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Team Edward vs. Jacob–Twilight Played Out in Real Life

I was on a trail run recently when I started pondering the complexities of life. I felt gratitude for where I am today and thought of those who had a part in forming who I have become.

OK, I’m talking ex-boyfriends. It sounded better when I sugar-coated it.

I’m really not one to dwell on the past. I have 30 wonderful years of pre-marriage memories but I truly am happy as a married woman. I did not have my first serious boyfriend until my freshman year of college and we were together five years. After that, great guys came and went. I traveled the world with them and they become intrinsically connected to my love of the mountains as Southern Utah’s deserts became our balm.

In my mid-20s, I met someone who would weave in and out of my life for the next several years. He was different. He was tall, dark, handsome, athletic, successful and passionate. Many people didn’t “get” him because his prose was of another generation and his intensity made them nervous. I was swept up in another world whenever we were together.

But we were different. Really different. We had divergent goals and religious affiliations. Things I valued. Things I wanted. When the bridge would seem too big to cross, we would break up, only to gradually find our way back together again.

He was my Edward.

In Twilight, Edward Cullin is beautiful, intense, passionate and protective. But as a vampire, he is also unattainable. Mere mortal Bella fell for him–who wouldn’t? He was every girl’s dream and that’s why we have all fallen hard for him. They broke up over the impossibility of the situation but in the end, surmised they could not live without each other.

Then there are the Mike Newtons of the world. Those good guys on the sidelines who vie for our affections but–as much as we want to–we can never love them in that way. I had a few Mikes over the years and they still remain a cherished part of my life.

At last, there is Jacob Black. Sweet, funny, a ray of sunshine and loving. He would have given Bella the life she deserved, not the life she sacrificed everything to live with Edward. Sure, author Stephanie Meyer made Bella’s transformation into a vampire coven seem desirable and idealistic. But she gave up the very core of her being to be with him. And how does that often turn out in the real world?

It’s called divorce.

When I met my husband, I was still tangled up in the Edward web and was trying to break free. Jamie was supportive, patient, sweet, grounded, wise and loving. Most importantly, he shared my same goals and I knew I would be able to live out my dreams with him.

My “Edward” and “Jacob” proposed to me the same week and even “Mike” came out of the woodwork at the last minute.

In the end, I chose Jacob.

I have never faltered in my decision. Though I felt very connected to Edward and cherished Mike, we never would have been able to make each other happy. So, today I am declaring myself a member of Team Jacob.

Well, at least in the real world. 🙂

Are you Team Edward, Jacob or Mike? In your personal life, who have you chosen over the years?

Amber Johnson
Author: Amber Johnson

Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

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Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.


  1. Team Edward! Though you thought process makes me rethink my strategy a bit. Maybe I am Team Jacob after all!

  2. I am glad you ended up with your Jacob. Having the same dreams, ideals and goals is the only way to make it through this earth life.

  3. The way I met my husband and the way we dated and how fast we got married… All the adjustments I made to live with him, the paradigms that I broke.

    I am all for Edward’s team.


  4. All right. So, Edward is in the lead. 🙂

  5. I’m not sure. My Jacob was the love interest that would come and go, only when I needed him the most; yet my heart was never really into it. Which, if you think about it, is a lot like Bella and how she treats Jacob! Sure, this guy loved me, and sure, I truly cared for him. But my heart belonged to someone else.
    I just hadn’t met him, yet.
    And when I met him, my Jacob did not take to it very well. Luckily, we are still friends (he’s married with kids; I’m married with kids; our only contact is basically family Christmas newsletters, etc.).

    But I don’t know if you could call my husband an “Edward”, you know? But he did change the way I saw things. If I had married my Jacob, I would have been such a jerk to him (knowing he would do anything for me), and I love how much I’ve changed and improved with my husband. Sometimes he’s hard on me (and holy cow, am I hard on him!), but it works for us, and after 10 years of marriage, we’re still going strong.

    So…after these ramblings of mine, I would say I’m Team Edward.

    Sorry! 😉

  6. Edward!

    Being with Hubs went against every SINGLE damn thing I was ever taught growing up.

    Absolutely worth it, though. 🙂

  7. Having recently read the whole Twilight saga in it’s entirety, it’s hard to argue with the ending she wrote. Through Eclipse, I just wanted to tell Bella to make up her mind already! 🙂

    I’m going Team Edward. In marriage, we are always making sacrifices for our spouses. When you are married, you are not two but one. Love can look crazy from the outside, but when you’re in it, it makes all the sense in the world. Ultimately, their love brought out the best in both of them… We should each be so lucky.

