Becoming Mothers: I’m Alive, Because I’m a Mom–A Teenage Mom’s Experience
posted by: Guest Blogger
What do you get when you mix a 17-year-old girl who lives with friends, has no boundaries and no desire to obey the rules that governed most people?
You get Me.
Everybody thought I was too young, no one said it but one could read it in their gaze when they saw my swollen belly. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I saw those two blue lines on the test, “That is the bluest blue I’ve ever seen.” I cried that night. When I awoke the next day, something in me snapped. I decided that this little baby was my only saving grace.
I had a modeling shoot a few weeks later and was chosen as a finalist, before me was a decision, end my pregnancy to pursue my dream or place selfishness on the back burner and give another life a chance. The decision was an easy one. My path after that was life changing, I was a young pregnant girl, who married to an abusive man 6 days before my daughter was born, and we were poor, miserable and barely surviving. The morning she was born I was terrified. The appointment 12 hours prior showed her to be breach and when we got to the hospital that hadn’t changed. Two hours and one incision later I was a mother to a screaming, red face, curly haired little girl whom I named Kara Elizabeth.
I finished high school carrying her in a car seat on the bus to an inner city school in Fort Worth, Texas for teen moms. I breast fed my daughter between classes, protected her from the world and slept with her next to me every night. When she was 6 months old I gathered her up in my arms, threw her packed diaper bag over my shoulder and ran out of the house and away from my abusive husband. I was only 18 years old.
Six years later I was holding her comatose hand at a hospital in Denver, Colorado while they told me “She’s got spinal meningitis, in the next 24 hours she has a 50/50 chance of survival, if she does survive she’ll probably be brain damaged.” I remember thinking how unfair that was, to me and to her. She and I were supposed to take on the world together, she was the Robin to my Batgirl, the next month was hell, but she is my miracle baby. She survived without any complications and is now a sophomore at CU Boulder.
I’m now a 38-year-old woman with 6 children. Kara is my oldest. I believe she’s the reason I’m alive today, she saved me from myself, every birthday a put up a silent prayer of thanks to her for coming along when I needed her the most.
Suzanne Bastien is a mom of six living in Centennial, Colorado. She is getting married to her Romeo in Sept. 2012 and will officially be a stepmom of one more. Seven kids, one guy and one girl, no pets and one great story! Suzanne writes about her life, photography and recipes at http://crunchygreenmom.blogspot.com.