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Whatever the outcome of the election, the grandkids will not live with me

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It is the Sunday night before the election. It’s hard to tell what this coming week will bring. These ramblings will post the day after the election. I am hoping that there will be a clear-cut winner. I don’t want a repeat of the ambiguity we went through during a previous election. Come Wednesday(today) I want to be either shooting fireworks off my roof or drowning my sorrows in what is left of the Halloween candy.

Just like this election, it’s also hard to predict how my kids will turn out. I want them to be happy, successful, productive adults. But, if my grown-up kids aren’t sending me on exotic trips and paying for my cataract surgeries, I, at the very least, hope that I raised them well enough to take care of their own kids.

I don’t want to raise my grandkids, I don’t want them to live with me, and I don’t want to ever be in a position where I have to discipline them. I just want to be the kind of grandma that spoils them, sugars them up, and sends them home.

My grandma drove a taxi cab, played the organ, and taught me how to play Bridge. I remember that she always had a dish of Jolly Ranchers on the kitchen table. Even to this day, I can’t smell coffee or watermelon-flavored Jolly Ranchers without thinking of her.

My kids are only nine, nine, and seven, but I don’t think it’s ever too early to explain what’s expected of them. I expect them to get good grades, do their chores, and raise their own kids. I want to avoid any misunderstandings in the future. I’ll baby-sit, I will help pay for piano lessons, but the grandkids cannot live with me!

I don’t know why I am worrying about this now. Maybe it’s because, as of the writing of this post, my life has a 53% chance of being pretty bleak the next four to eight years. Perhaps planning for my retirement is the only bright spot in my future.

No matter what my near future holds, whether it be fireworks or a chocolate-induced coma, at least one thing has been made clear, this future-grandma won’t be raising the grandkids. She’s got a Bridge game to play.


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  • comment avatar Amber Johnson November 5, 2008

    You crack me up and I feel the exact same way! I love my kids but guess what: when they’re out of the house, I want to be the cool grandma who takes them out for special playdates while having some quality time to myself for once!

  • comment avatar Awesome Mom November 5, 2008

    Enjoy your chocolate coma! I am digging ours out of the freezer.

  • comment avatar sheila November 5, 2008

    grandkids living with you, takes all the fun out of being the grandma.
    very funny and good message to teach while they are still young….always good to be clear with no misunderstandings!

  • comment avatar christy November 5, 2008

    Amen, sista! I feel like if I can’t raise my children to be productive and responsible parents, then I have failed as a parent. I’m going to be drowning my sorrows today in the Halloween candy and preparing for an onslaught of “gloating” from my parents who arrive tomorrow and have been brainwashed by “the dark side”….

  • comment avatar Suzanne November 5, 2008

    I totally agree about the not raising the grandkids.

    I have some extended family where there is a 35-year old adult and a 20-year old adult still living with their parents. The issue isn’t even grandkids yet because the “children” won’t even move out! Arg!

    I hope that my kids want to move out when they’re 18. Not because I don’t love them, but because I want them to be excited to have their own lives. And I want to be a part of their lives…just not on the other side of my bathroom wall.

    Yes to well-rounded children, growing up and moving away from home to create their own life and family. And yes to spoiling the grandkids once they do arrive! 😉

  • comment avatar nancy face November 5, 2008

    I’m with you, my friend…and I need some chocolate VERY badly!

  • comment avatar yvonne November 5, 2008

    The title of this post intrigued me ; )

    I’ve had some stay with–and that’s pretty great, but I’m with you on wanting my children to be able to take care of their own children. (I’m here to help when I’m needed)

    Hope you’re doing o.k. today.

  • comment avatar Tori :) November 5, 2008


  • comment avatar Heffalump November 5, 2008

    Pass the M&Ms please…

    I hope that I will be the kind of Grandma that I had as a kid, and not the kind my Mom turned out to be…

  • comment avatar chellie November 5, 2008

    I wish I loved chocolate… hmmm will it really put me in a coma? 🙂
    I hope that I can continue to give my kids the direction, love and support they need so that when they are parents – they will be good ones and I will be the fun, play-date grandma.

  • comment avatar Amy November 5, 2008

    Amen, sistahfriend. Aaaamen!

  • comment avatar Tiff November 5, 2008

    LOL…you and my mom are on the same page. 🙂 I keep inviting her to come with us on our family trips to (babysit) have lots of fun with us, and she won’t do it. I keep saying, “It’ll be fun!” and she’s all…”I already did the sherpa thing, now it’s your turn”. I even offer to pay her way and she won’t have any of it. She’s got her own life to live, darn it!


  • comment avatar annoyedmama November 5, 2008

    No offense, but this post is pretty inane.

  • comment avatar Annie November 5, 2008

    Annoyed- None taken. Writing inane posts is the least of problems. I’m a nail biter, too!

  • comment avatar Anonymous November 5, 2008

    I love it!

    When my kid/kids are all grown-up and married, it will be VERY clear that if my grand kids’ ever go into day care or anyone other than them are watching them all day, they will not get a cent of inheritance from me.

    And who doesn’t want to just be the fun grandma instead of the the disciplinarian?

  • comment avatar Shar November 5, 2008

    Anonymous was me. I forgot to fill out the form.

  • comment avatar trs November 6, 2008

    Ideally, yes you want your kids to take care of their own off-spring.

    But keep in mind, our president-elect was raised by HIS grandparents.
    It happens.
    My parents raised my nephew after my sister was killed. You just don’t know what life is going to bring.
    Isn’t it better for your kids to know you support them no matter what? What you expect of them – yes – but if the worst should happen you’re not going to cart their kids off to a state home (as if those exist anymore)

    The greater concern is the upcoming administration’s liberal stance on abortion – no one will have any grandkids anyway.
    Society is on decline. Once value for life is gone – there is no hope.

  • comment avatar Annie November 6, 2008

    trs- Too true. Too true. Well said.

    I have often being a lightning rod of controversy on this blog. When I sat down to think about what I was going to write about the day after a very heated election, I wanted to find something that the majority of people would agree with.

    I don’t know too many people, BARRING NECESSITY, who would want to raise their grandkids. It seem like a topic we could all agree upon, for once.

  • comment avatar trs November 6, 2008

    Oh absolutely. I didn’t mean to suggest anything to the contrary.

    Typically, we associate the need to raise one’s own grandchildren as a failure of the middle generation. And I would agree.

    I’m just saying that I’m so proud of my parents for stepping up just as they faced a well-earned empty nest.
    I also encountered plenty of people who found my family situation very odd. That my parents would adopt their grandchild.
    But then, a lot of people roam this earth never thinking that they might outlive their child either.

  • comment avatar No Cool Story November 7, 2008

    As meshed as I am with American culture, I am ok with young adults still living at home. As you know, it’s actually (in Latin America) desirable for them to remain home until married (it’s especially proper for young women) as long as they contribute towards the home, follow the rules and go to school.

    That said, I believe in “el casado casa quiere” and I want my grandkids to live in their own home with their own parents =)

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