    Here’s to love AND great romance.

  8. It’s really interesting to hear everyone’s take on love, relationships and marriage. For many, Edward is “the ideal, the true love” and the author wrote it in a way that all worked out in the end. But I just really couldn’t help thinking that even though relationships ARE all about sacrifice, how much do we need to sacrifice to make it work? I think Bella gave way too much. In real life, it doesn’t work out like that.

  9. Team Jacob on both accounts. I never really had an Edward type relationship but alot of Mike’s with a bit more brooding from some. The same weekend?! Three people came after you on the same weekend, holy cow you are one hot item! But I doubt it was much fun.

  10. My dating life was feast or famine. Looooooong periods of famine but the moment you declare yourself off the market? The feast begins!

  11. TEAM EDWARD ALL THE WAY!!!! I can’t wait to find my own Edward. He made me melt. BUT I’m glad you picked Jacob, otherwise we wouldn’t have been sister-in-laws!!!!

  12. well, since my husbands name is jacob… 😉
    I think I’m split. Thinking back on it, my dad was totally fine with my choice, my mom, not so much. She resisted, big time. But after I explained things to her she came to her realization that we were right together. We have differences, but those have only helped us to grow. But he also makes me laugh and makes me happy. so yeah… that didn’t make much sense… real life i’d say more team jacob… book, definitely edward.

  13. Funny how what we want out of movies is so different than what we end up choosing in real life. Not necessarily a bad thing!

  14. I’m a passion player, and so far so good…meeting my Edward in high school helped – gave us time to grow up together and time for me to tame him a bit;) There’s enough Jacob in him to make him forever material, but enough Edward to keep us exciting!

  15. I think I’m going to be the first one to say I chose Mike! Although I haven’t read the series, and am just going off your description, I would say I played it safe and chose the nice guy. Although, I guess he’s partly my Jacob too because one of the reasons I also chose him is because we share the same values and dreams. To me, those are key in a marriage.

  16. Amber, I didn’t see Sawyer anywhere on this list, so I’m afraid I can’t participate. LOL!

  17. I’d say Team Jacob. Though there’s still a soft spot in my heart for Edward.

  18. Erm …. a) none of the above. I married … well … someone who doesn’t fit into any of those descriptions. B) I haven’t read the Twilight series (yet) so am not sure if my hubby fits into any of the character profiles.

    At the risk of sounding like a floosie, I had many men on the go when I met my husband. I was very drawn to him because he was the only man that wouldn’t let me have my own way all of the time and I could just let loose and be me. Fifteen years later, we are still going strong and I feel truly blessed for it.

  19. It’s nice to hear good marriage story’s now days. Marriage is give and take. I was married 47 years before my wife passed away. Some good some bad but over all it is not what i expected it to be. a lot of people ask me how i was married so long and if their were ever times i wanted out? my answer? “Sticking together and no” sure times were very hard at first but we fought threw together. I often joke about it saying you did not dare get a divorce back then but the truth is i married her for a reason and no matter how bad things got( waking up to lamps being thrown at me or her desires at numerous times to sneak off and see what life would be like if we had not got married) i stayed with her. And she stayed with me threw all my trials and tribulations. I have been married more then half my life and i contribute my success and the success of my children and grandchildren to the fact that the two of us stuck together for so long. i look at all the young kids today getting married then divorced so rapidly has just become the way. “it’s a new millennium” people say “new rules”. well God’s laws have always been the same in the good book and in my book. I was shocked when i found out that Grace Chapel’s Sr. Pastor John Zivojinovic’s daughter was getting a 2nd divorce in as many years. I wonder how this can be acceptable? when did God’s law stop being God’s law? I am carious as to what is going on with both marriages for either party to give up so soon. from what i overheard the latest husband was making death treats and was jobless for months. What makes a man make treats to a woman he vowed to spend the rest of his life with months after they took an oath before God? Have they tried consoling? if so for how long? it seems to me their is more behind this story then the one sided argument i overheard. I will no longer attend Sunday services at Grace Chapel and my prayers go out to both parties. i will miss Pastor Zivojinovic’s sermons but i can no longer sit and worship along side people who change God’s law to fit their own personal idea of what worship and marriage is!

  20. im in team jacob he is cute an hotter than jacob

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