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It Makes Me Feel Normal. Kinda.

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My son Declan has a very strict bedtime routine – completely of his own invention. When I tell you about it, please do not think we are nuts. (Just think of all the crazy stuff you have done for your kids.)

Every night, every bedtime goes exactly like this:

Pajamas, medicine (for allergies), brush teeth, go potty… in. that. order.

Read books, the number of which depending on how long the previous stuff dragged on.

Climb into bed, turn on the fish aquarium lights, turn off the room lights.

DO NOT DEVIATE FROM PLAN. STAY THE COURSE.

Aimee: So, today is {insert date}. Is that an even or odd day?

Declan: {making a wild guess} Odd!

Aimee: OK, that means it’s German night. {Odd = German, Even = Spanish. I decided it was only fair to my German ancestry that we make them “odd” night.)

Declan: Let’s count from {date} to {date + 10}!

Aimee: Counting in German with a little voice attempting to follow me…

NEXT UP: BRIEF INTERMISSION WHERE AIMEE SINGS EDELWEISS AND DECLAN MAKES HER RUB HIS BACK IN A VERY SPECIFIC YET COMPLETELY RANDOM WAY!

Aimee: OK, now. What are you going to dream about tonight?

Declan: {Makes up whatever he wants – but it usually includes the Wiggles, his Oma and being allowed to stay at the park all night long.

Aimee: That sound awesome. OK, Gute Nacht (good night), schlaf gut (sleep well), Ich leibe dich (I love you) and Nighty Night. (Because at some point he asked me to through some English in there).

WE ARE IN THE FINAL LEG. STAY FOCUSED.

{Aimee walks over and turns off the fish aquarium, but first we must make a show of saying good night to the electrical fishes}

Aimee: Good night fish!

Declan: Good night fish!

Aimee: {doing her best imitation of a fish voice} Good night Declan!

AIMEE IS AT THE DOOR. FINAL MANEUVERS.

Declan blows a kiss. Aimee makes the catch and EATS the kiss! Aimee tells Declan what the kiss tastes like, usually what we had for dinner because by this point Aimee is beyond ready to be done and then quickly rebound the kiss back to Declan and- he NABS it.

Almost every night it tastes like watermelon.

And then Aimee leaves the room, making sure the door is perfectly one arms length ajar, shaking her head that we perform this exact ritual EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

But I guess I makes Declan more calm and relaxed before going to Dreamyland.

And if truth be told, it does the same for me.

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Comments
  • comment avatar Amber Johnson November 9, 2007

    For the first time in my life, I started to feel really normal after reading this post. Until I remembered our morning routine. ‘Nuff said. 🙂

  • comment avatar monstergirlee November 9, 2007

    One of these days my son is going to stop asking me to sing to him during night-night, and its going to break my heart. We sing Twinkle Little Star, Rock-a-my-baby, and the Ducks in the Soup song (I made that one up).

    I love the night time ritual tho, Declans’ is a little more involved than ours. Its very sweet. No koo-koo comments here. 🙂

  • comment avatar Shannon November 9, 2007

    Very sweet…and so very normal. Our routine is very different, but very similar in length and includes a “Mommy, will you make cookies on my back?” every night. We do vary the recipe – sometimes we add nuts or sprinkles, and sometimes chocolate chips…

    Thanks for sharing…

  • comment avatar Aimee Greeblemonkey November 9, 2007

    “Will you make cookies on my back?” – I love that!

  • comment avatar jen November 10, 2007

    Yup, I know the routine, we have one as well. Each boy has his own nighttime routine, neither one is remotely similar, and the routine often changes without notice. Actually, the routine always changes without notice. Drives me batsnot.
    http://www.raisingcalvin.blogspot.com

  • comment avatar Zipper November 11, 2007

    That is one involved deal! How long does it TAKE?

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