Motherhood

Your Summer Fun: Cram-packed or lazy?

Summer is here, and with that the pressure to find new and interesting ways to keep my kids entertained without the structure of school. I know I’m the only parent to feel obligated to pack my kids’ summer break with pricey activities and non-stop enrichment, even though I myself have mildly fond memories of spending those hot months doing nothing more than biking aimlessly around the neighborhood cul-de-sac and watching endless episodes of The Price is Right. I can’t seriously argue in favor of a summer filled with television over the prospect of days outside at horseback riding camp (much though I do appreciate now, at the age of 38, the indelible memory of the distinctive tune of Bob Barker’s famous consumerist game show). Still, it seems undeniable that there is something importan...

Lending a hand to the sky ~ Musings on mothering a graduating child

The western mountains were sandwiched by clouds this morning. The row of peaks was obscured by chalky grey banks of opaque clouds, no doubt packed with snow. I could see the middle elevations clearly. Along the foothills—the base of mountains—were stark white cloud balls. They looked like the trim on Santa’s hat. It was beautiful and I wished I could have pulled off the road to snap pictures. The shoulder was too saturated. If I stopped, I might never get going again. It’s been raining here for nearly a week and that is highly unusual. When I arrived home, I didn’t go inside right away. The rain stopped briefly, so I decided to survey my front garden. Nothing is blooming yet, but the green leafy parts are thriving. They love this rain. Some of my plants have d...

Motherhood: What They See is What You’ll Get

I’ve always been consumed with my kids’ perception of me. Actually, I don’t know if perception is the right word. I mean, I don’t worry if they’re judging me (I have a 13-year-old daughter – I think that’s a given right now), but I’ve always wondered how they interpret me. Does that make any sense? Let me back up. When my husband died seven years ago, my kids were only five, three, and one years old. And from that moment…I felt like I was “on” all of the time; kind of like their own private performance of life. I had witnessed enough in my life to know how I wanted to grieve in front of them. I had been around others who had lost spouses who seemed to almost make their young children their partners in grief. I’d been around adults who had experienced a loss when they were little and their ...

The Unsung Mom: My True Hero

It has been more than ten years since I first saw her. I was recently at the post office and she was standing near me in line. Our eyes connected and she blankly smiled. She did not recognize me. She really had no reason to. But ten years ago, she left an indelible impression on me. In the world’s eyes, she is an overlooked middle-aged mom, with unkempt hair and clothes. I had initially dismissed her as well. But during our interactions, I came to know a beautiful person. Possibly one of the most beautiful I have ever known. When we first met, I was on the cusp of a new life: a newlywed, pregnant and with a whole new world of hope and possibilities in front of me. In my eyes, she was weary and beleaguered. I came to know why: she gave and gave, often leaving nothing for herself. She was a ...

The Mama Sagas–Come Share Your Stories With Us!

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I prepared for everything I possibly could. I thought I had all my ducks in a row. But from the moment I entered the hospital it became clear that becoming a mom is a wild ride and preparation is impossible. There are things no one tells you and no one shares – maybe because they are afraid of scaring you, or afraid of embarrassing themselves or inviting unwelcome judgment. As a result, many women experience moments of panic, isolation, or desperation after our babies are born or adopted. Some women feel terrified or confused or lost…. and women who don’t have close friends or family or good resources may feel like they have nowhere to turn. Even when our kids get older, we tend to sugar coat our realities when talking to other moms. ...

No Sensor: What I Learned My First Year as A Mom

The past 365 days have been a wild ride. My son just turned one year old and I’m in complete shock. I preface this article by stating God has blessed me with the easiest.child.ever. I dread the day God laughs and Declan does a complete 180 and becomes a “terrible two” (or I have baby No. 2), but until then… This is my incredibly honest and oddly numbered list of what I learned this past year as a first-time mom. It wasn’t as hard as I thought…..and no I didn’t have “help” There are moments and even days you don’t like your child as much as you “think you should.” That doesn’t make you the devil Putting yourself and your marriage above your child makes everything easier and everyone happier Amber beads are the real deal…. Try to succeed but expect to fail. You wont be constantly disap...

