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Dental Drama of a Nauseated Mama

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My dental drama is finally over. Or at least my insurance is maxed out so that possible root canal will just have to wait.

For those who need a refresher, I went to the dentist after having Hadley (my firstborn) and discovered my Pukefest-for-a-Pregnancy had produced approximately 500 cavities. We started Operation Rotfest Repair but then found out I was pregnant with Bode so we had to hold off.

When I finally went back after Pukefest-for-a-Pregnancy No. 2, my cavities had blossomed into root canals and crowns, a veritable garden of decay in my mouth. This, for the girl who religiously brushes and flosses daily and who never even had a cavity until high school.

I have spent thousands of dollars repairing my teeth and countless hours shuffling between the endodentist and dentist. Tuesday was my final appointment. I have the drill down (pun intended) and have had the same room and dental assistant from the get-go. I was settling into my luxury recliner when a newbie walked in.

“Where is Pat?” I demanded, concerned over the disappearance of my favorite probing assistant.
“She is busy with someone else,” Newbie replied.

An office affair? I never imagined I would be the scorned lover. And so I was left with this, this, this virgin. One who did not understand I like to read my smut hard-news magazines throughout the entire appointment and that my salivary glands are the healthiest on the planet.

Translation: she would have to eternally use the spit-sucker because I have an overabundance of the “nectar of the gods.”

At least that is what the kissing book I gave my college freshman boyfriend called it.

After two hours of spit sucking, drilling and removing my sense of dignity as I was reduced to a drooling invalid, I limped out of there. One of my cavities’ depth loomed close to a nerve so I was forewarned I would have possible complications and a future root canal.

“Possible complications” was an understatement. Seven hours later, my lip was still numb, throbbing and three times its size. My daughter sympathetically observed, “Mommy, you have monster mouth.”

Hubby was more diplomatic. “You look just like Angelina Joie with those lips.”

Yeah, without the sultry pout and slinky legs. Lucky me.

The ailments continued to bedtime. Ever the concerned husband, he gave me some pain killers to knock me out. Only it had the adverse effect.

11 p.m. “Wow, I feel GREATTTTTTTTT!”
1 a.m. “Is this stuff supposed to make me feel like I am on Speeeeeeed?”
3 a.m. “Did you know there are 1,535 dots on the ceiling?”
4 a.m. The medicine finally wore off and I passed out.
6 a.m. Bode woke up. You do the math.

So for for now, I am relieved to say my dental drama is over.

At least until Pukefest-for-a-Pregnancy No. 3.

Am I alone in this? Did anyone else’s teeth suffer from your pregnancy?

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  • comment avatar Lin aka DA March 3, 2008

    It’s really a shame how pregnancy and hormones can impact teeth as much as they do, but at least you have your sense of humor to help get you through it all! 🙂

  • comment avatar Lauren March 3, 2008

    I can tell you used to write professionally as a travel writer. You are so witty and such a fun read.

    Sorry, about the pukefest that led to the “garden of decay” and then having to have a newbie because you were a scorned lover…at least you can blog about it, right?

    I think you are a VERY talented writer!

  • comment avatar Kari March 3, 2008

    Oh, sounds like NO fun!

    I’ve never yet had a root canal and hope I never have to, but I do have 2 crowns. Dental work is not only painful for the mouth, but for the pocketbook also — even WITH insurance!

  • comment avatar Hollyween March 3, 2008

    Whoa. I have to go to the dentist next week and you’re terrifying me!!! I have no dental insurance either. Oh, and YES… after my entire lifetime without cavaties, I got pregnant and boom… two! Not fair!

  • comment avatar Awesome Mom March 3, 2008

    I did not have any problems but Evan who puked a lot as an infant has already had to have two crowns and two fillings. I hate dentists.

  • comment avatar Amanda March 3, 2008

    I am so sorry! The dentist is totally my biggest fear. I don’t think that pregnancy did a number on my teeth… but I avoid the dentist at all costs. Ugh. We really should go in.

  • comment avatar Tanya March 3, 2008

    I didn’t have any problems with my pregnancy with Logan BUT my entire back broke out. It looks to be the same way this pregnancy. My next dentist appt. is in April so we’ll see if I’ve got cavities. Although I think I’ve been through enough dental hell this year.

  • comment avatar Amy March 3, 2008

    I’ve never had that problem personally, but my boss did . . . she just had her first baby and will heading out very soon to get a root canal and filings because of the damaged teeth she suffered during the pregnancy.

  • comment avatar Gina (mannyed) March 3, 2008

    wow, something to look forward to, huh. yea, um, no.

    you’re gonna look like a hockey player after all these pregnancies, lol! Just kidddding, I love ya.

