Mile High Mamas is teaming up with the sure-to-be hit movie He’s Just Not that Into You to bring you a contest that will allow you to vent your lovelorn frustrations. We want to hear about the time when you got dumped or realized “He’s just not that into you.” All entries will receive general admission passes to the movie’s pre-screening on Tuesday, February 3rd. Three winners will be republished on Mile High Mamas and they and a guest will receive reserved seats at the pre-screening.
I have not always been the very epitome of romantic idealism you see before you (just work with me here). In college, I had a crush on a guy we’ll call Rett Meaty (name has been changed to protect the not-so innocent). Rett was hunky, funny, completely clueless and had women fawning all over him. He worked on campus at 4 a.m. and a girl in his complex drove him every day. “No worries,” she would say. “I’m awake at 3:30 a.m. anyway to go running at the track.” The track that did not open until 5:30 a.m.
But he wanted me. Or at least I liked to think so. We hung out regularly but there had been no romantic professions. Rett worked hard to get through school but was really poor. At one point, my mom sent him $20 to take me out to dinner. Imagine how thrilled I was when he came back to exclaim, “Hey, thank your mom for that money. Now I don’t have to donate plasma this month.”
Clueless.
I decided I would give good ol’ Rett one last chance. If he asked me out for Valentine’s Day, there would be hope. We continued to hang out every day but nothing happened. My confidence started to fade but then I received The Call on February 13th: Would I go out with him for an evening of whimsical fun and romance the next evening? OK, so maybe he didn’t exactly say that but surely his invitation of attending a movie for his biology class on campus was just a cover, right?
I primped, I plucked. I was ready for him to declare his undying love for me. I picked him up and he directed me to campus but I was still not deterred. Maybe he had setup a surprise dinner for us on top of the Romey Building. Or perhaps he had stashed a series of clues for me to follow, only to be rewarded in the end by a giant smooch.
I got out of the car and he directed me to the biology building. We entered the theatre and settled in to watch a biology film. And it was not just any biology film. It was:
Fetal Development: A Nine Month Journey.
That was the last I ever saw good ol’ Rett again.
Now, it’s your turn! Simply leave a comment and tell us your story or if you need a bit more privacy and space, email us at [email protected] (limit: 500 words). Winners will be published the week of Valentine’s Day and all entries will receive a general admission pass to He’s Just Not That Into You on February 3rd at the Denver Pavillions. Contest deadline is January 31, 2009.
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About He’s Just Not That Into You: Based on the wildly popular bestseller from “Sex and the City” scribes Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, “He’s Just Not That Into You” tells the stories of a group of interconnected, Baltimore-based twenty- and thirtysomethings as they navigate their various relationships from the shallow end of the dating pool through the deep, murky waters of married life, trying to read the signs of the opposite sex… and hoping to be the exceptions to the “no-exceptions” rule.
Author: Amber Johnson
Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.
Momma, The Casual Perfectionist http://thecasualperfectionist.com
Oh no! Clueless sounds like an understatement! Be sure to check the email inbox for the recount of my own eyeopening experience. 🙂
Terra
my oh my, we have all been clueless now and then haven’t we! I dated a guy when I was about 18 or 19 that only liked to “stay home” never really wanted to go out, he played hockey, lived downtown with his MOM in a highrise was so stinking adorable…I “stayed home” with him all the time, went to his hockey games, drove right on over when he called…for about 5 months before I clued in…His mom was often home when I got there, he spent more time in front of the mirror than any girl I know and well, I guess I was clueless…he just wasn’t that into me. Oh well. Live and learn right.
emily
Lol – I love that you call your husband the Lord of the Gourds. That just cracks me up.
I think we’ve all been there. And if not? ….I find that hard to believe. Ah, this will be a funny movie.
http://www.thesassylime.com
Amber Johnson
Live and let learn is right!
Casual Perfectionist–got your submission. Definitely hilarious. Keep those stories coming!
Annie
I knew they were not that into me when they turned out to be gay!
Not once, not twice, but three times.
I guess they figured that if they couldn’t be attracted to me, they couldn’t be attracted to ANY female. HA!
