Humor

Got a picky eater? Join this hilarious club!

Do you have a picky eater? Join the club. Literally. When Mommy Shorts blogger Ilana Wiles asked for tales of picky eaters, her readers responded in droves. The responses are hilarious–everything from Gabe who won’t eat scrambled eggs unless his mom spells out his name in ketchup next to them or “Hello, my name is Olivia and I hate crust. Just just on bread and pizza but but did you know there is crust on pancakes and hot dogs rolls, too?” Because it’s better to laugh than cry, here are some of the best submissions to the Picky Eaters Club, shared via Mommy Shorts.

The Giant Pumpkin of Horrors: How to Terrorize the Neighborhood

Our evil plan was hatched quite by accident. TaRhonda Thomas, a 9News reporter, interviewed my husband Jamie a.k.a. The Pumpkin Man last week. As a fun kicker to the end of the story, she decided to climb inside the 1,292-pound beast. Though Jamie has been growing giant pumpkins for years, it’s the first time anyone ever climbed into it and Jamie shared an idea with me. “I could do that.” “What? Climb into the pumpkin in high heels?” “No, I could hide inside the pumpkin and scare people on Halloween.” When you grow The Giant Pumpkin, your house becomes a popular stop on Halloween but I was doubtful about turning it into a Little Shop of Horrors Giant Gourd of Horrors. Undeterred, Jamie made assignments. My role was the cannibalistic witch in Hansel...

The Sad Truth About the End of Daylight Savings Time

Don’t forget to turn your clocks back and enjoy that extra hour of sleep. Unless, of course, you have kids. Is anyone else awake?

Halloween costume drama: This hilarous viral-video family nails it

Oh, the drama of Halloween costumes. I should know! My daughter wanted to be the  Lady of Lothlórien from the Hobbit and insisted I buy her a beautiful white wedding dress from the thrift store. This would have been swell if she had not later decided she already had a dress that she liked better than the costume we bought. Did I mention the wedding dress was non-refundable? In keeping with our theme from the Hobbit, my son begged to be Smaug, the gold-thirsty dragon. Yeah, right. If I had one ounce of ambition in textiles, I would have taken on the challenge but I’m the mom who has yet to sew on his cub scout badges six months after he received them. So, I convinced my son that a skeleton (like this one) is kind of like Smaug, only much scarier. We’re all familiar with cos...

The Tooth Fairy is busted as daughter’s letter goes viral

It’s the moment parents dread: when our kids prematurely figure out when some childhood magic isn’t real.  Redditor willsanderson posted a photo of the note his 9-year-old daughter Lexi left on her pillow where exi informs her parents that “I know it’s you who gets the money and puts it under my pillow.” She then softens the blow — “I’m sorry if this is hard for you, but I’m 9 now.” — before revealing that she doesn’t believe in Santa Claus either and, “Daddy, I knew it was you, last easter, hiding my easter eggs!” At what age do you think is best for kids to find out the truth?

“The Best Shirt” ever has been found!

The Best Shirt Ever has been located. The family of 12-year-old Joe Archibold, of Longmont, recently sent out a social media solicit, looking for a specific blue, white and gray polo shirt — in the same style Joe has worn for every school picture since second grade. He outgrew the hand-me-down shirt in small size, and then in medium. He couldn’t find the large. He grew nervous that his five-year tradition would be ruined. His family’s simple Facebook pitch went viral and was picked up by media outlets across the country, including the Daily Camera and Longmont Times-Call. And now it looks as if Joe will be able to wear his favorite blue polo for another school picture, and then some. Angela Houchin, of Fort Collins, saw a story about Joe’s hunt and jumped out of her chair...

An Unexpected Visitor: A Night at The Stanley Hotel

As a single mother of three children, every time I take my kids on what I call a “mini-vacation” (because I’m not brave enough to go on a full-size one) I’m always worried that one of us won’t make it back.  This could be for several reasons:  I’ll lose one.  I’ll try to lose one.  I’ll run away screaming and never return after one of them tells me they need to go to the bathroom even though we’ve just stopped for the other two.

A mother of the year’s (scary) nighttime confession

In preparation for a Halloween party last Friday, I trolled music videos on YouTube. I found many classics like Monster Mash and Ghostbusters but the king of them all is, of course, Michael Jackson’s Thriller.  My kids gathered around my computer. My 10-year-old Hadley was so engrossed she watched it twice while 8-year-old Bode was nervous but I wasn’t worried. Though he’s never seen a horror movie, he has no problems with Lord of the Rings and that’s way scarier, right? Wrong. Here’s how our evening played out. 9:40 p.m. I passed out early from exhaustion. 10:30 p.m. Daughter wake-up call. Her: “Mom, Bode is crying.” Me: “Why are you awake?!” (She had just recovered from a two-week stint with enterovirus-turned-pneumonia.) Her: &#...

Trunk or Treat FAIL

Last year I took my kids to a Trunk-or-Treat at a nearby high school. The event had been advertised for almost a month and promised treats, fun and games. I naturally assumed it would be a good fit for my two-year-old. A nice introduction to understanding the rewards for having to wear itchy ladybug antennae. For those of you unfamiliar with Trunk-or-Treating, it’s exactly what it sounds like: Going from car to car to get candy. Where your biggest disappointment is how many accidental lug nuts end up in your child’s goodie bag. It’s supposed to be a one-stop-shop for Halloween carnival and trick-or-treating. This Trunk-or-Treat had none of those things, unless you consider rain, cold and no indoor backup plan part of fun and games. It, for a lack of a better term, sucked. So, to those high...

“You poked my heart” cute kid video goes viral

In the latest kids-say-the-darndest things on YouTube, three young children argue whether it’s “raining” or “sprinkling.”  The boy becomes increasingly frustrated until the culmination around the 1:30 mark when the girl emphasizes her point by poking the boy’s chest. Here’s the thing, kids: you’re all correct. I’m thinking their next weather report should be a lesson in synonyms. Watch video.

Mom Confessions: What’s in YOUR Purse?

We all do it, moms. The purse clean-out. It may come at the beginning of a new season when it’s time to switch purses or at random. I was so entertained by the contents of my own purse that I thought I would share it. Apparently I would never survive on a deserted island, but at least I would look good with my lip gloss and nail polish in my final days! Receipts galore (gas stations, fast food, restaurants, groceries, mega mart… you name it) chewing gum chewed gum gum wrappers lolly pop sticks (thank you First Bank) crayons toy cars hair bands

How to survive the dreaded “Mommy Clique” (and share your own stories)

Now that my kids are in school, they are adjusting to an entirely new social hierarchy. Fortunately, they’re still young enough that friendship prerequisites center around if their peers are nice or if they have the same taste in clothes. The latter was illustrated on the first day of school when my daughter Hadley met her new BFF: a girl who had the exact same pair of shoes. In a few years, such trespasses will result in a cat fight. But there is a murky side to the social hierarchy that is rarely discussed: the Mommy Clique. These are formed when moms are brought together while waiting for their children to emerge from school or in playgroups and at activities. I’d like to think that moms are mutually-supportive and that is mostly the case. But often, there are deep-rooted un...