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Our Adoption Story–The Beginning

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In honor of National Adoption Month, we are pleased to hear from Melissa. She moved to Colorado at the tender age of 19 and currently resides with her wonderful husband and herd of canines. After trying for a year to get pregnant after they wed, they started their adoption journey. A funny twist of fate as she found out as an adult that she herself was an adopted county baby. Melissa blogs about their life and times at Full Circle.

Darling Husband and I met in 2001 via an online dating service. By the time we actually met in person I had been in the singles scene for several months and was pretty much over it. Being single in your early 30s is not for the faint of heart and DH was my third first date that week. It was insane and I was absolutely exhausted. I had been on a mission to find someone I could envision being more than just a pud on my couch (and not completely psycho). You would think I wasn’t asking for much. Think again! Completely disgusted by what all was out there I came close to canceling our lunch date and taking an extended hiatus from dating. Not wanting to be a last-minute flake I begrudgingly went.

As soon as I laid eyes on him, I was glad I did.

We wed in 2006 and, as soon as that ring hit my finger, the Baby Making Plan was set into motion. Now in my late 30s I was very aware we were starting our family late. The pressure was on. I gave us a year to conceive the old-fashioned way and if in that time we did not, Plan B would be put into action.. adoption. My big fear was that we would try and try to no avail then wake up five years down the line sans kids. We were going to have a family one way or another.

The following year I was all about Basal Thermometers, Ovulex, zero caffeine, eating right and Clear Blue Easy EVERYTHING. I morphed into the girl obsessed with becoming pregnant. Never in a million years did I think I would become “that girl” but boy howdy, did I ever.

The first six months the doctors told us not to fret.. sometimes it just takes time. As each month ground along and it became clear yet again I wasn’t pregnant, the tears would come and sadness would set in. I felt pangs of failure. Tests were run to make sure everything was normal and they showed no signs of issues. Suggestions were made to try IVF but we declined. I have friends that have gone that route with great success but that just wasn’t for us. We were doing this old school.

When our year was up with no conception, Plan B was set into motion. I will not lie, I wanted nothing more than to have a baby with my husband’s beautiful hazel eyes and my kooky sense of humor. I wanted to experience the miracle of life firsthand. The reality is, we don’t always get what we want and it’s not in our hands. I was not going to let not being able to get pregnant ruin our little life… it wasn’t going to get the best of me.

All along I had been doing my research on the different types of adoption (private, international, fost/adopt, open vs closed, etc) “just in case”. I found people that had gone through the different processes and picked their brains about their own journey. I went online and researched. As obsessed as I was to get pregnant I was with finding the right adoption program for us. I bounced my findings off DH and listened to his thoughts and feelings on the subject matter. It was a team effort.

What spoke to our hearts was the fost/adopt program with a local county. Although it’s not the county we live in, after doing our homework we were immediately impressed by their total commitment to their children, their stellar reputation and their genuine love for what they do. There were 400 children in their foster program, these kids are in our backyard.. .for us, it was a no brainer.

The deal was not done just yet. It’s a huge decision and DH still needed more information. On December 5th, 2007 we attended a Family Share Night put on by the county. It was set up like speed dating. We sat at a table of about 12 people and someone involved with the program would sit down, give their story and field questions. Social workers, foster only families, fost adopt families, families that adopted special needs kids, etc. After 10 minutes or so a bell would ring and they were on to the next table. It was a fantastic way to get a feel for all different aspects of the program and have the tough questions answered.

On our way home, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, DH agreed this was the program for us and to sign up for training. After what felt like I had been holding my breath for a year, I finally exhaled. It wasn’t the road I ever imagined we would be taking to start a family of our own, but it had finally begun. For once, progress!

That very moment was the first real step of our adoption journey.

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National Adoption Day is a collective national effort to raise awareness of the 129,000 children in foster care waiting to find permanent, loving families. For the last eight years, National Adoption Day has made the dreams of thousands of children come true by working with courts, judges, attorneys, adoption professionals, child welfare agencies and advocates to finalize adoptions and find permanent, loving homes for children in foster care.

