Proof that I am a mean mom
Growing up I had a nice mom. You would think that little girls with nice moms grow up to become nice moms themselves. Not in my case. Here are few examples of how not-nice I can be.
I had the nerve to take my kids to I.H.O.P for breakfast, instead of Denny’s like they wanted. When I asked what the difference was they replied, “The food comes faster at Denny’s.”
Im already regretting buying those 8 year olds a stop watch.
Then there was the time my boys said they needed clean socks for P.E. because they would be playing on the mats, I retorted, What are you talking about? You have a drawer full of clean socks.
They answered back, Yeah, but they still look dirty on the bottom.
My solution: Just wear your brown socks and nobody will be able to tell the difference.
Who has time for bleach? Nice moms thats who.
You think thats bad? How about the time we went to the lake this summer? My kids didn’t get to swim because there was lightening nearby. They were so disappointed, I made them a promise I would take them to the pool the next day to make up for it. They didn’t remember the promise and I didn’t remind them. They played video games most of the day and I watched re-runs of Project Runway. Nina Garcia and I make a mighty mean pair!
Im even mean when it comes to their chores. When one of my sons wanted shirk his duty of picking up dog poop in the yard because he said the smell made him want to vomit, I said, “Just hold your breath. If you don’t breathe in, the smell won’t make you gag.”
I may be mean, but Im a problem solver.
This last example is the mean mother of them all! I had four squares of chocolate. I ate all of them and didn’t share with the kids. When they came in the room and asked what I was eating I said, “Vitamins.”
My mom was so nice she made us homemade pancakes, kept her promises, and bleached our socks. But, I never have to pick up dog poop or share my chocolate. Being a mean mom can be so sweet.