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How Crafty Are You? Take The Quiz

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In the 1970s, moms were macrame and Mod Podge maniacs. In the 80s, papier-mâché made them proud. Today, there is no crafty medium moms aren’t drooling to try. The more picture-worthy, the better. Every minor holiday, movie opening, and observance is suddenly elevated to Christmas Feast status by moms hungry to impart meaning, beauty, and to keep little hands from becoming idle—and her own. Craftiness is next to Godliness—or, it at least gives us the ultimate compliment: Pin-worthiness. But how can you tell if you are a little too devoted to your hot glue gun and sewing machine? Here’s a quiz that will tell you where you land on the scale.

1. Your fingernails are usually:

a. Hand-model worthy.
b. Short, stumpy, sensible, and safe.
c. Caked with trapped glitter and Aleen’s Original Tacky Glue.

2. Spray paint is best used for:

a. Tagging your territory on highway underpasses at 3am.
b. Jazzing up vintage knick-knacks and furniture found while thrifting.
c. Giving the shelves in the garage something to do.

3. Your hot glue gun is kept:

a. In a bin on a shelf above the washing machine.
b. Bwahahahaha. Hot glue gun?
c. In a holster.

4. Cupcakes:

a. Must be baked in colorful, whimsical papers, decorated beautifully, arranged on a cupcake tower, photographed, and taste like sidewalk chalk.
b. Are mostly for kid’s birthday parties at school.
c. Nom-nom-nom, chew-chew-chew, do I have buttercream on my cheeks? Oops, I have crumbs in my bra!

5. Let’s assume you have a sewing machine. You can thread it:

a. Only after consulting your mom or while thumbing through the owner’s manual.
b. With your feet, sitting backward, while watching the most gripping Downton Abbey episode as you shout at Thomas and O’Brian.
c. In your nightmares because Martha Stewart is choking you with a gumdrop wreath.

6. You notice Arbor Day is less than a month away:

a. Arbor Day? I am still recovering from Halloween.
b. Entertain the idea of planting a fruit tree.
c. Panic! Invitations to the party must be designed and stamped with carved potatoes. You still need to make the “pin-the-leaf-on the tree” game, the banner, order the favors from Etsy, make a clearing in a nearby forest, brew root beer in tiny bottles with personalized labels, and hire a local band to play Arbor Day anthems you composed using Garage Band.

7. When your children look for you, they find you:

a. At the computer looking for “inspiration” and “ideas.”
b. Lingering in the bathroom because you have one more bite to take of a secret snack cake.
c. They don’t look for you because there you are, across the table encouraging them to glue sequins to something very random so you can put it on your blog.

8. You divide your life into eras:

a. Childhood, teenage years, college, career, marriage, kids, (not necessarily in that order and maybe overlapping.)
b. Knitting, embroidery, decoupage, quilting, crochet, sewing, baking, origami, printmaking, needlework
c. Before owning a smartphone and after.

9. Owls

a. Are birds that dwell in trees in areas where small rodents are plentiful.
b. Are the most awesome motif and can be used on shirts, pillows, calendars, wall-hangings, paper arts, ornaments, whittled out of oak, painted on pottery, appliqued on tote bags, made out of felt and stuffed, on iPhone and Kindle cases, backpacks, lunch bags, tea towels, coffee mugs, coverlets, embroidered on Christmas stockings, woven out of wicker, formed out of 2,000 sequins into a mosaic, screen-printed on multiple canvases in different colors and hung together in the shape of an owl.
c. Are creepy.

10. Can you access 10 pipecleaners, 5 wooden beads, a yard of calico, 14 popsicle sticks, a purple feather, 2 skeins of wool, green embroidery thread, and a bottle of Mod Podge RIGHT NOW?

a. Maybe 50% of those items
b. No way, no how, but I can find a rubber band and a Sharpie if you give me 20 minutes.
c. Here. Now watch me fashion a kick-butt owl.

Scoring:

1. a = 0, b = 2, c = 4
2. a= 2, b = 4, c = 0
3. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
4. a = 4, b = 2, c = 0
5. a = 2, b = 4, c = 0
6. a = 0, b = 2, c = 4
7. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
8. a = 2, b = 4, c = 0
9. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4
10. a = 2, b = 0, c = 4

0 – 12 : You are Craftphobic! Consider branching out and expanding your hobbies to include the handmade, creative arts. Your kids will love it and you might find the spray paint you normally use to claim underpasses as yours looks awfully nice on a ceramic elephant.

14 – 28 : You are Crafty-balanced! Congratulations! You embrace the pretty and handy in life because it’s fun and not an obsession. You have a life outside the craft room while still blessing the universe with your gifts and talents. And I bet your cupcakes taste as great as they look.

