Lots of parents want to know an exact age for when to have “the talk” with their child. The fact is, you can’t always know when your child will be ready to have this discussion. Kids are curious, and questions can arise at any time. The best thing to do is be proactive about the situation and prepare for the inevitable.
“Parents have tremendous anxiety about discussing sex with their children,” explained Jeffrey Dolgan, PhD, Senior Psychologist at Children’s Hospital Colorado. “Instead of constantly worrying, parents should listen to their child. An attentive parent can recognize when a child is curious about sex before a single question is asked.”
Even for the most attentive parents, however, there are several dos and don’ts about discussing sex. Cover your bases by remembering these key points:
- Do: Maintain a running dialogue with your child. “The talk” is a bit misleading when it comes to sex because it’s impossible to answer all of your child’s questions in one sitting. After an initial conversation, be sure to tell your child if he or she has any more questions or wants to learn about anything else to ask you. Make sure he or she views you as the primary source of information.
- Do: Provide age-appropriate answers. Your child may ask about sex at any age. It’s common for a preschooler to ask where babies come from — and the stork analogy simply doesn’t cut it. Keep in mind your child’s ability to process information. Because a preschooler understands things in much simpler terms than an adult, you’ll need to package information appropriately.
- Don’t: Avoid the subject. Running away from the topic will not help your child learn or help develop your relationship with your son or daughter. Remember, your child may broach the topic of sex before you feel comfortable discussing it. If that happens, take a deep breath and answer your child’s question simply.
- Don’t: Let your child learn about sex from unreliable sources. Talking about sex is a responsibility parents have shouldered for hundreds of years, and you are no different. Your child is going to ask questions, and you should be the one to answer them, not a classmate or friend.
Get more tips from Children’s Colorado on how to speak with your child about sex and puberty.
Author: Mile High Mamas
Amber's Crazy Bloggin' Canuck
This has been a topic on my mind. My 7-year-old has yet to ask about it but I definitely want to be open. My parents NEVER talked about sex and I want to have a better dialog with my children.