  • comment avatar Lisa March 3, 2008

    I never heard that pregnancy can affect your teeth. Huh, who knew? I’ve had problem teeth my whole life, and just decided to forget about the dentist altogether 2 years ago. Unless it hurts, I’m not going there!

  • comment avatar Melissa March 3, 2008

    ohhhhh the price of pregnancy!

  • comment avatar so grateful to be mormon March 3, 2008

    can i have some of that med? he he. cute post girl. you made me giggle out loud when you talked about the newbie dental tech. ah, you are a hoot! take care girl, kathleen

  • comment avatar Cherrye March 4, 2008

    I’ve never heard about this teeth drama! Dio Mio…I have so much to learn.

  • comment avatar Andrea March 4, 2008

    oh ya. the teeth are in pain as we speak.
    why does pregnancy have to affect every single area of the body??

  • comment avatar Summer March 4, 2008

    Ah, I wish I could blame pregnancy for my dental woes. However, I have always gotten cavities. No matter how much I floss or brush I have at least two every year. Pregnancy hasn’t helped of course since I can’t get any work done for nine months, leaving my teeth to rot further. I’ve been going to the dentist pretty regularly as of late to take care of all the cavities that further developed during my last pregnancy. I hate going to the dentist.

  • comment avatar elasticwaistbandlady March 5, 2008

    It’s much much worse when you don’t have dental insurance. Then you feel pain at both ends–your mouth and your azz which you just signed over to your dentist for payment.

    I lost a filling and now the tooth is crumbling and there’s nothing I can do about it. I keep thinking that today’s dentures don’t look so bad. These are not your grandma’s dentures!

  • comment avatar mo mommy March 5, 2008

    I am SO relieved to know it’s not just me!!! they just yanked my back two teeth instead of trying to fix them. I puked and puked, then I’d try to brush my teeth and that would make me puke again, it was awful! And I have lame teeth to begin with.
    And I’m an obsessive flosser/brusher too!
    I’m still in need of serious work, but even though we have insurance we don’t have enough extra $$ to make up the difference, ya know? Ugh, YOU know….

  • comment avatar Anonymous March 5, 2008

    My mother (who is 58 with impeccable dental hygiene) stopped going to the dentist 7 years ago and now needs 7 extractions (root canal won’t save them) due to serious periodontal disease. Wish she hadn’t been so worried about spending money on prevention.

  • comment avatar Lizzy March 5, 2008

    I’m lucky enough not to puke more than once with each pregnancy. Nope, instead my body retains every single calorie, and holds onto it with a death grip for at least a year after the baby is born. And I’m guessing my body just doesn’t have enough room for all those calories because I end up carrying 10% of the fat pads in my nose. YES, I get a fat honker with every kid that lasts for up to a year after birth. At least you can close your mouth. How do you hide a hideous schnoz?

  • comment avatar jodi jean March 5, 2008

    i’m pretty sure i need to go to the dentist … i’ve just been avoiding it too long. sheesh!

  • comment avatar Shawn C March 5, 2008

    I was 1 month pregnant when my dentist told me I needed a cavity filled….I couldn’t gett he needle thing (yuck anyway!) so I said I would wait. By the time I had my daughter, that tooth was toast….they tried to save it – no luck. They suggested rebuilding it through a root canal – no go.

    So, they asked if I cared if they removed it. DUH!! YES I CARE!! But, as they tried to save it – it crumbled into a gazillion bits…..and then they went in to pry the root out.

    HO-LEE-S**!! The dentist basically had to STAND on my chair holding these pliers attached to the root and yank so hard I felt like he would take my sinuses with him!!

    I feel your pain, Amber!!

  • comment avatar serf 'rett March 13, 2008

    Had no problem with my teeth during the three pregnancies. 😉
    Serf ‘rett

  • comment avatar Caloden March 15, 2008

    After three pregnancies, spaced over the span of 11 years, I know my dentist far too well. It is a true injustice to those of us who carry dental floss in our purses and brush after every meal. I hope all the pain and expense will give us Osmond-like choppers in the next life.

  • comment avatar Joy April 18, 2011

    Oh my gosh! I can totally relate to Pukefest-for-a-Pregnancy. It’s awful! After my first pregnancy I had a few cavities and some “spots they were watching.” I know I am late to finding this post (just came across your blog – very fun!) but also wanted to share this site (Mom’s Guide to Caring for Little Teeth) I came across for caring for kids teeth. I want to spare my son having any cavities. I hated the sounds and smells of getting a tooth filled! I’m scared for the dental appointment after my 2nd is born.

  • comment avatar Joy April 19, 2011

    Apparently I am not very tech savy so I didn’t post the link right. It really has been a help so I wanted to repost it here to any who are interested: Mom’s Guide to Caring for Little Teeth

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