30 – 40 : You are Craftcrazy, and not in a good way. The fumes from spray adhesives and the eye-strain from hand-stitching could be making you into a bore who can only walk, talk, and eat the next big crafty idea. Try going outside and looking for a real owl. Or an underpass.

gretchen
Author: gretchen

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Comments
  • comment avatar JoAnn March 12, 2012

    Ha! I love this post, Gretchen!

    At various times in my life, I’ve been forced to appear crafty. Some things I enjoy and do on purpose. Other things I loathe and avoid like the plague or end up doing anyway because I’m “supposed to.” *sigh*

    I actually took the quiz and wrote down my scores. On one answer, I was smack-dab between an a or a b, so if I choose one, I get a 12, and if I choose the other, I get a 14, which puts me right between Craftphobic and Crafty-balanced!

    (This sounds like a fair assessment, but please don’t make me embroider it on a dish-towel.) 😉

    • comment avatar JoAnn March 12, 2012

      …keeping in mind that I *could* embroider it on a dish-towel. My grandma made me learn nice, even stitches.

      *shudder*

  • comment avatar Amber Johnson March 12, 2012

    I’m a 20–craft balanced. Some of your questions are HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

  • Pingback:She’s Crafty, She Gets Around « Lifenut

  • comment avatar Laura aka LaLaGirl March 12, 2012

    I think I’m craft-balanced, too. I like to make awesome things, but I don’t go crazy with themed parties to celebrate things like Flag Day. I know how to thread my sewing machine without consulting the manual, but most of the stuff I make looks like crap.

    Don’t be hating on my owls, though, man. I freakin’ love cute little owls! I truly do think it’s more of a nostalgia/I-love-my-mother/I-had-a-happy-childhood thing than a trend, though. My mom is a huge owl freak and like most folks my age, I grew up in a house FULL OF OWLS. (Yay for the 70s!) They just make me happy, and make me think of my mommy.

    I personally hope the next trend in trendy animal motifs is the fox. I think they’re underrated and super cute.

  • comment avatar Ratna getcluedIn March 12, 2012

    Oh this is hilarious — I am 100% CRAFTPHOBIC— and btw, I have no idea when arbor day is … I guess I am THAT mommy that other mommies will talk about – whatever… 🙂 Haaaa

  • comment avatar nicole March 12, 2012

    Hahaha! I’m too lazy to do the math (this is my downtime, no math allowed) but I would probably come close to craftphobic. I do love a cute owl but I’ve felt the need to make one myself. I tell my people my skill is finding cute things on the internet and paying people to make them!

  • comment avatar Lori Lavender Luz March 13, 2012

    Craftphobic, for sure! Especially #7 and #9. And I got a negative score on #10.

    Hilarious post! Even for me, an anti-crafter.

    Off to find some “inspiration.”

  • comment avatar edj March 13, 2012

    Oh I am beyond Craftphobic! I run a mile screaming at the simple thought of entering Jo-Ann’s. I shudder at the thought of a glue gun. (actually I don’t really. I mean, what is it for?) I do decorate cupcakes, cuz I like to bake and eat. My kids seem to be doing fine though.
    And you know why I am against all things crafty? (I’ve told this joke before, so stop me if you’ve heard it blahblahblah…) Because crafts are from the pit of hell. Read about it in Genesis. “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other creature…” Yeah. That’s your spiritual inspiration, ladies! Read a good book instead! 😉

  • comment avatar Stephanie March 13, 2012

    First of all, may I commend you for creating a quiz where you have to actually score it, instead of dopey magazine quizzes where “if you answer C on all” then you get your answer. The teacher in me wants a real quiz where you cannot spot the trend. I’m a weirdo like that.

    My results: I’m moderately crafty. I pull out all my craftiness for birthdays and baby showers, and after that, the glue gun stays safely tucked away. (True admission: someone told me they didn’t own a glue gun and I gasped in horror…and then I immediately felt shamed for my craft snobbery.)

  • comment avatar Amy March 14, 2012

    I scored a respectable 16.

    I think that you are spot on about the trend to turn every little event into a spectacle. It’s a topic I’ve been thinking a lot about recently (I’ve even been working a blog post about it). I’m not sure what the driving for is behind this trend, but I can’t help but worry that it is putting undue pressure on moms to create “special” moments for their children and families.

  • comment avatar Jill March 14, 2012

    I SO hope this post was not inspired by my wreath!

  • comment avatar amy March 19, 2012

    Funny. Really funny. No one’s packing a glue gun at our house.

  • comment avatar Julia B April 17, 2012

    I got a 12, so apparently I’m JUST in the craft-phobic range… sounds about right 😛 I can do crafty stuff, but I’d rather read a book 😀
    Then again, I’m not technically a mum yet (pregnant with my first), so who knows if that’ll change once I have kids? I might get pushed over into craft-balanced 🙂

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