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Proof that I am a mean mom

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Growing up I had a nice mom. You would think that little girls with nice moms grow up to become nice moms themselves. Not in my case. Here are few examples of how not-nice I can be.

I had the nerve to take my kids to I.H.O.P for breakfast, instead of Denny’s like they wanted. When I asked what the difference was they replied, “The food comes faster at Denny’s.”

I’m already regretting buying those 8 year olds a stop watch.

Then there was the time my boys said they needed clean socks for P.E. because they would be playing on the mats, I retorted, “What are you talking about? You have a drawer full of clean socks.”

They answered back, “Yeah, but they still look dirty on the bottom.”

My solution: “Just wear your brown socks and nobody will be able to tell the difference.”

Who has time for bleach? Nice moms that’s who.

You think that’s bad? How about the time we went to the lake this summer? My kids didn’t get to swim because there was lightening nearby. They were so disappointed, I made them a promise I would take them to the pool the next day to make up for it. They didn’t remember the promise and I didn’t remind them. They played video games most of the day and I watched re-runs of Project Runway. Nina Garcia and I make a mighty mean pair!

I’m even mean when it comes to their chores. When one of my sons wanted shirk his duty of picking up dog poop in the yard because he said the smell made him want to vomit, I said, “Just hold your breath. If you don’t breathe in, the smell won’t make you gag.”

I may be mean, but I’m a problem solver.

This last example is the mean mother of them all! I had four squares of chocolate. I ate all of them and didn’t share with the kids. When they came in the room and asked what I was eating I said, “Vitamins.”

My mom was so nice she made us homemade pancakes, kept her promises, and bleached our socks. But, I never have to pick up dog poop or share my chocolate. Being a mean mom can be so sweet.

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Comments
  • comment avatar Nancy Face October 6, 2007

    I need some vitamins right now! 🙂

  • comment avatar Lizzy October 6, 2007

    HA! I have you beat. I am so mean that I bought all my children more Christmas presents than they could handle and that is why they have a hard time cleaning their rooms.

  • comment avatar Tori :) October 6, 2007

    The vitamins made me LOL! Who says we have to share???

  • comment avatar Kayelyn October 6, 2007

    Oh, my kids would think you are nice. There is a rule here that if you don’t have to do your chores (this translates into if you don’t choose to do your chores) then mom doesn’t have to do her chores either. Mom’s chores? Shopping for food, driving to dance practice, putting gas in the car you drive, etc. When mom doesn’t have to do her chores it makes life really hard. Fortunately the very thought of mom’s chores not being done, get their attention.

    Chocolate is for mom’s. It gives kids zits and makes dogs sick:D

  • comment avatar Amanda October 6, 2007

    I’m guilty of the making a promise and then forgetting to remind the kids of said promise. I might be guilty of eating chocolate and not sharing too. Maybe.

  • comment avatar Carrot Jello October 7, 2007

    Where can I get me some of those chocolate vitamins? I’m feeling unhealthy. *cough*

  • comment avatar elasticwaistbandlady October 7, 2007

    Root N Tooty Fresh N Fruity is the reason for elastic’s big booty. Yeah, buttermilk pancakes at IHOP rock my world. Denny’s is a pale substitute.

  • comment avatar elasticwaistbandlady October 8, 2007

    Will you be the President of my Mean Mommies Club, Annie? What about key note speaker?

    I’ll get some nice cheesy promotional crap printed up. How would you feel about using a Mean Mommies Club pot holder?

  • comment avatar Catherine Dix October 8, 2007

    Inspired by your meanness, I just had breakfast at IHOP yesterday. I thought of you, of course. 🙂

  • comment avatar Maria de la Cruz October 8, 2007

    So basicallys I had to be escorted out of McDonalds — again — becuz I “assaulted” the boy takin my order. Its true I smacked him upside the head when he said he would have to charge me fo the extra McNugget dippin sauces. Obviously he was a new employee and didn’t recognize their best customer even though everyone shouted “Maria!” when I came through the door.

    Why do I keeps comin’ back? Some says it be similar to “Beatin Wife Syndrome”. I says to heck wit that. I knows deep down McDonalds truly loves me.

  • comment avatar RobinT January 21, 2008

    Lol, love your post! You should check out the mean mom site at http://askmeanmom.blogspot.com Shes funny, too.

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