Guest blogger Janalee Chmel is co-owner of “MA! motherhood with attitude” (Mile High Mamas’ pick for the most hilarious mom-oriented cards on the market) and is a Denver-based freelance writer.
My heart is pounding as I write this because it feels sort of like “coming out.”
Where to begin??? Welp, how about on January 28, 2010.
January 28, 2010. That is the day I am due to deliver Baby #3.
Yes, I am knocked up. Bun in the oven. “TIN ROOF! RUSTED!” (google it)
Noooo, this was not planned.
OK, so here I am, 40 years old, children at ages 7 and a 6, and one on the way. Suffice it to say, I’m scared.
YES, this is a blessed event. YES, “everything will work out,” as my husband Dave and I keep hearing from our giggling friends. But this is quite scary. Let me lay it on ya:
* No maternity insurance (though we are figuring out some good options. The ‘figuring out’ process has been terrifying, though.)
* Two-bedroom house
* 4-seater car
If that’s not enough to keep a hormonally charged woman up at 2 a.m. every night, I don’t know what is!
How did this happen?! Oh, youuuuuu know. But, OK. Between us girls: I had to go off the pill in April due to health reasons. Little did I know that my 40-year-old body would immediately begin ovulating and, as “luck” would have it, I must have ovulated on the one day Dave and I forgot to… well, you know. So, the stars aligned. These odds alone have me convinced that this will be one special baby… and that I need to play the lottery.
Talk about “JACKPOT!”
My last blog entry was May 26 and I whimsically wrote about vacuuming. The very next day, at 1 in the afternoon, I was a puddle on the bathroom floor. Pregnant. No, I did not accept this information gracefully.
I LOVE OUR LIVES! I love our family! My girls are so danged fun and easy now! Dave and I get out on bike rides together, we aren’t tied down by naps, we had plans for a 10-year anniversary vacation — our very first solo vacation since Delaney was born. All of that is on pause now. A very, very long pause.
Now, to all of you who were just about to blurt out, “You’ll be fine!” or “You’re blessed!” Or “It will all work out!” I KNOW THAT! In my more peaceful moments, I’m so danged excited to snuggle a baby again! The snuggling is not the stressful part of this. And it IS stressful!
Here are the things I’m excited about…
* Delaney and Allie being big sisters to a baby. To me, this is the number one reason to feel joyful. My two girls are going to be amazing! And loving!
* I get to go through labor again. I love labor! I know, crazy. I’m not one of those natural-birth moms at all. I just love labor and delivery!
* The surprise. We never find out the gender of the baby and I LOVE that moment in the hospital when you discover who is joining your family.
* Snuggles. Snuggles snuggles snuggles snuggles.
* Firsts: First smile, first tooth, first foods, first words.
* I’m even looking forward to those 2 a.m. feedings when it’s just me and this tiny being enjoying that beautiful mother/child bond.
One of my friends asked, “Did you do this because you’re running out of material for MA!?” Another said, “This could be a great business write-off!” LOVE IT! I’m already collecting ideas. Lay ‘em on me.
So, my friends, here we go. Just when I think it’s time to write about being a soccer mom, I get to go back and write about sore nipples.
Here we go!
Gretchen White
Congratulations! What a wonderful surprise.
Your love shack will be bursting. You’ll need a car that seats about 20, and you won’t have an extra juke box money. But you’ll be together.
Lori in Denver
Well, that’ll teach you to write about vacuuming.
I am in a similar situation as you (without the pregnancy) — my kids are 8 and 6. I can’t imagine the mental and material adjustments that I’d have to make if another was suddenly on the way.
But I *do* know the adjustments would get made. And now you have blog material again, aside from your small appliances!
“Jackpot” is a nice name.
JoAnn
Oh, wow! Talk about a shock!
My father-in-law is 20 years younger than his brother. Great-grandma always muttered something about “that vacation to Bad Medicine Lake…we just HAD to take a vacation…” under her breath.
And, I don’t know about you, but I think there should be a more convenient way to get more blog fodder. 😉
Just kidding!
You’ll be fine! It will all work out! (because hearing it one more time is so much fun.) 😉
Jeanette
Congratulations! Some friends of ours just had a daughter who graduated from college. Because of this, they included a poem in their last newsletter. The poem is by Karen Kingsbury and the title is “Let Me Hold You Longer.” The main theme is that we always celebrate the “firsts” and don’t think about the “lasts.”
This is taken from the newsletter, “Not long ago, Karen’s son, Austin, ran and jumped into her arms, and wrapped his legs around her waist. The two rubbed noses and Austin whispered into her ear, “I love you mommy.” Then he slid down and ran to play. As he left, Karen realized that he was getting almost too big, to heavy for her to hold that way. She looked outside at her older son, Tyler, on the verge of middle school, and she thought back. At some point Tyler had run to her and jumped into her arms like that for the last time. The very last time.”
Anyway, my point is not to wish the growing up time to go too fast, because it does, and to cherish all the “lasts” as much as you do the “firsts.”
meliss
congrats! i understand your apprehension, my surprise was born in September, and hubby had been laid off a couple months before we found out. kinda stressful. he is #4 but our only boy.
the girls will be such a big help, baby will have extra little mama’s to look after it (and change diapers). i tend to not like having my plans changed on me either, but some surprises turn out pretty great.
Amber's Crazy Bloggin' Canuck
You reacted just how I would at this stage if I got pregnant. And you’re correct–it’s all about blog fodder, right? 🙂
Erin Lewallen
First, Congratulations on #3! How exciting for you and your family if a little stressful :). Just a hint (you might already know this) for the maternity insurance.
We didn’t have maternity insurance when I had my daughter. My advice is to talk to your OBGYN now and work out a plan, my dr. had us pay a lump sum that included all check ups, ultrasounds (3), delivery and post-natal checkups and was less than if I paid for each visit individually and we also did this at the hospital a month or so before I delivered. It saved us some money and also don’t forget to pay for the peditirician check ups those first few days you and the baby are in the hospital in advance too. We didn’t do this and got a large bill a few months afterwards.
Hope this helps and enjoy your new little one!
Janalee
Thank you all soooooo much. Jeanette, the little snippet of the story you shared made me weepy. Thank you so much for the beautiful perspective-setter. I keep reminding myself every day that this really IS the last time I get to be pregnant… I need to revel in every moment of it.
This has been so warming! Thank you all!
Janalee
jen
Oh Lordy, you’re handling this better than I would! LOL! I may have stayed in a puddle on the bathroom floor! Good luck hon! And congrats. 🙂
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