Sarah
I was best friends with this guy all through high school: typical quarterback on the football team, wrote songs on his guitar, and drove a pickup truck. Over the course of 4 years he dated all of my friends, but I still hung in there convinced he would realize that I was the clear choice. We went on double dates with friends where he paid and hung out all the time, but we never called it dating. When he finally asked me to senior prom I got too excited and thought maybe something would come of it. When nothing did (I actually ended up crying the whole night because he didn’t pay, dance with me, or pick me up on time so we missed almost all of pictures), I hung on after graduation. I got so frustrated that I told him (a month before he moved to California for school) he needed to pick what we were going to be: friends or more. He decided more for that night, and then didn’t talk to me for days after. You always feel stupid after the fact that you hung in all that time, when he wasn’t worth it after all. If he’s acting like a jerk, he’s obviously JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! But I won’t be wasting that much time on a guy like that again. 🙂
Anonymous
Just like all other high school girls, my friend Isabell and I liked to hang out at the mall after school, shop, try on clothes and mostly check out cute guys.
As we passed the Sunglass Hut one day, Isabell pointed out this really dreamy looking guy. We both went in to talk to him and his name was Rene`(how unique and interesting). As we spoke to Rene` he became even more interesting to us. He was older, tall, dark hair, had a job AND a car. He gave me his number (Yay!) and he also gave Isabell his number too (Hmmm). He called me that night and the next night. Isabell said she wasn’t going to talk to him anymore if he called because he seemed more into me then her, and well…her and I were friends and he was just a guy.
So great, I talked to Rene` we had interesting conversations about things I can’t remember now but seemed so great at the time and then he called again a couple days later and in the conversation he mentioned that Issy told him that I liked him and that she was backing off. So he was curious as to how much I liked him. I said I liked him ok, and then he asked if I liked him more the Isabell did. I told him that I wasn’t sure and then asked him why he wanted to know. He responded (and this part I remember), “Well I just want to know who likes me more because that is the girl I’ll go out with”. My responce? I told him I thought he should call Isabell. Creep!
As an update, I ran into that guy several years later at the mall…and he was still working at the Sunglass Hut. LOL
Born2Shop
The above Anonymous comment was from me…I hit submit before remembering to add my name. 🙂
Beth Partin
I once had a thing for a guy for 3 years, on and off. During the last “on” part, I decided to move to KC with him and told him so. Things got worse between us, however, and after a few months I was thinking of breaking up with him. When he figured that out, he broke up with me so he could do it first! Trouble was, we were living together and I wanted to stay in the apartment. So then he resorted to threatening to throwing everything of mine out on the street, getting a new girlfriend, etc. Didn’t occur to him that if he was unhappy, he should leave…oh well. I ended staying in a friend’s house for a while.
I realized later that he had probably asked me to move in with him because his old (male) roommate was moving out and he somehow managed to rationalize it to himself.
It was a hard lesson, but one well worth learning.
http://bethpartin.com
serf 'rett
Are you from Canada? If you were from the South, then you’d know the correct spelling is “Rhett”. I’m the only ‘rett that I’ve ever met. For a moment there I had to think back to my college days and run through a mental list to check if I’d ever dated a Crazy Canuck (I’ve always had an interest in foreign chicks). There was this one hot number from Saskatoon…sassy, smart, pretty heart shaped face, light reddish brown curly hair, built like a brick outhouse (just in case you need a Southern translation – “deluxe” proportioned anatomy)…
Nope, it couldn’t have been you.
I never took biology in college. If your Rett was an engineer, then you totally missed the point of the date. He was trying to let you know that he wanted you to be the mother of his babies!
serf 'rett
I wish someone would enlighten me on why a gal I once dated for several months would spend large amounts of time talking about how great her former boyfriend was.
Kagey
I have to confess to being the clueless one on more then one occasion. You know, the really good guy friend that everyone else can see totally digs me, but I can only see him as a friend? I was very blind, very naive. (Here’s hoping I’m not that way anymore?)
Born2Shop
What a fun conversation peice. It’s great to read all the other stories and look back and laugh at some of these moments in our lives. It really makes me appreciate the guy I have now that IS really into me. lol I think I’ll keep him! 😉
Momma, The Casual Perfectionist http://thecasualperfectionist.com
I agree with Born2Shop, this has been a great exercise in being thankful for what I have now.
I’ll never forget when I started dating my now-hubby, and he commented on my perfume. I was pleasantly shocked that he’d noticed, since my ex-bf was not very observant. I told one of my friends about it, and she laughed.
