Becoming Mothers: My World Was Turned Upside Down and Then I Was “Mom”
I remember quite clearly when I conceived her, seeing the two lines on the pregnancy test, watching her foot draw circles in my belly, how smelling dirty dishes would make me nauseated, that my husband called in the troops (grandma) and bought a dishwasher because he had to do all the dishes when I was pregnant.
I remember that I didn’t have any cravings, but that I did drink a liter of strawberry milk every day on my way to work and haven’t before or after (yes, my husband has pointed out this is the definition of a craving).
I remember putting on make-up and asking my husband to take my picture before we left for the hospital because I wanted to document the absolute biggest I ever got (which is 30 lbs less than I currently weigh).
I remember the midwives telling us to go walk the mall until my contractions were 5 min apart for over an hour. I remember my husband not wanting to go into any of the stores because he was afraid my water would break in the store, so we just wandered the halls.
I remember being nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. I was prepared though. After all, my birth plan was 4 pages long and extremely detailed. It was all laid out in black and white, so of course everything would go according to the Plan, right?
Ok. We’ll wait a moment for those of you with children to stop laughing.
As you may be able to imagine, the birth plan was ripped to shreds and I doubt a single word of it was actually read or followed.
To give perspective on how greatly my world turned upside down that night, here is a small idea of who I thought I was prior to it:
I am tough. I have a high pain tolerance. I am a strong, independent woman that can tackle anything. I am ready for whatever the world throws my way.
Here is me after giving birth:
I am a complete wuss. I have NO pain tolerance whatsoever. I would gladly kneel down and kiss the feet of the person that invented the epidural. Women that choose to have 19 kids are either my hero or completely insane. Most likely somewhere in between.
I remember blessed relief when the epidural was administered and being able to laugh with my husband and delivery nurse about how UN sexy labor and birth were. Even asking my husband how he had ever seen this and wanted to have sex again (I have 2 stepsons).
I remember seeing her full head of black hair as she crowned and then feeling her slip into the world. Her slimy little body on my chest as she stared up into my eyes and my world changed forever.
I became a Mom.