It’s movie night. You munch your popcorn a little faster when you’re watching
a. A frothy romantic comedy staring someone named Ryan
b. A drama with a strong social message about how corporations are evil
c. Benedict Cumberbatch

6. Happy birthday! You wake up on this big day thinking:
a. I’m 29.
b. Age is but a state of mind
c. Now my tombstone will reflect another year

7. Your favorite candy:
a. Chocolate hearts
b. Chia
c. Absinthe

8. Who will actually see your toes?
b. Friends in my CSA and those I tube down mountain creeks with

9. You smell like
a. Elizabeth Taylor’s diamonds
b. A newborn baby, if that baby were doing Couch to 5K
c. The downy underwings of a raven in Istanbul

10. You are doing this quiz because
a. You love faux psychology
b. You are curious about exploring a variety of color options
c. You are in a waiting room and your smartphone is the only thing keeping you sane

Congratulations! Let’s reveal the not-at-all-obvious answers.

If you answered mostly As: Reds, pinks, and corals are your bffs.

If you answered mostly Bs: Yellows, greens, oranges, and metallics are the sensible choices.

If you answered mostly Cs: Dark blues, purple, black, but you knew that already.

Author: gretchen

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  1. Your quizzes keep getting funnier and funnier. I think you should go into business writing them. 🙂 Guess I should take off my current metallic blue and go more traditional!

  2. For the record, mine are a dark purple. It makes me feel like quoting Edgar Allan Poe.

  3. Awesome! Love it – pinks and reds are for me

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