Celebrated in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, more than 300 events are held each year throughout the country to finalize the adoptions of children in foster care, and to celebrate all families who adopt. In total, more than 20,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day. This year, National Adoption Day will be Saturday, November 15, 2008.

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Comments
  • comment avatar Amber Johnson November 7, 2008

    Melissa, thanks for sharing your story! I’m so looking forward to following it until the day you have a child in arms.

  • comment avatar Kari November 7, 2008

    Thanks for sharing your story. Fost/Adopt seems like a great way to go. There are already so many wonderful children in the system who need loving homes.

  • comment avatar Kari November 7, 2008

    P.S. I hope it works out for you soon!

  • comment avatar Nature Deva November 7, 2008

    My husband and I are in the process of doing this exact program in the same county! We go to the speed-meeting to hear the stories on 12/2. I’d love to hear more about where you are now on the journey since we are at the beginning (doing the training month soon). We do have a 4.5 year old son and are hoping to adopt someone younger than him, maybe a toddler.

    Thanks for sharing!

    – Melissa http://naturedeva.net

  • comment avatar MELISSA D November 7, 2008

    Thanks everyone!! We were certified in July and currently await “The Call”.. total pins and needles, let me tell ya!

    Melissa ~ HOW EXCITING!! Family Share Night is amazing as is the training. I’ve been in touch with Cindy to see if they need volunteers so maybe we’ll see each other! If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me!
    :o)

  • comment avatar Kagey November 7, 2008

    Your story reminds me that however we become parents, our kids will never understand what we went through to get them, how precious they are to us before we’ve even seen them.
    I certain didn’t understand the depth of my parents’ love — until I became a parent myself!

  • comment avatar Lori November 7, 2008

    I spent months maniacally checking my answering machine for The Call.

    I just know you and your husband are going to be great parents.

    So nice to see more of your story here!

  • comment avatar Momma, The Casual Perfectionist November 7, 2008

    What a great post! I can’t wait to read more! 🙂

    ~Momma
    http://thecasualperfectionist.com

  • comment avatar A. November 7, 2008

    My husband and I just adopted a beautiful baby girl this last July! Adoption is such a precious and beautiful way to have a family and one that bonds adoptive families together in a way that is unique and fantastic. We did a private, domestic adoption and the one thing that gets overlooked a lot is the wonderful people who are the birth parents of our children. These women (and often men) our bold and courageous and so loving. I am in debt to our birth mother, I can’t express my gratitude enough. Where do I find out more information on the events celebrating adoption this month?

  • comment avatar Melissa D November 11, 2008

    Congratulations, A.!!! Here is a link to events happening for National Adoption Day:

    http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/2008/events/index.asp

  • comment avatar angela michelle November 12, 2008

    How exciting for you! We have four biological sons and a foster/adopt daughter. We also fostered another daughter who went home with her birth parents after 5 months. Isn’t it crazy when you’re waiting for the phone call that could change your whole life. It was so surreal when I called my husband at work to say, “Um, so they’re bringing a new foster daughter over.” She was at the table when he got home from work and she’s never left!
    presseddownandshakentogether.blogspot.com

  • comment avatar Ann November 16, 2008

    My husband and I are reading, listening and learning as much as we can about adoption. I am so glad that there are people out there willing to talk about their journey. I look forward to reading more and connecting with others on this.
    The beginning stages are so emotional.

    annonandon.blogspot.com

  • comment avatar Jen December 14, 2008

    My husband and I are in the process of waiting for “the call” as well. We were approved for adoption the day after Mother’s Day this year and can’t wait to become parents. We’re adopting domestically and I have been blogging about the experience including the adoption process.

    http://waitingforbambino.blogspot.com/

  • comment avatar De Anne December 29, 2008

    Hi,

    We have finally received our adoption date to finalize everything. We received our son into our hearts when he was 5 weeks old from Denver County and we are finally at the end of the part of the journey 4 years later. We have 4 bio daughters and our one son.

    I wish everyone luck on their journey.

    http://deebarker.blogspot.com/

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