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Self-love: selfish or selfless?

I’m pondering three quotes on a day when my children are back in school, leaving me wondering time.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

— Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Everyone has a price, and life respects that price. But that price is not measured in dollars or in gold, it is measured in love. More than that, it is measured in self-love.

— Don Miguel Ruiz in an engagement calendar

And wuv, twu wuv, will fowow you foweva…So tweasure your wuv.

— The Impressive Clergyman in the Princess Bride

Hmmmm….do I have a light within? Often I feel like all the light in my life (which is considerable) comes from outside me. I’m surrounded by lots of shining people, really good people. Might I attract light to me because I have light in me? I must. But I don’t quite believe it. Not in my bones.

How do I love myself? I see all my flaws, which are considerable. But I am able to love other flawed people, loving their light and their dark. Can I also love myself that way — to see myself as more than just the sum of my flaws?

What would it be like to love myself so much — to be so in love with myself — that I have the same sensations I had when Roger and I first met, or the same sensations as when I first held each of my children?

  • To have my heart beat with excitement in anticipation of the chance to be with me?
  • To want to get lost in me.
  • To come up with simple ways to pamper me and make me feel special.

Is it acceptable in our culture to love one’s self? How can one express self-love? Is doing so selfish, or is it the most selfless thing in the world?

Can we ever twuwy wuv another without first wuving and tweasuring ourselves?

How wholeheartedly do you love yourself? What tips do you have for doing so?

Image: NattyBoo32

Lori Holden
Author: Lori Holden

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  1. I think it’s a tough balance. I think self-love is essential in one’s ability to love other people. Too often I think we’re waaaaay too hard on ourselves.

    I wouldn’t want to be anyone else, flaws and all. The key is not dwelling on your faults and being appreciative of what talents you do have!

  2. I especially like what you say about not wanting to be anyone else. I agree (but about me!). Flaws and all. Talents and all.

    And I agree, also, that self-love is the foundation for other-love. Too often it’s portrayed as selfish.

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