“[Your Ex-bf] wouldn’t have noticed that, would he?” she said. “I mean, you could have come in the room with a completely different head on your shoulders, and I’m not sure he would have noticed!”
We both laughed, because it was SO true! (How sad is that!?) Ha!
Terra
So glad I came back to read comments!!! This was fun, brought back many memories.
Tosha
I was definitely the clueless girl on more then one occasion and I did have a tendency of allowing my feelings to get involved to early. However, this is not going to be about me and I was clueless, but about how I was just not that into someone else.
So, here it goes:
A friend of mine introduced me to this guy and he was very nice, but not really my type. He called me all the time and would often leave gifts on my car. I was nice to him and told him he was a nice friend and that the gifts were not necessary in a friendship. I told him that since were friends, I would be on the look out for a nice girl for him. He would completely ignore me when I ever suggested we were just friends. I never did anything to make him think we were more then just friends. So, I finally had to stop any communication with him after he proposed to me!! My friend that introduced us had to make the terrible phone call to tell him, that I was just not that into him!! I felt terrible, but he would just not listen to me!!
fruitlady
I grew up in Colorado Springs and worked my summers in tourist attractions around town. In college I was working at one of the better known spots and fell hopelessly for the really not-so-attractive-but-there’s-something-about-him son of one of the owners. We were hanging out quite a bit after work, going to parties and what not, and I thought we were becoming an item. Then towards the end of the summer, one of my “friends” comes into work and talks about hooking up with this guy the night before and had the rug burns to prove it. Ouch. He some how convinced me it was nothing (really, I was that stupid) and we continued to see each other. End of the summer and he goes away to California to school. I stay on to work. We see each other over Christmas. Things seem to be going along fine. We have agreed to date other people during the year, so no big deal while he is away. After Christmas he calls one night and tells me how much he misses me. He really wants me to come out to California and visit him. We plan something over a long weekend and I convince my best friend to DRIVE there with me. We leave on a Thursday after classes around 1 in the afternoon. Traffic is moving right along, no hitches. We arrive in LA around 4:00 AM. We figure we’ll just head to his dorm and crash for a few hours before the weekend festivities get underway. Remember, he knew I was coming and had actually ASKED me to come. It was so great to arrive and find him in bed with some girl from his school. It really made for a fun weekend. Needless to say, I have an extremely hard head, but it took at least one more incident like this one with this guy to convince me to move on. Lucky for me I finally did. And really, not only was he not that into me, but he wasn’t all that good looking either.
Alison
Your tale reminded me of my “first love” who had been buried to the back recesses of my mind by time! Very similar story to yours, except that I biked home the Russian Exchange Student every afternoon (this was high school). He lived north, I lived south, which meant I put in about an hour on my bike every afternoon. Needless to say I was in good shape. I similarly figured it would come to a head when he asked me to prom (after about 6 months of bike rides and study dates). Finally I had to bring the issue up myself and he said he was going to be out of town for the weekend…I almost believed him. The good news was that my next love (and first real boyfriend) was a killer cyclist/skier type and if I hadn’t put in all those hours on the bike he would have left me in the dust!
Mon
Dating is tough enough as it is. I would argue that online dating is even harder. It should have a warning: not for the faint of heart. You put yourself on the line, defining your character traits with only a few words and a photograph, and hope that someone out in the big world finds you attractive enough to grace you with a “wink” or message. You email, you type out :-)’s and maybe you even meet. However, you quickly find that people believe they are entitled to throw respect and cordiality to the wind when it comes to meeting someone on the Internet. They think that they can say things in emails they would never say in person. This goes for men–and women, too, as I later discovered. The fairer sex is not without their share of booty calls, lies about their looks and stinging last remarks. Anyway, as I made my way through an almost impossible number of profile pictures and online winks, I counted the bad dates, good dates and even great dates. They all had one thing in common: they were all first dates. I grew to expect the emails telling me “it would never work out between us.” I was beginning to think that they were all “just not that into me.” That I didn’t have a chance. And sometimes dating feels that way. Soon enough, however, you meet the one that doesn’t fill your inbox with snide comments about your profile pictures, the one who actually cares about your favorite books and why you enjoy the outdoors. After giving date after date my abridged life history and a shot at romance, I think I just may have found someone who likes me for who I am; someone who really is “just that into me.” 🙂
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