My Father’s Daughter: Overcoming My Alcoholic Upbringing

For the past few months, I have been struggling to write about my father. I have been very private about him to all but few friends and I have always been confused about my feelings. I still am. Dad was born on April 4, 1939 in Bacau, Moldova. He was a brilliant student and was the only one in his blue-collar family to go to college. He quickly made his way up to becoming lieutenant colonel in the Internal Affairs Ministry, or the now-deceased Securitate. He also taught German and English at the Police Academy and was a tough but encouraging teacher. He was handsome, charming, witty and generous. He was an erudite. To this date, for some of his friends I seem to fail making my own mark, as I am still addressed to as “Ghinet’s daughter.” He was a lady’s man and has been married ...

How a mom’s loving touch and intuition for dying baby resulted in a miracle

For Kate Ogg and her husband David, the arrival of twins finally fulfilled their wishes to have their first child and become new parents. However, after a premature birth the couple was told their first baby would not make it. After both Mom and Dad cuddled, held and talked to their baby, the doctor was shocked to see him with his eyes open. This is a beautiful, powerful story that highlights one mother’s perspective of how her instinct to hold and talk to her baby changed their lives…shared by Johnson and Johnson.

A motherhood warning: don’t say it out loud!

Tell me this hasn’t happened to you: you are sound asleep…the house is quiet…the sun is far from up…you have to pee…you decide to remain uncomfortable, knowing if you get out of bed, someone will pitter patter into the bathroom and start asking you to do stuff for them…you crack an eye open to check the clock, see it’s 5 a.m., snap your eye closed willing yourself comfortable enough to get at least an hour more of sleep…pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter “Mommy, I’m hungry.”…and your day has officially begun! Hey, at least you can pee now. Since my kids were babies I’ve experienced this phenomenon and talked with many parents who know exactly what I mean. My children have some sort of sixth sense, alerting them the moment I emerge from sleep. Maybe when my brain leaves the dream wor...

What My Daughter Said That Shamed Me

Recently I got a rare cuddle from my teen daughter. She lay with her head in the crook of my arm, the rest of her body sprawled on the couch. We were nose to nose, gazing into each others’ eyes, the way you don’t do often enough because that leads to a soul-to-soul connection, and that means you’re spiritually naked and supremely vulnerable. Vulnerable isn’t an easy place for a teen girl or the mom of a teen girl to live in — or even visit very often.

How do I handle the bad behavior of my kids’ friends?

Dear Mama Drama: Hope it’s okay I’m a dad. My wife and I have a 4 year old in preschool and have recently been struggling with whom our little guy is friends. There is one particular boy at school that we feel is a bad influence from whom our son seems to be picking up bad habits. Should we let his teacher know and perhaps ask them to not allow them to spend so much time together throughout the day? (photo credit) We even have the kid’s mother now asking for play dates and we’re not sure if we should encourage our son to hang out with this other little boy. Are we being too protective and controlling?  What would your advice be for encouraging our son to hang out with nicer, more well-behaved kids? Thanks ~ Flustered Father

I Dropped the F- Bomb and Kids Say the Darndest Things

Yes. I dropped the “F” bomb. As in: right in front of my five-year-old. I came home one evening from work and decided to help Husband with the most important part of the dinner: open and pour the wine. As I walked back and forth around the kitchen, I did not bother to read the label on the wine. I only realized upon swiftly and expertly opening the bottle, I was dealing with a sparkling Moscato. As I watched-and felt, mostly- in horror as the Moscato got sprayed all over my face, dress and kitchen floor, I let out a heart-felt, totally-mean-it, “F%%&&K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I got THE look from Husband and yes, you guessed it,  from the noisy five-year-old, who asked for an explanation.  Now we know the word “FF%%&&K” is a Romanian word (I’m Romani...