background img

Soccer Moms Unite as a Soccer Mom is Born!

posted by:

[photopress:HaddieAlex_1.jpg,full,pp_image]Gretchen recently confessed she is the anti-soccer mom and refuses to enroll any of her six children in team sports.

Last weekend, I became a soccer mom for the first time. I am in the camp that loves sports. I have always loved sports. And I have always wanted my children to love sports. That said, I do not believe children should be pushed into activities they do not want to do. I believe in giving them a choice.

Unless that choice does not involve soccer.

In all seriousness, I debated waiting to enroll my daughter Hadley in soccer. At 4, she has done a myriad of sports that include gymnastics (her face and the springboard often met their match), dance (she performed an unscripted solo at the recital) and murder ball (her little brother is often the target).

But soccer is a sport Hadley really wanted to try. Last Saturday was her first game and my husband Jamie has been prepping her for weeks. His initial strategies centered around scoring and ball handling. But after a series of mishaps and subsequent tantrums, he instituted the No. 1 rule of soccer: “No crying.”

Someone should have told me that before we got completely massacred.

Haddie’s team was doomed from the start because 1) They played against a team who has been training together since birth and 2) Her team name is “The Butterflies.” There is absolutely no intimidation factor in a flittering insect whose lifespan is only a few days.

I will be campaigning to change it to “The Bruisers.”

I have always thought it is completely ridiculous that younger teams do not keep score. I reasoned how are you supposed to teach children about the dynamics of winning and losing in life if you don’t quantify it?

Until we lost. Big time.

After yet another goal by the other team, I groaned, “Oh no!” My friend Lisa leaned over and whispered, “At this age, you’re supposed to cheer when they score.” I countered, “Not after the 20th goal.”

It’s true. I read it somewhere in The Soccer Mom Handbook.

And how did my daughter do? Overall, she did pretty well and made some great plays. Her strategies were to 1) Yank on the other team’s jersey when she tried to get the ball and 2) Throw herself over Said Ball to prevent anyone else from getting it.

Because if she can’t take proper possession, no one can.

We were all becoming weary at the end of the game after the opposing team’s Beckham Jr. had yet another breakaway. I started to throw in the towel until a mom next to me jokingly shouted:

“Take her out at the knees.”

It was then I knew I had met my soccer mom soul mateโ€ฆ.

Are you a soccer mom or the anti-soccer mom? What sports are your children involved in? What funny memories do you have of their first game?

Amber Johnson
Author: Amber Johnson

Amber is the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas, travel writer and former columnist for The Denver Post. She is a passionate community builder and loves the outdoors. She has two awesome teens and is happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

You may also like
  • comment avatar FFG September 22, 2008

    I can’t wait to become a soccer mom. Like you, I think I’ll wait until Lexi is 4. Fun times ahead.

  • comment avatar Lisa September 22, 2008

    When my oldest played soccer (that one year) when she was 5, her interest was mostly in making birds nests out of the grass.

    We finally found that swimming worked for her and that is where she is now. (there is no sweating invloved in the water) Along with water polo with a lot of urging from her parents.

  • comment avatar Melissa September 22, 2008

    Soccer… ick. My oldest doesn’t really have that competitive edge and is WAAAAAY too polite. He’d be out there with the ball, someone else would come up and he would very kindly get out of their way. When I asked him about it he said he wanted everyone to have a turn with the ball. ๐Ÿ™‚ We did soccer for 2 years before he decided that he did NOT want to do it again. Ever. He doesn’t have a sport right now… but we’re hoping to find something…
    And yeah. I got a little crazy… but mostly at the other parents. We had one dad on our team that was so horrible… to his own kid. She was the youngest on the team and really? She needed to be in a dance class… every time she came in off the field he would yell at her. The mom was good about telling him to back off… but it was still hard to watch

  • comment avatar Amanda D September 22, 2008

    Fun post, Amber! I am a soccer mom. My oldest is in his 5th season of soccer and my daughter is in her 2nd season. They both love it. And I love watching! I’m glad that this is something that they want to do.

    I’m with you though on the scoring. For the first couple of years, I think it is fine. My son is almost 8 and they still don’t keep score. The thing is though that all the kids (and parents!) are keeping score. And at some point kids need to learn to win and lose.

    Good luck with the rest of the season!

  • comment avatar kari September 22, 2008

    Proud soccer mom, here. Have been for five years going strong. The first year? Pretty rocky but we stuck it out!

  • comment avatar kari September 22, 2008

    P.S. Haddie looks uber cute!

  • comment avatar kari September 22, 2008

    P.S. That picture of haddie is so cute!

