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After September 11th: The Right Decision for Me

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I am beginning to think Amber has it out for me. First, I get the big night of the DNC, and then I look at the Mile High Mamas writing assignments for this month, and I have September 11th. Not that I mind writing about these big days, it’s just HARD. Because they bring out such strong emotions. And for 9-11, I am definitely going to skip the politics aspect – but I do want to remember all the families hurt by the atrocious events of that day. I hope you are finding some semblance of peace these seven years later.

For the rest of us not directly touched, if you have not already seen it, I highly recommend the documentary 9/11 by Jules and Gedeon Naudet, an even-keeled yet admittedly hard to watch film that has the only footage from inside the towers that day. My point being: We must never forget.

For myself personally, 2000 was a turning point in my life. Prior to that, I never thought I wanted children. At all. I mean, I always *liked* children, they’re cute and all, but didn’t think it was something that was I would ever do. My husband Bryan was right there with me. Around 2000, something in us changed. We started thinking about it. I have no idea why. But after a year of vaguely thinking about it, in 2001, we got determinedly serious about it. Oh, we still weren’t altogether ready or anything! We still were in the talking stages! But we were very close to flip-flopping on a life’s worth of convincing my mother she would never have grandchildren.

And then September 11 happened.

It was like all the air was sucked out my lungs. Did I want to bring a child into this? Was it even fair of me to think about?

In retrospect, that line of thinking almost seems silly, since – while many things have changed, most things have not. And even if they did, just think of what I would have missed by giving in to fear. Think of the wonderful little boy I would never have known. And maybe, just maybe, that little boy can help make things better for his generation. Who knows. Either way, I know he is making things really great (with a dash of infuriating sometimes) for his father and me.

Yes, we definitely made the right decision.

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