I’m currently holed up in my childhood home in Canada but the shock and tragedy of the Aurora theater shootings are reverberating thousands of miles away.
I was walking out the door to go biking with my dad when I first heard the news. “Fifty shot, 12 dead” kept replaying in my mind as I biked. It was early in the news day and we only had one name for the deceased: victims.
Nameless, faceless innocents who have families and loved ones who woke up to a nightmare.
As a parent, I often wonder how much to tell my children. It is better to shelter them or start exposing them to the difficult things of the world? According to Children Now (the leading, nonpartisan advocacy organization dedicated to promoting children’s health), research shows that children, especially those between the ages of 8 and 12, want their parents to talk with them about today’s toughest issues, including violence.
The American Humane Association offers these tips for parents and other caregivers to help children cope with the fear and uncertainty caused by the Aurora theater shooting tragedy:
* Keep an eye on children’s emotional reactions. Talk to children – and just as important – listen to them. Encourage kids to express how they feel and ask if anything is worrying them.
* Regardless of age, reassure them frequently of their safety and security, and reinforce that you, local officials, and their communities are working to keep them safe. Older children may seem more capable, but can also be affected.
* Keep your descriptions to children simple and limit their exposure to graphic information. Keep to the basic facts that something bad happened but that they are safe. Use words they can understand and avoid technical details and terms such as “smoke grenades” and “sniper.”
* Limit their access to television and radio news reports since young children may have trouble processing the enormity of the experience, and sometimes believe that each news report may be a new attack.
* Be prepared for children to ask if such violence can occur to them. Do not lie but repeat that it is very unlikely and that you are there to keep them safe.
* Watch for symptoms of stress, including clinginess, stomachaches, headaches, nightmares, trouble eating or sleeping, or changes in behavior.
* If you are concerned about the way your children are responding, consult your doctor, school counselor or local mental health professional.
“Children are especially vulnerable at a time like this,” notes Dr. Robin Ganzert, the AHA’s president and chief executive officer. “Parents, teachers, and other caregivers need to be especially sensitive to how children are reacting and help them cope with their fears and feelings. The best thing is to talk to children now and in the weeks to come to ensure they receive the attention they need in dealing with this tragedy.”
-Joanne Davidson
Be sure to also go here for advice from Children Now on talking to kids about tragedy.
And hold your kids tighter today.
Have you talked to the kids about the tragedy?
======
Be sure to follow the Denver Post’s Breaking News for the latest updates. For the Denver Post’s live feed on how the tragedy is unfolding, be sure to go here.
• On Sunday, the Thrive with Confidence Foundation is having an open house at the Thrive Community Recreation Center, 15528 E. Hampden Circle, Aurora. Hours are 1-5 p.m. “We open our doors and arms to embrace our community in a time of great need,” says executive director Brad Askren.
• Children’s Hospital Colorado has opened a family support line, 720-777-2300.
• Aurora Mental Health Center offers its support by having trained counselors available by phone 303-617-2300.
Author: Amber Johnson
Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.
Karen
Thanks for posting these. I’ll go over and read all their advice. I’ve been glued to the TV all morning but haven’t let my kids watch. They’re pretty young and I’d rather control the conversation and not let any potentially terrifying scenes come into play.
Lana
My kiddos are older and we’ve been watching. What is so upsetting about this is this is potentially something ANYONE could have been privy to–I’ve been to a lot of midnight showings over the years. Those poor, poor people My hearts go out to them.
Barb Mackey
I heard they were supposed to do the Red Carpet Batman debut in Paris but cancelled it. Glad Hollywood was sensitive to this. For once.
Amber Johnson
I’m glad to hear they canceled the Red Carpet, too. The Canadian media has been all over it. I had a friend who was supposed to appear on Canada A.M. but was preempted for coverage of the shootings. People everyone are so shocked and saddened. 🙁
Hannah
A friend of mine almost went to Century 16 for the showing with his infant son but decided not to at the last minute. My heart absolutely breaks for the victim’s families.
Kimberly
My 4 year old has seen some of it, she told me “bad men shouldn’t touch guns, like kids shouldnt”. We discuss what to do in bad situations, not so in depth with this tragedy, but for her to be safest she needs to know who to trust and how to react with strangers. If we let her think only good things happened in the world, how would she know to protect herself should something bad happen?
Lisa Vratny-Smith
Thanks so much for posting this, Amber. So many parents have questions, it’s a great resource.
Sherry
We talked with our kids before we let them see any newws about it. We frequent the movie theater where the shootings took place, so it hits us very close to home!
Lisa
I spoke with my boys briefly as it is just down the street from us and have kept tv and radio off. If you think your kids might hear it offhand, Amber, I would go ahead and tell them. Just the facts without much drama or detail.
Jaime
I wanted for my kids to understand that the shooter wasn’t a “mentally ok” person…and have the opportunity to explain appropriate/healthy ways to take out aggression and anger. They end up catching word of current events from friends – I want for them to be comfortable coming to me with questions – and have mature responses to what they might hear. They weren’t afraid after our talk. I think communication is a tool of empowerment!
Ron
Are that different from our children in terms of what we should expose ourselves to? It is enough to know it happened and help anyway we can. My family won’t be feeding the media higher ratings for show this incessantly. I would like to know the best ways to help… Any ideas?
Lisa
I’ve been following this story but haven’t shared it with my 7 and 10 yr old kids. Mine don’t process that such & forth tragedy is very rare and unlikely to happen to us. They watched Soul Surfer months & months ago and went from wanting to try surfing this summer to fearful of shark attacks.
Lisa
We don’t like to think about it, but whether due to accident, sudden illness, or tragedy, your life or your child’s life may be taken prematurely. This is one of the many reasons, I take great comfort in my Christian faith. The Bible teaches that children before the age of accountability will go to heaven when they die. Both of my children asked Jesus to be their Lord and Savior before the age of 9. I have confessed that I am a sinner and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior years ago. So no matter what happens to me or my precious babies, I am sure we will spend eternity together in heaven. That is one of the great reassurances of the Bible. I would encourage anyone concerned about the fallen state of our world to say the sinner’s prayer and genuinely ask Jesus for eternal salvation and encourage your loved ones to do likewise. Have questions? Read the Bible or ask a pastor of a church that teaches and preaches the Bible.
Pingback: Comment on Why we watch the 2012 Summer Olympics; When & where to see your favorite sports! by Amber Johnson « Sports Greatest Rivalries