  • comment avatar H. September 22, 2008


    I’m H. and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

    If you are interested, kindly mail back at [email protected], indicating your blog for reference, and I’ll send you back pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.



  • comment avatar Tanya September 22, 2008

    I cannot wait until Logan is old enough to participate in sports!! I plan to enroll him in tennis lessons this winter ๐Ÿ™‚ We’ll see how he does.

  • comment avatar Aimee Greeblemonkey September 22, 2008

    Declan just started soccer a few weeks ago. I like how his team is all about the skills and fun and not winning. The league doesn’t even keep score at this age. And of course, *I* like running around and taking their photos!

  • comment avatar Richelle F September 22, 2008

    The butterflies? That is too funny. Too bad they got massacred. Hopefully they will play a team closer to their level. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • comment avatar Beeeeeeeee September 22, 2008

    Not a S.M. yet, and I don’t know if my daughter will want to play or not. We’ll probably give it a try next year when she is four. For now ballet keeps us all pretty entertained. (And if you think ballet mamas aren’t competitive you would be very very sadly mistaken…)

  • comment avatar Lisa September 22, 2008

    I’m a first year soccer mom too! I actually have enjoyed their games because they’re usually on Sat. mornings. I first bemoaned my lack of sleeping in on the one day I could. Now, after our first make-up game for a rain out where I was eaten within an inch of my life by mosquitoes the size of bluejays, I’ll take the early mornings.
    My girls play pretty well, except somehow my 9 yr. old 4th grader got put on a team of 1st -3rd graders and she looks like a giant. I’m going to go look for the Benadryl cream now.

  • comment avatar diana/sunshine September 22, 2008

    yes, i was once a soccer mom. i think the younger kids are hilarious. i’ve seen it more than once, so my kid wasn’t the only one who would do this…

    sometimes my little one found more interest in picking at the grass or flowers and being totally oblivious to a game being played on the opposite end of the field. and then as the ball started making it’s way down to my kid, everyone (not just mom and dad) would be screaming to said kid to clue him in to the fact that he’s a player of the game and he’s about to see it up close and personal.

    i also remember a lot of skipping. there’s no SKIPPING in soccer =D

  • comment avatar GrumpyAngel September 23, 2008

    I’m neither a soccer Mom or an anti-soccer Mom. I was a jr league basketball Mom, and then a football Mom for about a year. Now I’m just a rock band Mom ๐Ÿ™‚ I tried to encourage my son to play sports becasue he has the build and the ability for it, but he prefers to be a musician. I guess I’m happy with it, except now I don’t have an outlet for my aggression ๐Ÿ™‚ Screaming at the sidelines during games was pretty cathartic, you know.

  • comment avatar Kagey September 23, 2008

    I didn’t do organized sports in childhood until middle school, so I’m pretty lost on all this stuff. My 4 yr old isn’t in soccer this year, but maybe next year?
    My 7 yr old, legally-blind nephew plays, though! He is always the goalie and they use a neon ball. My sister stands at his end and when it starts to yell “Here it comes!” when a player starts to get close with the ball.
    I’m glad he can participate, but I know he won’t be able to for very many years – the fully sighted players are going to get too good for that.

  • comment avatar tracey September 23, 2008

    Soccer’s tough… My son’s first year? They scored once. THE ENTIRE season!!

  • comment avatar Kimberly September 23, 2008

    I’ve been a soccer mom, but not this year! My daughter cried and cried when she played and my son LOVED it! Have a great season!

  • comment avatar Catherine September 24, 2008

    I’m a reluctant soccer mom. The kids are into it, so I will drive them all over creation and cheer for The Matrix or, if it’s Jonah’s team, The LIGHTNING. Sometimes I will cheer for their opponents, but that’s usually by accident. I’d much rather watch them in a concert hall or at spelling bee nationals… but who knows, maybe in a few years. They’re still young. Plus, I still have a 3 and 4-year old coming up the pike. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • comment avatar Lisa L September 24, 2008

    Love the picture of Alex and Hadley. They are sooooo cute!!! The season will get better. Maybe.

  • comment avatar Shannanb aka Mommy Bits September 26, 2008

    I am a total soccer mom, but not the crazy, nut-job type. I love sports and I ove that my son enjoys playing soccerr. I enjoy rooting for a team and cheering for him. I love the look on his face when he’s playing or when he’s just talking with his team mates. Seeing him feel a sense of accomplishment, it’s a natural high.

  • comment avatar click December 18, 2008

    embody overshot?Abyssinian beginners perfumes plumage behind,tumors

  • Pingback:Little Kickers, Big Parent Dreams: The Art of Surviving Summer Camp | Denver Mile High Mamas