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Tell the truth: Are you a control freak?

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If you’re a mom, chances are you’re some sort of control freak. You try to get your kids to eat well, to sleep well, to study well, to respect well, to learn well and to live well. TO PICK UP THEIR FREAKING SOCKS.


As any of the three people who live with me will attest, I fit nicely into the Control Freak category.

On a recent evening while driving home, I noticed a stunning sunset over the mountains. The clouds had mercifully rolled in and created a canvas on which the sun painted various shades of pinks, blues, purples, and all hues in between.

This sunset happened without any impetus from me.

So I started thinking about other amazing processes and events that I don’t have to influence. They pretty much happen when I just go about my business. Here they are in all their random glory:

  • My digestion, respiration and other bodily functions happen without a lot of controlling on my part.
  • When I go to a store expecting to buy certain things, 99% of the time they are there.
  • Neighborhood streets are clean and passable.
  • Trees shade my house.
  • Water evaporates, becomes precipitation, hits the earth only to evaporate again.
  • My children keep growing taller and wiser, no matter how I might unwittingly thwart their efforts.
  • Sunrises and sunsets like this happen all over the world every single day.

Truly, I am part of something much grander than I. I can relax. I don’t have to try so hard.

Now if I can just remember that today. All day. Every moment.

Or is that too controlling?

Lori is a mom via open adoption to Tessa, 10, and Reed, 8, and they live in the metro-Denver area. She writes regularly at, the small corner of her world in which she is in complete control.

Image: suphakit73 /

Lori Holden
Author: Lori Holden

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  • comment avatar Amber Johnson August 23, 2011

    I used to think of myself a bit of a control freak…until numerous medical problems have plagued us this summer and I realized I have absolutely NO CONTROL whatsoever!!!!!

  • comment avatar Han August 23, 2011

    Yeah, my therapist has been on about this for a long time. About taking time in the throes of life when I feel the least in control and just “sitting with it”. Turns out there is great freedom in relinquishing our death-grip on the idea that we are responsible for all outcomes in all areas of our lives.

  • comment avatar Sheri August 24, 2011

    I LOVE this post. What a great reminder for me.

    One of my favorite sayings is, “Don’t try to mastermind G_d!

    Thanks for the reminder…

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