When you find yourself in times of trouble
posted by: Lori Holden
When you need help, you run across two different types of people.
- People like me, who have to figure out a path from here to helping you before they can say, “Sure! I’ll be right there!”
- People like my sister, Tami, who say “Sure!” first and then figure out the how.
Three years ago, Tami called me when her husband, Gino was about to be released from the hospital after a 4-month stay with complete body paralysis and rehab. I had Tami’s car with her son’s carseat and Gino’s wheelchair in it, since I had been watching their toddler son much of the weekend. Her car allowed me to transport Dominic and both of my booster-seat kids, unlike my smaller vehicle.
My family and I had just sat down for dinner at an Italian restaurant. I am embarrassed to say that I asked if we could eat first before exchanging cars with her. I just couldn’t see how I would get a hungry family out of that restaurant without eating. She didn’t need the car seat or wheelchair immediately, so it wasn’t really a problem.
The problem, to me, was that I didn’t immediately say “Sure! Be right there!” I am just not built that way.
Tami, on the other hand, is famous for saying, “whaddaya need? I’m leaving right now.” Then she’d wake her son from his nap (those are sacred!), cancel his gymnastics class, stop at the grocery store and bring exactly the right items you didn’t even know you need, and show up on your doorstep with a smile.
I’ve always considered myself the Selfish One of the family. I am the eldest, and I am the only one of three to experience being the sole center of my parents’ universe. It’s only recently that I’ve been able to put a new spin on that: I’m not selfish, I just have healthy boundaries.
Still, it’s terrific to have a Tami who’s always got your back.
When someone needs you, are you more like Tami or like me?