Motherhood

The Great Ear Piercing: Why This Rite of Passage is Painful (On Many Levels)

I recently had a conversation with a friend about getting her daughter’s ears pierced and it brought back a flood of memories. Once upon a time, I was only kidding when I said the following to my daughter: “Hey, Sweetie. Do you think you want to try to get your ears pierced again?” “Yes, Mom. I think I am ready.” Ready for what? Another meltdown that resulted in my anxiety attack? I haven’t had an iron-clad rule like some parents when my child should get her ears pierced. I had mine done in kindergarten and we made the same attempt a few years ago when my daughter was the same age during a family visit to Canada. I was rather indifferent when my sister-in-law Jane suggested it and my daughter was game so we headed over to the mall. But then she saw The D...

Why motherhood is NOT about mastering unconditional love

I recently read this poem by Courtney Walsh and think it so beautifully describes motherhood in all its glorious messiness as we fumble our way through. Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require mo...

If you can’t take the heat, don’t get “carmationed”

Our society is so squeamish about death. Until the last six or seven decades, I imagine that death was not so hidden. During agricultural times, we were used to farm animals dying and to dressing our own dead, to having their remains sit in the parlor downstairs until we marched them in a pine box to the family plot in the community cemetery. Perhaps death wasn’t such a spook then. Now, we are so unfamiliar with death that we don’t know how to process it when it inevitably comes into our lives. I try to think about it now and then. I allow my mind to “go there” to lessen death’s foreign-ness, at non-threatening times and in a non-threatening way. Witness the lagoon of quicksand that swallows me when I take this stand with my children. A few years ago in the ca...

7 Steps to Learn What’s Most Important

Do you ever look back on your week and wonder what happened?!? Does a month go by in a blink that makes you want to shout at the sky: just stop!!! Do you feel exhausted just thinking about your schedule? Me too. I have a challenge for us. Let’s figure out what’s most important and why, then put our focus and energy there. Ready? Step 1: {This might be the hardest.} Find 2-6 hours all by yourself. You might carve out time by putting kids to bed early one night or take a weekend afternoon away to a close mountain getaway where you can walk the trails or sit in a quaint coffee shop. Step 2: Write down what you believe is most important to you and why. Consider this step a brainstorming session – write down everything at this stage. Here’s an example: Working out is important to me because I f...

It’s no wonder they don’t want to leave those play structures!

When my daughter was young, one of our favorite places to play is a local play-area at a Rec Center near us. The indoor play-structure was built with a tree house theme in mind, and all of the tunnels stretch out above the room, like the branches of a tree. It’s great because the parents can stand or sit down below and chat while their kiddos crawl through miles and miles of tubing above. There are many different compartments, most all with windows overlooking the room below. There are different slides throughout so that you can easily get down…only to run around like a crazy person on the squishy floor of the play area and climb the spiral stairs up again. Claire and I went there many times. Our Moms’ Club et there on occasion (more now, in colder weather, since meeting at a p...

He’s been a good boy; I’ve just been a bad mom

I’ve got a Christmas confession to make: I’m not sure there’s going to be anything under the tree for my baby boy to unwrap. No, there’s not a budget shortfall. No, I don’t love his older sisters more than I love him. No, there haven’t been any major toy recalls (that I know about, anyway). Really, it’s just that he’s got everything he needs. And even if we weren’t in the midst of trying economic times, I’d still be loathe to spend aimlessly. He doesn’t need any toys or books or stuffed animals. He’s got plenty of sleepers and strollers already. What the kid needs is diapers and wipes, but that would probably rank just above coal in the stocking. Oh [bleep]. I don’t have a stocking for him either. Besides diapers...

Is Natural Childbirth All It’s Cracked Up To Be?

The short answer is, Yes! The long answer… I was just 12 weeks pregnant, when our mid-wife asked about our birth plan. I responded, “What is a birth plan”? Before becoming pregnant, I always had planned on getting an epidural a.s.a.p. Why on earth would I want to experience such pain, if there is miracle drug to take it all away? My husband encouraged me to make my own choice, but challenged me to do a bit of research on natural childbirth before I made my decision. After researching and talking to other moms about their birthing experience, I decided natural childbirth was my “birth plan.” For your sanity, your partner’s sanity and your midwife, doula or doctor, I encourage you to create a birth plan. Use your birth plan as an outline or a goal, but be okay with failing. There are b...

My Parenting Style: Busy and proud of it

Hi.  I’m a busy parent, and refuse to feel guilty about it. I know I know, I’m supposed to be slowing down.  Taking afternoons to sit with a cup of tea and my knitting while the kids play in the other room.  I’m supposed to ignore the clock and calendar once in a while, forcing a family staycation.  I’m supposed to turn the computer and phone off in order to contemplate the wonder of life and precious short time we all have together. While I agree with some of the sentiment and try and take from it little nuggets I can apply to my actual life, I have to admit this new movement to get all of us to “slow down” totally stresses me out! Look, I have a life in which there is no choice but to be a little busy.  Do I add extra things into an already busy life because it’s...

Moms Fight Back: The story of sexual abuse that started this movement

In a world full of abuse, neglect and bullying, there are countless scars. The memories that these scars hold either break us down or inspire us to fight back. I for one, believe in challenging the predators that haunt us and the systems that fail us. Today, I share with you the story of what my daughter went through and the realizations that pushed me to start Moms Fight Back. There have been many challenging events in my life that have influenced me to become the person I am today. The loss of my first husband, a five-year custody battle over my daughter with my drug and alcohol abusing second husband, and the debilitating government regulations for small businesses are just a few of them. But the real reason I started this organization dates back to my daughter’s senior year of high sch...

Candyland is a real place, and it starts on top of my fridge

The chocolate in most mass-produced candy bars is as waxy and luscious as any pillar or stick at a mall candle store. Candy corn tastes nothing like corn and it’s debatable whether it is worth bothering with calling itcandy. Jaw breakers, lollipops, and gumballs are choking hazards. Sweet tarts, Sprees, and Smarties are little disks of processed cringe, perfect for when you want to experience the feeling of your throat puckering. And classic Tootsie Rolls? Reminiscent of cough medicine, cat poo, and cement. I love them all. Halloween is looming and with it parents find themselves ranting about all the candy that will be in the house. Some kids harvest quite a bit and we are no exception. In fact, with several kids of trick-or-treating age I anticipate at least a dozen pounds of pure ...

We Asked, You Delivered: What Busy Moms Really NEED in the Mornings

As busy moms, we know there is nothing more satisfying than getting a little extra help, especially in the morning when your mind is racing in 30 different directions and so are the kids. So, we partnered with the VISINE® Brand to give 15 lucky mamas a #VISINEMorningMakeover! Over the course of the 3-week contest we learned a lot about you and your hectic mornings – nearly 30 percent of you wanted help preparing meals and almost 20 percent of you wanted assistance with cleaning and organizing your home! There were requests for extra caffeine to give you a much-needed jolt of energy, and of course there were a few of you dreamed of spending a little “me time” doing yoga or Pilates. No matter what the request, it’s clear that you Mile High Mamas are busy women! In addition to the meal prep a...

Mom Confessions: What’s in YOUR Purse?

We all do it, moms. The purse clean-out. It may come at the beginning of a new season when it’s time to switch purses or at random. I was so entertained by the contents of my own purse that I thought I would share it. Apparently I would never survive on a deserted island, but at least I would look good with my lip gloss and nail polish in my final days! Receipts galore (gas stations, fast food, restaurants, groceries, mega mart… you name it) chewing gum chewed gum gum wrappers lolly pop sticks (thank you First Bank) crayons toy cars hair bands