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Holidays / Humor

The year I was given the gift of death for the holidays

We had a fabulous holiday yesterday but money was tight for many of my family members. This caused me to reflect upon Christmas 2008. Instead of giving each other gifts we didn’t really need that we would then exchange for gifts we really wanted, my sister-in-law Jane came up with a plan.

“This year, we will give each other experiences!” she announced. She then expounded this would entail spending time doing some kind of memorable activity together.

I loved the idea. I never know what to get most members of my family and building memories seemed like a much better alternative.

Unless they are bad memories.

When Jane made her proclamation, I had visions of being treated to a night out without the children (with free babysitting included, of course). It could be a play, a movie, a fancy dinner or even a walk down by the river. We would laugh, we would bond and we would well, build memories.

But then she dropped the bomb: “Your brother Pat and I thought it would be fun for you and [my husband] Jamie to go to Ripped with us.”

I hesitated. Anything with the word “ripped” could not be good. I figured it was either a seedy hangout or a killer workout, both of which might ultimately lead me to R.I.P.

I hesitatingly followed up: “Just what exactly is Ripped?” She confirmed it was her town’s most kick-butt workout at the local gym. A workout that had her seeing stars within the first 15 minutes.

A rather appropriate symbol for this Christmas season, wouldn’t you agree?

Now, I’m not some kind of a wimp. It’s just that I’m not quite Ripped yet. And I really want to have enough energy to lift my fork from my plate to my mouth during Christmas dinner.

I have my priorities, you know.

I knew Jamie would be even less thrilled about the prospect. Our Wii Fit recently accused him of being a Couch Potato. Instead of persevering, he indifferently shrugged his shoulders and went back to his computer.

And so this holiday season, I encourage you to relish in the materialistic world. Give presents, eat food, show love. But just don’t give “experiences.”

Then again, nothing says Christmas like the gift of death.

Amber Johnson
Author: Amber Johnson

Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

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Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

17 Comments

  1. Great Idea – in theory. Your vision would be more of what I would have in mind- not getting my rear kicked at a gym 🙂 In our Family this year, we are all donating to a worthy cause rather than giving gifts to each other.

  2. I love that idea of giving experiences–just not that kind of experience ; )

    LOL at Jamie’s reaction to Wii Fit’s “accusation”.

  3. Ilike the idea too, but not that one. EW. THere is no chance I would enjoy that in the least.

  4. I think…that this has the same pitfalls as gift-cards. The gift of a death-inducing workout doesn’t appeal to you…so the ‘experience-giver’ really didn’t put thought into it, just like some people don’t put thought into an actual ‘gift’…

    Don’t get me wrong, gift-cards and ‘blanket-cover-all-contingencies’ gifts have their places [i.e. my 15-year-old daughter when I have NO clue what she wants but EVERY clue of where she’d get something she does]– it still requires some thought, and some knowledge of the intended recipient. Right?

    I would think getting someone something just because YOU like it….whether it be the pink flamingo clock that blasts a surfer-esque tune on the hour, every hour— or a workout sure to make the Wii Fit look like a sleep study….is contrary to the whole concept of ‘gifting’—it’s about THEM (your recipient) not YOU.

  5. I don’t think that is necessarily the case with my sister-in-law. She knows I love to workout and thought it would be fun to take me along. Plus, they also treated us to a dinner at the nicest restaurant in town and it was a fun evening of laughter and bonding. THAT goes much farther than any gift they could have given me.

  6. The gift of an experience… what an interesting concept. I hope you live through yours 😀

  7. What a horrible name for a workout–whoever came up with that needs a new marketing team. I did Krav Maga for 2 years, which is the self-defense system of the Israeli army, and it was really fun for a while. I liked learning how to defend myself–it’s just that I got tired of training with the twenty-something muscular guys who wanted to be cage fighters. I was a little outside the demographic, if you know what I mean.

    I think sometimes giving a gift that the receiver wouldn’t choose can be a good thing. You can introduce them to something they’d never try–maybe broaden their horizons. And I don’t mean that in a patronizing way. Sometimes it’s nice to be surprised–after you get over the shock of it.

    http://bethpartin.com

  8. Good luck to you.

  9. I do love the idea, but I agree, not that one!!!! My idea is a day at the spa or something…That would be memorable!

  10. Oh, the horror of “experiences.” It’s nice in theory though. But like you, I think I’d prefer dinner or a movie. Our Wii fit is still in the closet, in its box:)

  11. Too funny and good luck!!

  12. oh… too funny. not exactly the experience i would enjoy either =)

    if i don’t get another chance, i wanted to wish you and your family a very merry Christmas. hope you all have a wonderful time together.

    http://www.sunshine-on-my-shoulders.blogspot.com

  13. Lol… I was thinking “spa experience” myself! 🙂

    I’m going to look at that CrossFit program you linked tho. I’ve got to get past the couch-potato phase I’m sure the Wii will call me like your husband – but I WILL be a hot mom by the time BlogHer finds us in Chicago this year – I will!!! 🙂

  14. Ooh! That Wii Fit told me I was a couch potato too! Evil!

    http://www.mrssquirrelassassin.blogspot.com

  15. When I read the word, “ripped” I knew bad things lay in store.

    You are so funny. I am glad you have your priorities. My workout of choice is chewing and swallowing.

  16. Ripped, indeed. 😉

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